Lady Houtu

Lady Houtu's eyes darted about. With so many townsfolk watching her, what was she supposed to do now?

After thinking for a long while, she suddenly hit upon an idea.

"Freeze!"

At her shout, every mortal in the county office stopped moving.

Du Yu looked around and found that not only the townsfolk, but Cui Jue, Li Neng, the old woman, and Sihuang had all become as motionless as statues.

"Ugh, I'm roasting." Lady Houtu let out a relieved breath and slowly landed. She lifted her skirt outright, revealing a pair of long, fair legs. "Who decided we could only wear this when descending to the mortal world? It's hot and doesn't breathe at all."

Du Yu froze. Lady Houtu seemed like an entirely different person now, though this version seemed much easier to talk to.

"You there, come over." Lady Houtu beckoned impatiently.

"Coming, coming." Du Yu hurried over to her. "What can I do for you, boss?"

"What exactly is going on?" Lady Houtu fanned herself with her skirt. "My Immobilizing Spell can't freeze you either, so you certainly aren't mortal. But who on earth are you? How come I've never seen you before?"

"Oh, dear!" Du Yu looked troubled too. "Boss, my identity really is too unusual. I can't take an official post in the Underworld. As for who I am, I really can't say."

"What a pain..." Lady Houtu said. "What do we do now, then? You turned me down in front of everyone. You've left me no graceful way off the stage."

"That's easy!" Du Yu leaned closer. "Boss, make Cui Jue an Underworld Enforcer. He couldn't be more suited for it."

"Who? That county magistrate?" Lady Houtu glanced at Cui Jue. "He's not bad-looking, but he's too stupid. He couldn't even see through Mengshan's lies."

"Exactly!" Du Yu joined in the criticism. "He really was too stupid back then. I was furious too."

"Right? Right? I really can't stand him. Several times, I was watching from heaven and couldn't bear it anymore. I wanted to come straight down and beat him up." Lady Houtu rolled up her sleeves. "Oh, right... Since he can't move now, I'll go give him a kick first..."

"Wait, wait..." Du Yu grabbed Lady Houtu, thinking that she really did have an impatient streak. "Boss, you're a great Luo golden immortal, after all. Coming down to freeze a mortal and then kick him isn't really appropriate, however you look at it..."

"True." Lady Houtu pursed her lips. "If the Queen Mother of the West found out, she'd probably nag me for ages again."

"Exactly," Du Yu said. "But Cui Jue really will become an Underworld Enforcer in the future, and a very good one at that."

"That doesn't sound right." Lady Houtu gave Du Yu a suspicious look. "Even I can't divine that by counting on my fingers. How do you know?"

"Well..." Du Yu hesitated. Lady Houtu seemed pretty decent. Surely telling her would be all right?

"I'll tell you the truth, boss." After some thought, Du Yu said, "I come from a thousand years in the future. I'm here to make sure Cui Jue follows history and becomes the chief of the Underworld Enforcers-the Civil Judge."

"The Civil Judge?" Lady Houtu's eyes lit up at once. "I haven't even decided how many people to recruit, and you already know he'll become an Underworld Enforcer? You say you're from a thousand years in the future, so how many Underworld Enforcers did I end up recruiting?"

Seeing that Lady Houtu was interested, Du Yu sat down right beside her and said, "There are millions of Underworld Enforcers, but eight personally selected by you, Lady Houtu, serve as their leaders. They're known as the Eight Great Underworld Enforcers, the Eight Masters of the Underworld."

"The Eight Great Underworld Enforcers?" Lady Houtu held out a hand. "Wait!"

Du Yu was puzzled. Lady Houtu rummaged inside her clothes for a while, pulled out a little notebook, then conjured a pen with a wave of her hand.

"Go on. Which eight?"

"Huh?" Du Yu was stunned. "Hold on, boss. What are you getting at? You want me to give you spoilers?"

"Spoilers?" Lady Houtu looked puzzled. "What are spoilers? No, don't overthink it. I'm just asking you to tell me who those eight people are, so I don't have to search all over the world. I can simply settle on those eight, can't I?"

"That's what spoilers are!" Du Yu covered his face. He had never imagined Lady Houtu would be this sort of person. "Boss, I can't do that. You have to find those eight through all sorts of chance encounters, or by following your own heart."

Lady Houtu thought this over briefly.

"You mean I choose eight people according to my own wishes, and then they become the Eight Great Underworld Enforcers?" she asked.

"Yes, boss. After all, that's the choice you made in the past."

"But I chose you today, and you said no." Lady Houtu chewed on the end of her pen and considered it. "Following that logic, let me make a bold guess. Whenever I choose someone different from those in your world, you have no choice but to come here and correct me."

"Huh?" Du Yu blinked. Though Lady Houtu seemed rather careless, she was still the foremost figure in the Underworld. Working that out was no small feat, and proved just how sharp she was. "That's exactly it, boss."

"Then I get it." Lady Houtu grinned wickedly. "If you don't tell me who those eight people are, believe it or not, I'll pick eight residents of Qi County as the Eight Great Underworld Enforcers right now, and make you run back here over and over."

"What?" Du Yu had never expected Lady Houtu to throw out the usual playbook and threaten him outright. "Boss, you can't do that. Aren't you deliberately making trouble for me?"

Du Yu was utterly speechless. If he had known, he would never have told Lady Houtu who he was. It seemed the Legend Management Bureau's rules really did need to be followed.

"So tell me, and we both save ourselves some trouble." Lady Houtu nudged Du Yu with her elbow. "Right, little brother?"

"No, no." Du Yu shook his head. He had never imagined that a deity of such lofty standing would play dirty with him. "It looks like it would save me trouble, but who knows how serious the consequences could be? How about this, boss? Let's both take a step back."

"How?"

"I won't tell you who the eight are. I'll tell you what their official roles are, and you can look for them based on those roles. That should make things a little easier." Du Yu thought for a moment. "Boss, if I'm not mistaken, you haven't decided on those eight posts either, have you?"

"Uh..." Lady Houtu looked embarrassed. "Those eight need official posts too? If you ask me, they could just become eight sworn brothers and be done with it."

"Oh, come on, how would that work? They're eight Yin Immortals, after all! Eight brothers would be far too..." Du Yu paused, suddenly remembering that those eight really were sworn brothers. It seemed Lady Houtu's way of thinking had left a profound mark on the Underworld.

"Boss, just tell me whether you accept. If you don't, I'd rather keep running back here over and over than make such a huge mess," Du Yu said. "I have a boss above me too, and she'll blame me."

"All right, little brother." Lady Houtu nodded. "Deal. Go ahead."

Recalling the structure of the Underworld's deities that Dong Qianqiu had once explained to him, Du Yu listed the eight official posts. "First and foremost are the Civil Judge and the Military Judge. The Civil Judge oversees the law, while the Military Judge passes judgment on evil ghosts. Second are the Beast-Faced Rakshasas, whose sole duty is to capture and punish all kinds of vicious and evil ghosts. Third are the Golden and Silver Generals, who escort souls through the Underworld. Fourth are Black and White Impermanence, who travel between the worlds of the living and the dead to collect those who have passed away."

Lady Houtu took out her little notebook and carefully wrote it all down.

"This really is a pain..." Lady Houtu looked at the crooked writing filling her notebook. "Do we have to divide it up in such detail? It would be so much easier just to rank them from Eldest to Eighth..."

Du Yu shook his head. He now understood perfectly what sort of person Lady Houtu was. "My lady, think of it this way. If you don't divide things up this carefully, no one will do those jobs, and you'll have to do them yourself in the end. Wouldn't that be even more trouble?"

"True..." Lady Houtu considered it, then nodded. "Fine, I've written down those eight posts. But what do we do now?"

"Now?"

"Yes. Everyone saw me point at you and invite you, and you turned me down. How am I supposed to wrap this up?" Lady Houtu asked irritably.

"My lady, you don't seem like a stickler for propriety. Why don't we just deny it to the bitter end?"

"Not a stickler? Hehehe." Lady Houtu grinned wickedly. "That's a fresh description. I rather like it. So what exactly do we do?"

"Here's the plan..."

"Release!"

Lady Houtu shouted, and everyone resumed moving. She was still floating in the air, and Du Yu was still kneeling beside Cui Jue.

"Hm? What just happened?" Cui Jue was confused. He had clearly sensed something strange just now, but couldn't say exactly what had happened.

The townsfolk exchanged looks as well, but since they were at the "scene of the incident" where a deity had descended, none of them dared speak.

"Cui Jue, I have waited a long time for you. Have you made your decision?" Lady Houtu asked.

"Huh? Who?" Cui Jue froze. "My decision? Why are you waiting for my decision?"

The townsfolk were stunned too. Wasn't she going to admit that Misfit to the celestial roster? How had it turned into waiting for the county magistrate's decision?

"Yes. I just said that you, the county magistrate, can distinguish right from wrong and understand good and evil, and that I wish to bring you into the Underworld to serve as..." Lady Houtu paused, then took out a little notebook and stole a glance at it before putting it away as though nothing had happened. "To serve as the Civil Judge. Surely you heard me? Surely you didn't think I meant someone else?"

Now everyone was truly bewildered. Had they really misheard her just now?

But before Lady Houtu, none of them dared ask!

"Well... I..." Cui Jue was somewhat astonished. "Could this humble official truly hold office in the Underworld...?"

"If I damn well... If I say you can, then you can." Lady Houtu nodded. "If you agree, I shall help you ascend right now."

Du Yu smiled and nodded. Only now could the legend be considered complete.

"This humble official is overwhelmed... With Lady Houtu descending in person, I ought to accept without hesitation. But the circumstances are unusual... Forgive this humble official... I cannot comply..." Cui Jue bowed his forehead to the ground and answered solemnly.

"Huh? Turned down again?"