Construction of the Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable's temple was proceeding with drums pounding and gongs ringing.
After witnessing the Heavenly Venerable toy with the government soldiers, the newly arrived villagers had been profoundly shaken. Almost in the blink of an eye, they had become fanatical devotees of the Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable Religion.
Once people became fanatics, they worked for their faith as though their lives depended on it. They did not even have homes of their own to live in, yet they mustered every ounce of strength they had to build the Heavenly Venerable's temple.
The whole of Gao Family Village bustled with feverish activity.
That atmosphere had lasted six straight days. Today was already the seventh.
Noon.
The sunlight was vicious!
The temperature had begun climbing toward forty degrees again.
Li Daoxuan had just moved his face over the box to check on the little people's lives that day when he heard Gao Yiye shout from below, "Heavenly Venerable, the two uncles making the statues would like to speak with you."
"Let them speak." Li Daoxuan thought, Here it comes! The thing I wanted is ready.
Sure enough, the two sculptors walked over. They first knelt respectfully and kowtowed, then reported, "Heavenly Venerable, the clay statue we made of you and the wooden statue of the Victorious Fighting Buddha you asked us to make are both finished. They are ready to be painted."
"Very good." Li Daoxuan had been waiting for this day, and he had long since prepared everything on his end. He took out a small piece of aluminum foil, placed it inside the box, and spread it flat before the two sculptors. Then, using a drinking straw he had prepared beforehand, he drew up a tiny amount of red paint and dripped it onto the foil.
He dropped only a single bead of paint less than five millimeters across, but to the two sculptors, it was a ball of paint three inches in diameter. It landed on the "aluminum plate" and splattered flat with a plop, making a rather frightening commotion.
The two sculptors cautiously approached the puddle of paint, dipped little sticks into it, and sniffed the red paint. "So this is what divine paint from heaven is like! It is far better than the paint we have in the mortal world."
The paint used during the Ming Dynasty was called lacquer, a natural coating made by processing sap from lacquer trees with pigments and other ingredients. Although it was already quite close to modern paint, it still peeled easily and lacked shine. Thus, after painting, people often applied a layer of tung oil to protect the coating and enhance its gloss.
The modern paint Li Daoxuan gave them, however, was a high-quality product made possible by the introduction of polymer compounds in the twentieth century. Did that description sound incredibly impressive? Yet it cost only fifteen yuan for a small can! Not only did it adhere more strongly, but its colors were also more vivid and its gloss higher. Once applied, it shone like the forehead of a greasy middle-aged man without needing an extra coat of tung oil, utterly crushing Ming Dynasty lacquer in every respect.
After just a couple of glances, the two sculptors were certain this was divine paint found only in heaven.
"You have red now! Next, I'll give you green, blue..."
Li Daoxuan gave them one drop of each color, which was more or less enough.
When he had first started giving things to the little people, he had not known how to judge the quantities. He had pulled ridiculous stunts like giving them an entire egg, wasting enormous amounts of resources. Now, however, he knew how to control the quantities and conserve resources.
The two sculptors could not help growing excited at the sight of paint in every color they could want. In the past, their trade had offered only three to five dull colors of lacquer. When had they ever had such a rich selection?
Gold paint in particular was so precious that someone sent by the master personally guarded it. Whenever they needed some, that person would bring it out and watch them use it. They would never have been handed this much outright.
The Heavenly Venerable really is generous, giving us so much gold paint.
Now we can let our talents run free.
They picked up their brushes, dipped them in paint, and began painting the wooden blank of Sun Wukong's Supreme Treasure incarnation, thoroughly enjoying their work.
Li Daoxuan did not disturb them. His gaze shifted to the workers nearby, who were building the temple beneath the blazing midday sun.
The moment he looked over, he saw a villager carrying a stone stumble and nearly fall. Someone beside him hurriedly caught him. The villager put down the stone, pressed a hand to his forehead, and sank into a sitting position with his companion's help. Something seemed wrong.
"Heatstroke?"
Li Daoxuan immediately realized what had happened.
It was the height of summer in July, at noon during a severe drought. The temperature was extremely high, yet the villagers were working beneath the scorching sun. Heatstroke was hardly surprising. In fact, it was a miracle that three days had passed before anyone succumbed. How had these people endured the previous two days?
San Shier came over too and hurriedly directed the villagers to fetch water from the pond. A crowd milled around the little man suffering from heatstroke.
Li Daoxuan began to feel sorry for his little people.
What should I do?
Was there even any question?
He strode over to the refrigerator, pulled open the freezer door, and took out a tray of ice.
There were a few tiny ice chips along the edge of the tray. He picked one up with his fingertip and placed it before the villager with heatstroke.
At that moment, a large crowd of little people was anxiously gathered around the stricken man. Someone had brought a bucket of water from the pond and was soaking a scrap of cloth in it, intending to cool him with the wet cloth. Suddenly, a huge block of ice descended from heaven. The villagers froze for a moment, then immediately understood. "The Heavenly Venerable has granted us ice!"
Someone hurriedly laid the wet cloth on the ice. Once the whole cloth was chilled, they placed it on the stricken villager's forehead.
Someone else chipped a small piece off the ice, put it in a bowl of water, and then fed the cold water to the man with heatstroke.
After quite a bit of fussing, the man finally began to improve.
Li Daoxuan relaxed as well. Now that the man with heatstroke was safe, it was time to prevent the other villagers from suffering the same fate.
He chipped a small piece off the ice and placed it in a mineral-water bottle cap. Then he opened a bottle of cola and poured some into the cap.
Ta-da!
A miniature serving of iced cola was complete.
Returning to the Scenery Box, he slowly lowered the cap brimming with iced cola in front of the little people.
The villagers stared blankly at a large pool of strange brown water bubbling away. In its center stood a block of ice nearly as tall as a person. The entire pool radiated an icy chill. Just standing beside it, they could feel the refreshing coolness reaching deep into their hearts.
"What is this?"
"I've never seen it before."
"I can smell something sweet. There's sugar in it."
"Sugar!"
"But it's making strange bubbles. Could it be poisonous?"
"When has the Heavenly Venerable ever poisoned us? Calling it poisonous is disrespectful to His Venerable Eminence."
"Someone beat this bastard to death!"
"Don't... I was wrong... I didn't mean it..."
The villagers erupted into a commotion, temporarily forgetting even their brother with heatstroke.
"Stop making a fuss, and don't hit anyone," Gao Yiye said. "The Heavenly Venerable says this is called Happy Fat Otaku Water. Drinking it can relieve the summer heat."
Delighted, the villagers hurried to the edge of the "pool," scooped cola into their cupped hands, and poured it into their mouths.
"Ah!"
"Cough, cough, cough!"
"It really catches in your throat, but somehow, it feels amazing."
"I feel so happy."
"No wonder it's called Happy Fat Otaku Water. I understand 'happy,' but not 'fat otaku.' What exactly do those words mean?"
Everyone looked expectantly at San Shier, waiting to hear what this learned man would say.
San Shier gave a little snort. "'Fat' means plump, but it can also mean large. 'Otaku' refers to a home. Put the two together, and they mean a large household. Thus, Happy Fat Otaku Water is water that can make every person in an entire large household happy. Do you understand now? Such are the mysteries of the immortal realm."
Understanding dawned on the villagers. "The Third Secretary really is learned."
San Shier laughed heartily, brought over a large teacup, scooped up a brimming cupful from the pool, and gulped it down in one go. His eyes immediately narrowed. Cough, cough, cough, urgh, burp. The taste really packed a punch, but it felt so good. So happy.
The villager lying on the ground with heatstroke voiced a feeble protest. "Why... is nobody... looking after me anymore?"
The villagers said, "Huh? Hurry and give him a cup too."
"Stop!" Gao Yiye shouted. "The Heavenly Venerable says people suffering from heatstroke should not drink Happy Fat Otaku Water. They should drink ordinary water first and only enjoy the happy water after their condition improves."
The villager with heatstroke said, "Am I... not worthy... of receiving... the Heavenly Venerable's blessing...?"
His head lolled to one side...
"Brother, don't die! Don't die!"
Several villagers hurriedly crouched down and discovered that he was playing dead. They burst out laughing again. "Looks like this fellow's spirits have recovered. He even has the energy to play dead. Prop him up and give him a little sip of Happy Fat Otaku Water..."
"Hahaha... burp... so... happy..."
Before you continue