Beat Him Up

Li Daoxuan stared into the Scenery Box, spending another entire day watching like a fool and ordering takeout whenever he got hungry.

Just like that, evening arrived.

Outside his window, Shuangqing City was bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun. Strangely, the scenery inside the Scenery Box had also shifted to sunset. His fluorescent light was on, shining onto the box, and its light should have passed through the glass. Yet none of it actually entered the Scenery Box, where the sky grew steadily darker.

There were so many strange things about this box that Li Daoxuan had stopped complaining about trivial matters like lighting.

He was getting a little worried about Gao Chuwu and the other three young villagers. They had set off for the county seat early that morning and still hadn't returned. Had something happened to them out there?

It felt like keeping a yard full of kittens, only for four mischievous ones to run out of the house and disappear somewhere. As their owner, he couldn't help worrying whether they would make it home safely.

Just then, five tiny figures suddenly appeared at the edge of the Scenery Box.

Li Daoxuan perked up. "Great! They made it back safely."

Sure enough, Gao Chuwu and his companions had returned.

San Shier, the secretary they had knocked unconscious, had woken up halfway through the journey. After that, the four "fierce and menacing" villagers had marched him along under guard, carrying their big wooden clubs.

San Shier didn't dare resist. Sneaking glances at the four, he realized they were all simple-minded sorts who couldn't be reasoned with. Talking too much might even earn him another beating, so he kept his mouth shut and obediently followed them all the way to Gao Family Village.

Walking more than thirty li was no easy feat for a secretary unaccustomed to physical exertion. On top of that, he hadn't eaten all day. By the time he reached Gao Family Village, he was utterly exhausted and could barely catch his breath.

As soon as they entered the village, San Shier collapsed onto the ground. "We've finally reached Gao Family Village. Brave fellows, what exactly did you bring me here for? Surely you can tell me now? This is what they call [the dagger revealed when the map is unrolled]."

Gao Chuwu said, "You three, keep an eye on the secretary. I'll go get Yiye."

He took off toward Gao Yiye's house, hoping to notify the Heavenly Deity through her.

But Li Daoxuan had already seen their group and hardly needed a message. Looking toward Gao Yiye's house, he called, "Yiye, Yiye..."

Gao Yiye had just finished dinner and was mending her tattered clothes inside. At the sound of the Heavenly Deity's voice, she jolted, sprang up from her broken stool, then dropped to her knees with a thump and prostrated herself. "What are your commands, Heavenly Deity?"

Li Daoxuan said, "Gao Chuwu brought back someone who looks somewhat educated. Come help me ask him a few questions."

Gao Yiye understood. "I shall obey your commands, Heavenly Deity."

Li Daoxuan said, "All right, hurry along. Gao Chuwu is about to reach your door."

Gao Yiye got up and pulled the door open.

At the very moment she opened it, Gao Chuwu was raising his hand to knock outside. The door creaked inward, leaving his raised hand frozen in midair. "Huh? Yiye? How did you know..."

Gao Yiye said, "The Heavenly Deity said you were back and had brought an educated man with you."

Gao Chuwu glanced up at the sky with awe in his eyes.

Gao Yiye ran toward the village entrance as fast as she could. By then, quite a few villagers had heard the news. The village was only so big, after all. Several households could see what was happening at the entrance through their windows, and a few shouts brought everyone outside.

All forty-two villagers, men and women, old and young, gathered in front of San Shier.

The sun was nearly down now. Its slanting golden rays stretched the village's shadows out at an angle. The entire village stood in the evening light, silently watching San Shier. The scene was rather eerie.

San Shier immediately felt an overwhelming pressure. He was terrified. Before the villagers could speak, he hurried to say, "Please don't misunderstand, everyone! Don't misunderstand! I'm absolutely not the one forcing you to pay taxes. I swear to Heaven, I spoke up for you! I advised the County Magistrate not to collect taxes, and he threw me out of the county office. Really, I swear that's what happened! Don't beat me. If you have any grievances, take them up with the County Magistrate... This is what they call [distinguishing kindness from grievances]."

The villagers parted to either side, and Gao Yiye stepped forward to stand at the front, facing San Shier.

Now that she had taken center stage, San Shier's gaze naturally fell on her, and he wondered what was going on. What's with this village? Usually, a respected old village chief does the talking. Why is a young girl speaking for this one?

Gao Yiye tilted her head to listen to the voice from the sky, then asked solemnly, "Who are you? What position do you currently hold? How much have you studied? How much of the world have you seen?"

San Shier perked up. "My surname is San. Since I was born on the second day of the tenth month, I was named San Shier. I serve as secretary to the County Magistrate of Chengcheng County, Shaanxi Province... Ahem... I formerly served in that position. I've now been dismissed. I spent ten years studying diligently and have traveled far and wide. This is what they call [a wealth of literary talent]."

To Li Daoxuan, the man's speech had sounded fairly normal at first. But when he reached the final phrase, he suddenly raised his voice, pulled an exaggerated expression, and struck a show-off pose. It was so comical that Li Daoxuan couldn't help being amused. "Yiye, ask him what year and month it is."

Gao Yiye perked up and hurriedly relayed the Heavenly Deity's words.

The question left San Shier momentarily stunned. They're asking me what year and month it is? What's wrong with these villagers? I've heard that country folk can go years without leaving their villages and know nothing of the outside world. That does happen, but why are they asking this?

Puzzled as he was, he didn't dare leave the question unanswered.

San Shier straightened his expression and said solemnly, "It is currently the seventh month of the Tianqi Seventh Year. This is what they call... Uh... Oh no, I can't sum that up with an idiom."

He clutched his head in both hands, looking anguished, as though being unable to sum up a sentence caused him unbearable suffering.

Everyone: "..."

His ridiculous behavior left the villagers unsure whether to laugh or cry.

But Li Daoxuan didn't laugh. Instead, he froze completely. As a longtime regular on the History and Military Forum, he was quite familiar with the date "Tianqi Seventh Year."

That was an actual era designation from the Great Ming!

That year, the Tianqi Emperor Zhu Youxiao died of illness, and the Chongzhen Emperor Zhu Youjian ascended the throne. A severe drought gripped the land, the peasant rebellions of the late Ming were about to erupt, and the Great Ming was about to enter its final decade or so of struggle.

What was going on? Was what I saw through the Scenery Box actually a real historical dynasty?

No, no, no. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Just a coincidental era name.

Li Daoxuan said in a low voice, "Yiye, ask him the current emperor's name."

Yiye hurriedly asked.

When asked for the emperor's personal name, San Shier grew solemn. "I dare not utter the reigning sovereign's personal name. This is what they call [honoring the ruler and benefiting the people]."

Li Daoxuan said, "Beat him up."