Gentle handwriting

Yuan Su's fingers tightened unconsciously, leaving faint creases along the edge of the exam paper.

It was a strange feeling.

As though someone had peered into the most secret corner of his heart, then painted it with strokes full of compassion and tenderness.

Mired in the mud... in a dark corner no one cared about...

Who was this about?

Him?

Yuan Su looked up at the figure beside him, explaining a problem to Xu Suiran.

Slender, slight, always sitting perfectly straight.

What was he thinking?

Why had he felt, for an instant, that this girl was writing about his own experiences?

Yuan Su, you're seriously messed up.

She just wrote an essay to get a good score. Why are you overthinking it? You really think too much of yourself.

He tossed the exam paper back onto Pu Yu's desk, the slightly rough movement stirring a faint breeze.

"Here."

Xu Suiran jumped again and gave him a baffled look. "Y-you finished? So? Wasn't it really good?"

Yuan Su ignored her, pulled an old notebook from his desk drawer, and opened it.

At the top of the page, he scrawled "Written self-reflection."

His pen stopped there and went no further.

The black gel pen spun once between his fingers, then once in the opposite direction.

Xu Suiran complained to Pu Yu in a tiny voice, "Why is your deskmate always so moody? What did your essay ever do to him?"

But Pu Yu watched the boy silently spinning his pen, lost in thought.

The air around him had grown noticeably heavier.

Was it because of... that essay?

Or something else?

After a moment's thought, Pu Yu tore a page from her scratch pad, wrote a few lines, and gently folded it.

She turned her head and lightly prodded Yuan Su's arm with her pen cap.

No response.

She prodded him again.

He turned toward her, his brows still drawn together. A trace of bewilderment at the interruption mingled with his lingering irritation. "What?"

Pu Yu picked up the half-folded note and tentatively slid it in front of him.

"This is for you."

Yuan Su frowned and stared at the paper for two seconds.

Only then did he reach for it and unfold it.

She had laid out an account of what happened in black gel pen.

Her handwriting was neat and graceful:

[Written self-reflection

Dear Teacher Cheng,

I hereby offer a thorough reflection on my actions in getting into a conflict with a classmate and tearing up an exam paper during the monthly exams...]

At the very bottom, she had added a few lines in smaller writing.

"If it's not long enough, you can add a few idioms or parallel sentences. You could also thank Teacher Cheng. She cares about you a lot."

Yuan Su held the paper without speaking or moving.

Did she think he was an idiot?

That he couldn't even write a self-reflection?

"It's not that I think you can't write it," Pu Yu said softly, as though she had guessed his thoughts. "I was partly responsible for this too, so it's only right for me to explain what happened."

Yuan Su stared into her clear, innocent eyes for several seconds.

Suddenly, he felt rather petty.

Why get worked up over a good student?

"...Oh."

He turned away, his voice a little muffled.

Fine.

Since she was being so fair.

Yuan Su picked up his pen and copied the words Pu Yu had written in her lovely handwriting onto the "account of events" section, almost word for word.

The pen tip scratched softly across the paper.

Early the next morning.

Cheng Siyi was marking homework in the office when Yuan Su knocked and walked in.

The boy still wore his faded school uniform, his backpack slung over one shoulder and his face expressionless.

"My self-reflection." Short and to the point.

Cheng Siyi gave him a surprised look. "Right on time?"

Yuan Su grunted in acknowledgment and turned to leave.

"Wait." Cheng Siyi stopped him and unfolded the self-reflection.

The first half was carefully worded and logically organized, giving a clear account of what had happened. It even carried a sincerity beyond her expectations. By all appearances, it could have been written by a model student who genuinely regretted his actions.

"I have come to recognize that the examination room is sacred, and that no matter what happens, violence should never be used to resolve a problem..."

At this point, Cheng Siyi felt quite pleased, thinking the boy had finally come to his senses.

However-

Starting with his reflection on his behavior.

The writing became visibly more "defiant."

"Tearing up the paper was wrong. I admit that. But if someone throws paper balls at the girl in front of me during an exam again, or tries to use those lousy tricks on someone who has nothing to do with it."

"I'll tear it up again."

"I don't think I was wrong. If I made any mistake, it was only having an exam paper in my hand instead of a brick."

"Finally, I hope certain invigilators will stop sleeping and stop leaving students to sort things out themselves. End of reflection."

Cheng Siyi: "..."

The awkward "I wasn't wrong, but I'll humor you" attitude in those last few lines left her torn between anger and laughter.

"Yuan Su! What happened to that thorough reflection at the start? To rashness being the devil? So those first five hundred words were all a lie? And the last part is what you really think?"

Yuan Su stood slouching, without even lifting his eyelids. "The first part was for you, so you'd have something to report. The last part was for me. You have to be honest."

"You-"

Cheng Siyi felt her temples throb.

She could see it now. Those well-behaved lines at the start had most likely come from his exemplary deskmate, the one who had scored full marks on her essay.

"All right. Take that 'honest' attitude of yours and get back to class."

Cheng Siyi shot him a cool glance and said irritably, "If you dare mention a brick again, I'll have you haul bricks for a whole day and see how you like it."

For once, Yuan Su did not talk back.

Cheng Siyi looked at him. "Understood?"

"...Oh."

After Yuan Su left, Cheng Siyi picked up the self-reflection again.

Looking at those last few defiant lines, she shook her head, but could not help smiling a little.

She put the self-reflection in a drawer and took out a blank seating chart.

As a rule, the class changed seats at the beginning of every month. Yuan Su's seat had always been the easiest to arrange-no deskmate to consider, no relationships to coordinate. He always stayed in the corner of the back row.

Cheng Siyi still remembered assigning Yuan Su an outgoing deskmate at the start of their second year of high school, thinking the boys might have something in common.

The very next day, that boy's mother had stormed into the office and pointed at Yuan Su, hurling abuse at him in front of all the teachers:

"How is a child from that kind of family fit to sit with my son? His father's a gambling addict and his mother's mentally ill! Are you trying to ruin my son's future? How much money did his family pay the school?!"

The shouting that day had echoed through the entire floor.

Yuan Su had stood motionless at the office door, listening to the parent's vile insults, his face expressionless, as though he were already used to it.

Cheng Siyi had been so angry her hands shook, yet she had still had to maintain a teacher's composure, explaining over and over that "you can't judge a child by his family."

But it had been useless. No one wanted to listen.

Only when the year-level director intervened and transferred the woman's son to another class had the matter finally settled down.

After that, Cheng Siyi had never assigned Yuan Su another deskmate.

Not because she agreed with those prejudices, but because she had to admit that sometimes, so-called "special care" only subjected a child to more scrutiny and pressure.

Those words had been too cruel.

So cruel that even now, recalling them made Cheng Siyi's chest tighten.

Then Pu Yu had transferred in.

There had been no spare seats in the class, so she had temporarily seated her beside Yuan Su.

She had only intended it as a stopgap until the official reshuffle after the monthly exams. But from what she had observed lately, things seemed... a little different?

That boy Yuan Su had actually been willing to put effort into a self-reflection.

Cheng Siyi set down her pen. Rarely had she felt so conflicted.

Was leaving him without a deskmate another form of isolation?

When Pu Yu had bravely stood up to speak for Yuan Su yesterday, it had been like a sudden wake-up call.

They had both been in the same examination room. Why had she only called Yuan Su in, without thinking to ask Pu Yu to confirm what happened?

She had always told herself it was to protect Yuan Su, but deep inside, a voice asked: Have you really done everything you could? Or have those prejudices unconsciously influenced you too, making you think this is best for him and everyone else?

Most importantly, she had to consider Pu Yu as well.

Pu Yu's math and science grades were average, and she was at a crucial stage in improving them.

She could not neglect one hardworking student for the sake of another whose circumstances saddened her.

Outside the window, the camphor trees rustled in the autumn wind.

Cheng Siyi stared at the seating chart and made a bold decision.