Night Talk (1)

Liu Qian lay down fully clothed, her mind a whirl in the darkness, unable to sleep.

Usually, Guo Sufi would tidy up the house and be the last one to sleep. But tonight, she had gone to bed early on the kang, without getting up to settle anyone else. The other men hadn't noticed these details, but Liu Qian had taken them to heart. Especially the strange look on her face after returning from her maternal grandmother's place, which made Liu Qian even more suspicious. However, this was the Zhang family's private affair. As an outsider, it was really inappropriate for Liu Qian to ask about it, so she could only keep it to herself.

Guo Sufi also tossed and turned in the darkness, occasionally letting out a quiet sob. After a long while, Guo Sufi's mood finally calmed down. She asked softly, "Qianqian, you're not asleep yet, are you?"

Liu Qian replied cautiously, "I haven't fallen asleep yet, Auntie."

Guo Sufi sighed and said apologetically, "Alas, I'm a bit upset about some things, and I've made a fool of myself in front of you."

Liu Qian smiled and said, "Auntie, who doesn't encounter troublesome things? It's nothing."

Another period of silence. Guo Sufi continued, "Qianqian, when did your mother leave you?"

Liu Qian thought for a moment and said, "My father told me it was when I was four years old. She contracted a very serious illness, and despite seeking medical help, nothing worked. I don't have any memories of my mother when she passed away."

Guo Sufi said, "Perhaps having no memories is a kind of blessing, saving you from constant longing."

Liu Qian said, "Yes, Auntie, what you said makes a lot of sense. My impressions of my mother are all from what my father told me. He said my mother's family was very wealthy, while my father's family was not well-off at the time. But my father's knowledge impressed my mother. My maternal grandfather and grandmother were against it and absolutely refused to agree. My mother, in order to be with my father, resolutely left home and cut off contact with her parents. Alas, my maternal grandfather was also heartless; I still don't know where they are, nor have they ever come to see us. My father had extensive knowledge, but he disliked politics and disdained the scheming in official circles, which is why he never left home and has always lived in the mountain village, making a living by teaching. My mother lived there too."

After a slight pause, Liu Qian continued, "My mother's health was always weak. The doctor had advised her not to have children if possible. But for my father, my mother still gave birth to my elder brother. She was severely weakened at the time and took many years to recover. When she was pregnant with me, my father also advised her, fearing that something might happen to her. But my mother said that since the child was conceived, it was a gift from heaven, and she was willing to give up everything for the child. The birth of me was smooth, but my mother's health deteriorated, and it was very bad until the day she passed away. I always think that if my mother hadn't had me, she would surely have been fine."

As she spoke, Liu Qian's voice became choked with emotion.

Guo Sufi comforted her, "Qianqian, when you become a mother yourself, you will understand. Children are everything to a mother's heart. If a mother can do ten things for her child, she will never do only nine. Even though you were still in your mother's womb, everything about you was already imprinted on your mother's heart. She would never consider her own body and not want you. She would have thought of you early on, wanting to bring you safely into this world."

Liu Qian said, "Yes, Auntie, sometimes I feel very grateful to my mother. Although I truly only have vague impressions of her, she not only escaped the constraints of her family for her own happiness but also sacrificed her life for her children. Sometimes I think about it, maternal love is so ordinary yet so great. And Auntie, I haven't been here long, but I especially like the harmonious atmosphere in your home. Seeing how Xiaohua and the others depend on you, I am also very envious."

Guo Sufi said, "Qianqian, I can't compare myself to your mother. I grew up in this small mountain village and didn't go to school or learn to read. I'm not like your mother who read many books and knows many things. Ever since your uncle married into our family, I felt that since we are living together, we should be harmonious and respect each other. Otherwise, what joy would life have? Later, we had these three sons, Xiaolong, Xiaohu, and Xiaohua. Watching them grow up little by little, you can't imagine the feeling, my heart is filled with pride and accomplishment. Your uncle and I are not very literate, and our knowledge is limited. Our children have also suffered with us, and we haven't been able to educate them well. We can't compare them to you and your siblings."

Liu Qian said, "Auntie, what you say is not entirely accurate. Although my siblings and I have read more books and know more characters and have seen more, Auntie, when Yueyue and I were bullied in town, there were many educated people present, but none of them stepped forward? It was people like Xiaolong, who haven't read many books but understand justice in the world, who stood up without fear of power or force. This kind of goodness is true goodness. The more one reads, the less passion one has, and the more considerations one has, which may not be stronger than those who don't read."

Guo Sufi said with relief at this point, "Speaking of them, I am truly happy. These children are naturally kind and sensible from a young age. Although they are mischievous, they don't harm others, and they know our family's situation, so they never cause us trouble. Everyone in the village has liked them since they were young. When it comes to helping others, they have really done a lot. Raising them to this age, I, as their mother, am very proud of them. In fact, sometimes I think, if our family situation were truly better, these children might not be as reassuring to us now."

Liu Qian agreed, "Yes, Auntie, sometimes a person's destiny is predetermined. Growing up well in this environment, forcibly changing the environment may not yield good results."

Then, seeing that Guo Sufi's mood had improved slightly, Liu Qian continued to ask, "Auntie, it seems you haven't told me about today's events yet. Keeping things bottled up isn't good for you. Speaking them out is beneficial for your health."

Guo Sufi forced a smile and said, "Look at me, when I talk about my children, I get sidetracked. In my life, I really think about my children a lot."

Liu Qian didn't interject. Guo Sufi continued, "As a mother, I worry about my children, their comfort, their warmth, and their food. But I have neglected my own mother. When I was a child, my mother also took care of me, paid attention to me, and watched me grow up and become a good person. Now, I've poured all my energy into my own children and early on forgotten my own mother. Although I take care of her every day, cook for her, and make new clothes for her, I rarely talk to her heart-to-heart or ask about her thoughts. Now, when I think about it, I should have done more for my mother."

Liu Qian also felt a lump in her throat. Yes, all mothers in the world dote on their children, but their children often neglect their own mothers. She comforted Guo Sufi, "Auntie, your mother is happy to see that you focus on your children. She won't mind if you don't pay attention to her; she will just give her love for you to her own grandchildren. Moreover, Auntie, your mother is also by your side, isn't that better than me, who has no mother to dote on?"

Guo Sufi said wistfully, "But when you want to repay your mother, you find that you don't have much time left with her. Won't you regret not realizing this sooner?"

Liu Qian also sighed, saying, "Yes, 'The desire to support one's parents arises, but they are no longer there' is also a great regret in life. However, Auntie, your mother is already so old. She has seen you get married and seen her grandchildren born and grow up, so she must be very happy. Even though you haven't directly cared for her, you are indirectly caring for her. I think your mother will definitely not blame you."

After a pause, Guo Sufi said, "Qianqian, it's good that you can read, write, and understand things like this. After listening to your words, my heart feels much more at ease. We village women in the countryside sometimes can't turn our minds around."

Liu Qian said, "Auntie, please don't praise me so much. I am also from a farming family."

Guo Sufi said, "Qianqian, don't be so modest. At least I know that in these four villages and eight hamlets, there isn't a child as intelligent as you. By the way, don't mind what your maternal grandmother said to you this afternoon if it was impolite."

Liu Qian said, "I won't, Auntie."

Guo Sufi was quiet for a while, and finally said, "Qianqian, but then again, this is her last wish, and our family likes you very much. I've also been wanting to ask about your feelings. Since we mother and daughter have talked so much today, I won't hold back. What do you think of Xiaolong? Is he alright?"

Now, it was Liu Qian's turn to be quiet.

Liu Qian didn't know how to answer. To be honest, she was very satisfied with Xiaolong. But after all, the time they had spent together was short, and these few days of interaction couldn't reveal a person's true nature. However, fate brings people together from a thousand miles away, and without fate, they wouldn't recognize each other. Sometimes, fate is a very difficult thing to explain. A few days of interaction can leave an unforgettable impression, while years of interaction might only leave friendship. It's the same with judging a person. Sometimes, understanding someone takes just a glance. If you don't understand, even looking a thousand or ten thousand times will only result in a blur. As for her fate with Xiaolong, from a hero saving a beauty to a beauty offering herself in return, it was truly a legendary tale. But to stake her entire life's happiness on Zhang Xiaolong based solely on this, she naturally still hesitated.

Her maternal grandmother treated her extremely well, and the Zhang family also treated her extremely well. She quite liked Zhang Xiaolong and this poor but warm and harmonious home. This home was also very similar to her own home, filled with mutual respect, love, and warmth. She was willing to join this family and fulfill her maternal grandmother's last wish, to see her leave this world without regret. But all of this seemed too immature. Should she give it some time to brew and ferment?

Liu Qian hesitated, finding it difficult to answer.

After a long while, she said, "Auntie, it's too late today. Let's talk about it another day."

Guo Sufi also sighed softly and said no more.

In the small courtyard of the Zhang family, the moonlight shone brightly. How many people could sleep?