He grabbed little Jiraiya by the back of his collar, peeled him off his leg with one hand, and gave him a shake in midair.
"You can be my sidekick, but being my sidekick isn't easy. Are you sure?"
"I've made up my mind! Just say the word, boss! Whatever the test is, I'll brave fire and water without hesitation!"
Little Jiraiya hung there obediently, holding up a finger with a look that said he could be trusted to get the job done.
"Hmm, first of all, women only slow down your sword draw. So the first requirement for being my sidekick is staying away from women. Can you do that?"
"Ah, of course... not!"
Jiraiya began to struggle.
"There's someone I like! That's the one thing I can't do!"
"Someone you like? All right, then, let's change the condition. As everyone knows, homewreckers deserve to be struck down by all. As warriors of true love, once we give our hearts to someone, we need to keep our distance from everyone else of the opposite sex and show our beloved the most basic respect..."
Little Jiraiya looked baffled, so Watanabe Ichiro tried another approach.
"Simply put, no peeking at other girls bathing, and no holding other girls' hands. I don't need to spell out anything beyond that, do I?"
Little Jiraiya blushed, waving both hands up and down.
"Th-that's obvious! What kind of person do you take Lord Jiraiya for?"
Are you sure?
Watanabe Ichiro looked unconvinced. Being a pervert was practically written into the boy's character profile.
Still, plenty of things in this world had already changed, so-
"I believe you."
Watanabe Ichiro set little Jiraiya down.
"Now tell me what you've learned from your investigation. This is your first test as my sidekick."
"Yes!"
Little Jiraiya stood at