"It's rather rude to say that about me to my face, sir."
The Sorting Hat immediately opened its mouth wide and complained.
"It's actually alive? Is it an alchemical creation?"
"No, I have always considered myself a miracle."
Amon shrugged. "All right, Mr. Miracle, please hurry up and tell me which house I should go to. Being stared at by so many eyes isn't a particularly pleasant experience."
"Very well, as you wish."
The Sorting Hat closed its eyes and pondered for half a minute. "Strange. I can't read your thoughts at all."
Amon grinned. "So that's how you sort people? Hmm, try looking again now."
A few seconds later, the Sorting Hat practically sprang off Amon's head, shouting in terror, "Azkaban! Azkaban!!! Good heavens, only Azkaban is suitable for you!!"
"???"
After a brief moment of surprise, everyone erupted into discussion, their gazes changing as they looked at Amon.
The chicken leg in Ron's hand fell to the floor. "Did I just hear that wrong? Did the Sorting Hat say Azkaban?"
Harry was utterly astonished too. After reuniting with Sirius, he had of course long since heard of the most terrifying place in the Wizarding World. The prisoners there were all the most fearsome serious offenders, and most of them had hands stained with blood.
But the Sorting Hat had actually told a new student to go to Azkaban. That... was far too absurd! The Sorting Hat must have grown too old and shabby and started talking nonsense!
Dumbledore had only just sat down when he heard the Sorting Hat's terrified cries. Facing the puzzled looks of the three headmasters around him, his expression darkened slightly. "Mr. Sorting Hat, please stop joking."
"I wasn't..."
The Sorting Hat instinctively wanted to argue, but just then, new information came from the