The Illness

After half an hour, Liu Qian finally stopped crying.

She pointed to the stream and said to Zhang Xiaohua, "Xiaohua, look at this river. From its source, it's just a thin trickle of water. As it flows along the riverbed, more water gathers, and it grows bigger and bigger. Slowly, it will become a large river, then a great river, and finally flow into the sea. It's like people; it's a process of growth. The sea is its destination. If a small river stops flowing, what will it become? A pond, a stinking ditch. If a small river stops flowing, it loses its meaning of existence, and it will die. People are the same. We must go through birth, growth, and death. This is a complete life. We don't know about those who can live forever. For ordinary people like us, birth, old age, sickness, and death are necessities in life, notes in the song of life."

Zhang Xiaohua asked curiously, "Why can't we live forever?"

Liu Qian said, "Because we don't know how to live forever."

Then she continued, "Like Grandmother, she's over eighty years old. She's been through so many ups and downs, from learning to speak, to growing up, to meeting your Maternal Grandfather, forming a family, then having your Mother, and raising her with hardship and dedication until she grew up. She saw your Mother marry your Father and live together. She also saw her lifelong companion pass away suddenly. Now, she's watching her grandchildren, like you, be born and grow up. Her life has been very fulfilling. She doesn't have too many regrets. You should be happy for Grandmother's complete life. How many people can have a life of over eighty years?"

Zhang Xiaohua looked up and asked, "Then what should I do?"

Liu Qian stroked Xiaohua's head and said, "What you need to do now is to compose yourself and stay with Grandmother. Let Grandmother see her beloved grandson during her last period, without any unhappiness, and leave in peace."

The gloom in Zhang Xiaohua's heart finally began to dissipate. A slightly happy smile appeared on his face, and he said, "Sister Liu, you know so much. What you said makes sense to me. If I told my Mother this, she would definitely hit me and say I'm not thinking positively."

Liu Qian said, "Everyone has their own way of expressing their thoughts. Your Mother treats you that way to tell you not to overthink things, in her own way. I'm just telling you in a different way. If you can understand my way, you can come and tell me anything in the future."

Zhang Xiaohua said playfully, "Of course. I'll definitely need to talk to you properly in the future."

Liu Qian said, "You mischievous little rascal, hurry up and fetch water. The sun is already high. Your Mother will scold you again soon."

Zhang Xiaohua stuck out his tongue and said, "Then let's hurry. But if I come out with you, Mother definitely won't blame me for being late."

Although he said that, Zhang Xiaohua still hurried to fetch water, because Grandmother seemed to really like drinking this mountain spring water.

In the following days, Grandmother's condition worsened. She even coughed up blood. Just as Zhang Xiaohua had said, Grandmother's illness was not ordinary. This time, Guo Sufi was truly anxious. She couldn't bother to blame the veterinarian Old Chen, nor could she spare time to care for her injured family members. She quickly found a donkey cart and prepared to take Grandmother to the town to see a doctor. Zhang Xiaohua insisted on going, but his Mother kept him at home. Zhang Cai, the head of the Zhang family, was going. Although his leg injury had not fully healed, it was a good opportunity to have the doctor examine it. The donkey cart had limited space, so only the grandson whom Grandmother loved the most was left at home.

The donkey cart, carrying a group of people, departed early in the morning. Zhang Xiaohua helped Liu Qian take care of his two injured brothers and assisted with household chores. Unfortunately, his mind was still on his Grandmother, and he kept peeking outside. Although Liu Qian desperately wanted to tell him that Grandmother wouldn't be back until dark, seeing Zhang Xiaohua and his brothers Zhang Xiaolong and Zhang Xiaohu looking distracted and anxious, she held back. She just thoughtfully did the household chores without saying any comforting words.

Time passed little by little, and the sky gradually darkened. Finally, Zhang Xiaohua saw the long-awaited donkey cart in his sight. Zhang Xiaohua immediately jumped down from his chair. Without calling his two brothers, he rushed out of the house. In his haste, his foot caught on a small stool by the door, and he stumbled, almost falling. He didn't bother with the small stool he kicked aside and ran out the door.

By the time he ran out of the small fence gate, the donkey cart was closer. He saw the person driving the cart jump down, lead the little donkey a few more steps by its reins, and then stop in front of Zhang Xiaohua. The driver then pulled the reins and stopped the cart in front of the Zhang family courtyard.

The three people sitting in the back of the cart, dressed in thick clothes, couldn't be seen clearly in the twilight. Before the donkey cart even came to a complete stop, Zhang Xiaohua heard a heavy cough from one of them. He walked to the front of the donkey cart with concern and called out obediently, "Grandmother~". Unfortunately, Grandmother was coughing hard and couldn't respond to her grandson's greeting.

Guo Sufi got off the cart first. She called to Zhang Xiaohu, who had already rushed over, to help Zhang Cai down. Then, with Liu Qian and Zhang Xiaohua, they carefully helped Grandmother, who had just finished coughing, down from the cart.

Zhang Cai paid the driver, and the donkey cart left directly, leaving the Zhang family standing in the twilight.

Liu Qian and Zhang Xiaohua helped Grandmother, who was coughing all the way, to her small room. Listening to the coughs, Zhang Xiaohua's heart ached. But halfway there, Grandmother said with difficulty, "Let's go to the main hall first. I want to spend more time with you all."

The two of them, as instructed, helped Grandmother into the main hall.

Guo Sufi followed in absentmindedly, then Zhang Xiaohu helped Zhang Cai, who was still limping and looked dejected. Finally, Zhang Xiaolong, with his arm still in a sling, entered the room.

The main hall was not large. Once everyone was inside, they sat down in silence, and the air in the room seemed to freeze.

At this moment, Grandmother started coughing again. Liu Qian quickly went over, poured Grandmother a cup of warm water, and only then did her coughing gradually subside.

Liu Qian wanted to speak to break the silence but didn't know how to start.

Finally, Grandmother spoke, "The doctors in town are really not cheap, Sufi. We won't go again next time. It costs one qian of silver for one visit. How long will that take for our family?"

Guo Sufi forced a smile and said, "Mother, what are you saying? If you're sick, you have to see a doctor. Even if the family is poor, we can't delay treating this illness."

Grandmother said again, "I know my own illness. Doctors can't cure it. I said I wouldn't go, but you insisted on wasting this qian of silver."

Guo Sufi's eyes were a little red now. She said, "Mother, please don't worry about us. Zhang Cai needs to see a doctor too. You going was just on the way."

Grandmother sighed and said no more. After drinking a little more water, her cough seemed to ease. Only then did she let Xiaohua help her back to her room to rest.

Zhang Xiaohua took Grandmother to the kang, covered her with a quilt. Grandmother seemed tired and fell asleep soon after. Zhang Xiaohua then tiptoed out of the small room.

Returning to the main hall, he saw his Mother sobbing softly and wiping away tears. His Father sat with a grim expression, silently smoking his dry-pipe. Eldest Brother, Second Brother, and Liu Qian also looked unwell.

Zhang Xiaohua knew Grandmother's condition was not good, which was not unexpected. He didn't have the energy to ask about the specific illness. He just silently found a small stool and sat in the shadows by the wall.

After half an hour, Guo Sufi finally calmed down a little and stopped crying. She seemed to notice Xiaohua's return and asked softly, "Xiaohua, did your Grandmother fall asleep?"

Zhang Xiaohua nodded. "Yes, Mother. Grandmother was probably tired. She lay on the kang for a short while before falling asleep."

Guo Sufi turned to Zhang Cai and asked, "Child's father, what do you think we should do? Should we go to a larger city to find a better doctor?"

Zhang Cai took a deep puff of his pipe, exhaled, and squinted. "Alas, didn't the doctor say that Mother's illness isn't just a simple cough? It's because she's old and her body can't support itself anymore that she's coughing. There's no cure. Besides, with Mother's body like this, can she travel to a larger town? The closest one, Pingyang City, is said to take a day and a night of non-stop galloping. Mother probably can't endure it."

Guo Sufi became sad again, her voice trembling with tears. "So we just watch Mother's body deteriorate bit by bit? Listen to her cough so severely every day?"

Zhang Cai gave a wry smile. "There's nothing we can do about it. Didn't the doctor also say that he rarely sees people of Mother's age? Moreover, for an eighty-year-old, Mother's body is considered good. I think we should listen to the doctor and let Mother recuperate well, rest well, eat well, and let her live out this time happily."

Guo Sufi had no other options. She knew her Mother was nearing the end of her life, but she still held onto a glimmer of hope, desperately seeking any solution. However, in the face of such cruel reality, how much value could a person's hope have?

Guo Sufi gazed powerlessly at the flickering flame of the oil lamp, lost in thought. Suddenly, she asked Zhang Cai, "By the way, child's father, what did the doctor say Mother was eating? Why don't I know about it?"

Hearing this, Zhang Cai also looked up, looking at Guo Sufi with confusion.

Everyone asked in unison, "What thing?"

Zhang Cai knocked the ashes from his pipe and said, "At the medical hall, the doctor initially diagnosed that your Grandmother was 'oil exhausted and lamp dry,' with nothing significant to diagnose. And this cough was just a superficial symptom; her body was already a mess inside. However, later, your Mother pleaded persistently, and he made a more thorough diagnosis. It was then discovered that although your Grandmother's body was in an extremely bad state, there was a trace of vital energy nourishing her. However, this vital energy was too little to sustain your Grandmother's life. The doctor said it was probably because your Grandmother had been eating something good like ginseng recently?"

Everyone was stunned. Ginseng? How could the family afford such a thing?