The two letters I had left for myself had exactly the same contents.
They contained everything about my mother, including the fact that she was already dead.
I had left those letters for myself before going to Seventh Master to be hypnotized.
As for why I had done that, it was because of An Ning.
Liking someone could come from a momentary impulse, but love and "being together" involved more practical things, like responsibility and the little details of everyday life.
I had always remembered what Uncle Song had reminded Song Xiaotian of when he got married.
Uncle Song had said that a man had many responsibilities to shoulder, and some required a lifetime of commitment.
If I got together with An Ning and suddenly recalled those memories far in the future, learning about everything my mother had done, what if it left me unable to get back on my feet? That would be irresponsible toward my family and An Ning.
That was why I had left that letter: to learn everything before confessing my feelings. If I could pull myself together, I would confess. If I could not accept it, I would not.
And so, here I was, confessing my feelings.
I had confidence that I could face the future, and that I could make myself a normal person.
Now.
An Ning and I had already returned to her home.
I had already made everything I needed to express and say clear to her downstairs.
She understood my difficulties, too.
I sat facing her, both our hands clasped together, all twenty fingers interlaced. It felt just like a dream.
For more than a year, it had been as though I was suffering divine punishment. Perhaps even Heaven could not bear to watch anymore, so it had let me meet