A slap

Those three words silenced both father and son.

Wu Junji was surprised.

Emperor Zhou felt guilty.

Emperor Zhou gave a light cough to cover it up. "You little brat raise your arms and beg to be carried after barely a few steps. You'd embarrass me outside."

"Junzheng is a sturdy little tiger, stronger than you, sturdier than you, and better at walking."

Wu Junji pretended not to understand:

"Little Brother Junzheng is also your son, Father. Would he and Consort Dong be unhappy if you had her send him over just because I'm bored?"

Emperor Zhou settled his son on his lap, holding him with one arm while sipping tea with the other to quench his thirst.

"How does someone so young have so much on his mind?"

"Just answer me. Do you want him here or not?"

"Hmm..." Wu Junji said, "I want something else."

Emperor Zhou's palm immediately itched.

"Let's hear it."

Wu Junji abandoned the Cloth Tiger too. Sweeping both hands through the air, he declared extravagantly,

"A huuuge palace!"

Emperor Zhou laughed, sweeping his sleeve through the enormous palace his son had outlined, and mimicked his tone:

"Nooo way!"

He had fathered the little menace himself, so naturally he had to keep him under his nose and raise him personally. Did the boy know what raising him personally meant? Eating, dressing, living, going places-all together!

To his ears, Wu Junji asking for a separate palace was no different from asking to split up the family.

"Has someone in the palace been whispering nonsense in your ear?"

"The servants? Your imperial grandfather and grandmother? Or someone from the harem?"

Emperor Zhou sneered twice. "Don't tell me it was those people outside fixing bricks and replacing tiles?"

"The roofing and repairs outside aren't for the Imperial Noble Consort. I ordered them because I thought the place looked shabby."

"I won't make you suffer by giving up your palace to her. On the day of her investiture, I'll have the Imperial Noble Consort move into the Rear Side Hall of Taiji Palace. You stay put and stop letting your mind wander!"

He tugged Wu Junji's ear. "Did you hear me?"

Recently, officials at court had argued that this violated ceremonial rules and that the Crown Prince should be moved out of the Main Hall to make way for the Imperial Noble Consort.

Emperor Zhou treated every word as a fart.

One was his own flesh and blood; the other was a woman he had never even met. Did he really need to choose which mattered more?

Make the Crown Prince give up his palace to the Imperial Noble Consort? To hell with that!

Sometimes Wu Junji marveled at the wonders of heaven and earth, which had managed to produce someone like Emperor Zhou.

"I wanted a palace myself. It has nothing to do with the Imperial Noble Consort."

Emperor Zhou glanced at him.

"I don't believe that."

Two-year-olds were at their clingiest. Why would he suddenly want a palace for no reason?

Someone must have put ideas in his head!

Wu Junji said, "..."

"Then do you think it's appropriate to welcome the Imperial Noble Consort into the Rear Side Hall, Father?"

Ancestral rules were there for all to see, yet Emperor Zhou insisted on marrying the Imperial Noble Consort into the Rear Side Hall instead of allowing her into the main palace. What would he say when the officials in charge of rites asked why?

Because the Crown Prince lived in Taiji Palace, and the Imperial Noble Consort had to yield it to him.

It was simply absurd.

As though planting a radish, Emperor Zhou planted the son on his lap onto the carpet, using his height to look down scornfully on the little radish.

"What's inappropriate about it? Am I marrying her, or are you?"

"You're tiny, but you certainly have plenty to worry about."

"What? When I bow to heaven and earth at the wedding, should I bow to you too?"

Wu Junji turned his little face aside and shot back,

"If you're willing to bow, I'll accept it."

Emperor Zhou kicked his bottom.

"You're running wild!"

"Making Chen Jin my consort is a favor to the Chen Family! Since it's a favor, what right does she have to pick and choose?"

"She'll move into whichever room I tell her to!"

"There's nothing to discuss about a palace."

Sparing the Chen Family for the little menace's sake had already given them more honor than they could dream of.

Emperor Zhou followed a set of rules that no one else could interfere with.

Only Emperor Zhou himself considered those rules reasonable.

Wu Junji pondered for a few moments, then asked softly,

"Father, are you afraid of being cursed?"

"They can curse all they like. What the hell does that have to do with me?"

"I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of? With me here, who would dare touch a hair on your head? I'll behead anyone who curses you!"

"If one day you stop liking me, will you still protect me?"

Emperor Zhou snorted. "I don't like you all that much now."

"Stubborn, weak, short and squat, with a belly full of petty grudges. What's there to like about you?"

Wu Junji said, "..."

Neither soft words nor hard ones worked; neither oil nor salt could get through.

When he was serious, the other man didn't believe him.

When he reasoned, the other man wouldn't listen.

When he expressed his feelings, the other man undercut him.

Since that was how it was, Wu Junji abandoned reason too. He tipped his head back and shouted,

"I don't care! I want a palace! If you won't give me one, I'll run away from home!"

Emperor Zhou grew even more scornful. "Go on, then, if you've got what it takes. If you can make it out of Taiji Palace, I'll take your surname, you little thing!"

The squat radish on the carpet raged like a bull calf, charging forward and sinking his teeth into the old bastard's thigh. Shocked and furious, Emperor Zhou hissed in pain and brought his palm down on the little menace's bottom, but Wu Junji slipped away in a flash.

Qian Deli hurried over. "Your Majesty, let this servant look at your leg!"

Emperor Zhou kicked him to the ground and roared, "Look at it, my ass!"

Like a tiger charging out of the forest, he stormed outside to fetch his cub in his jaws.

"You little bastard! You dare bite your father! I'll whip him to death with my belt today!"

Some bright spark shouted, "Stop the Crown Prince!"

The guards and eunuchs outside Taiji Palace came swarming over, surrounding the Crown Prince like leeches.

The sight sent Emperor Zhou's fury soaring. He tore the jade pendant from his waist and hurled it.

"Fuck your ancestors! Let's see who dares!"

The crack of shattering jade struck terror throughout the palace.

Only that outrageously bold little menace still dared to run flat out.

Emperor Zhou strode as swiftly as a dragon riding the clouds, scooping up the little menace and tucking him under his arm.

He rewarded each servant who had just surrounded the Crown Prince with a kick straight to the chest.

"Did I tell you to touch him?!"

"How many dogs' guts do you have, daring to surround the Crown Prince?!"

"Who shouted just now?! Flay him for me!"

"Qian Deli! If this happens again, I'll kill you!"

Qian Deli knelt and knocked his head against the ground. "This servant will certainly give Your Majesty an accounting!"

Without even going through the hall doors, Emperor Zhou treated his wayward son to a serving of palm-fried backside on the spot.

"Biting your father! You've turned rebel!"

"You rebellious little thing! Your old man will teach you the rules between father and son today!"

Wu Junji flailed all four limbs as though dog-paddling, howling wildly.

"Heeelp-he's beating me to death!"

"Waaah!!"

Wu Junji screamed pitifully, but Emperor Zhou didn't believe a word of it. He was cupping his hand for every smack. How much could it possibly hurt?!

The little menace was deliberately playing the victim!

Once Emperor Zhou was set alight, he would sink his teeth into his target and refuse to let go until the other party yielded.

"I'm asking you! Do you admit you were wrong?"

Wu Junji shouted, "Everyone else has a palace! Why can't I have one!"

"I want a palace!"

"I let you live in Taiji Palace because I love and cherish you! I wouldn't let anyone else live here even if they wanted to, and you're actually being picky?!"

"You don't know how blessed you are! I think you're so stuffed with food you've got nothing better to do than make trouble!"

Wu Junji wiped his tears with his lips turned down, retreating a step between sobs.

"I don't want a palace anymore. I'll move into the Rear Side Hall."

Emperor Zhou roared, "I already told you my marrying the Imperial Noble Consort has nothing to do with you! I'll marry her into whatever place I please! Since when do you get to decide for me!"

Even 88 felt exhausted listening from the sidelines. Emperor Zhou wouldn't give Wu Junji a palace, nor would he let him move.

No matter what the Crown Prince said, Emperor Zhou believed he was making trouble over the Imperial Noble Consort.

The truth was that Emperor Zhou refused to give the Crown Prince the palace he should have received upon his investiture, and refused to welcome the Imperial Noble Consort into the Main Hall of Taiji Palace as he should.

Yet he thought he had every justification and stubbornly held to his views.

Emperor Zhou said, "Since you won't admit you were wrong, you won't eat today!"

Wu Junji hated nothing more than being threatened with hunger.

It wasn't just because of his sixteen years as a beggar, but also because the old bastard really had nearly starved him to death in prison.

To Wu Junji, hunger was hell.

He burst into loud sobs. "Waaah-I hate you!"

"I hate you!"

Smack! A slap came without warning.

Wu Junji's ears buzzed, and his crying cut off abruptly. Dazed, he looked up at Emperor Zhou.

Every servant in the palace was stunned by that slap.

Father and son had bickered before, but never once had it become real!

Emperor Zhou's hand trembled uncontrollably. Although Wu Junji was the one who had been struck, Emperor Zhou was the one most hurt and heartbroken. He fled in disarray, leaving one command behind:

"Watch him!"

The servants of Taiji Palace were frightened, silent, or distant...

With Emperor Zhou's departure, all of Taiji Palace fell quiet.

Wu Junji raised a hand to touch his cheek. It hurt terribly-

His ears were still ringing a little. Wu Junji's mouth puckered, and tears fell in heavy drops. He didn't care about his face. He was afraid he had gone deaf.

He had been deaf in one ear in his previous life. If he went deaf again in this life...

All kinds of dark thoughts flashed through his mind. He kept tugging his earlobes until the ringing slowly faded, and only then did he gradually relax.

An entire lifetime lay between him and Emperor Zhou.

Neither knew the other's sore spots, yet when they argued, they struck straight at each other's vital points with ruthless precision.

88 took a moment out of dancing to glance at him. "Took it too far?"

Wu Junji said nothing. His half-lowered eyes held too many emotions that no one could understand.

As time passed, his little protruding belly flattened and began to growl.

He was hungry.

Wu Junji raised his eyes to the sky outside. In his previous life, Chen Yu had reminisced about his childhood in front of him: every evening between five and seven, the family at the Chen Residence would gather for dinner.

He stood, tossed the Cloth Tiger onto the carpet, and stretched his legs, numb from squatting. The little mole at the corner of his eye, reddened from crying, held a hint of danger.

"Out of the palace. Find Chen Yu."

By the time he returned from outside the palace, the old bastard would have thought things through, the palace issue would be settled, Chen Yu would be upset, and he would be happy too.

One move for four gains. What a windfall!