Playing house

On the eighth day of the eighth month in the Tianqi Seventh Year, the temple of the Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable was completed.

Actually, the temple had been finished two days earlier, but San Shier, Third Madam, Gao Yiye, and the village chief had put their heads together and decided that the eighth day of the eighth month was the auspicious date. So even though it was finished, they insisted on calling it unfinished and dragging things out until then.

And so, on the eighth day of the eighth month, all hundred-odd villagers changed into clean clothes and formed orderly ranks, like several classes of students lining up for a flag-raising ceremony.

Once again, Gao Yiye took center stage. Dressed in unbearably hot white robes and wearing heavy makeup, she knelt before the "Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable Cave."

It was clearly a temple, yet they insisted on calling it a cave.

Without the slightest exaggeration, the Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable Cave was the most luxurious, imposing, and upscale building in Gao Family Village. They had actually laid a foundation for it, built the lower half from handsome stones, and fashioned the upper half with fine carpentry.

Li Daoxuan had supplied modern paint, whose vivid colors and smooth, glossy finish made the whole building exceptionally eye-catching. On a battlefield, it would definitely attract some loving attention from archers.

The statue of the Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable inside was carved with lifelike detail. Aside from being 32% more handsome and 320% more majestic than the real person, there was nothing wrong with it.

Looking at his Daoist Temple from outside the box, Li Daoxuan was sorely tempted to reach in, dig it out, and take it to Cai Xinzi to get a good appraisal and sell it.

But seeing the little people worshipping it with faces full of reverence, he decided to forget it and be a decent human being.

Gao Yiye began reciting the prayers again. Last time, she had stumbled over them, but this time they flowed much more smoothly. Lately, she had been learning to read and write from Third Madam and memorizing the prayers every day. Though she could not yet recite them as smoothly as rolling a ripe melon, she was no longer likely to make any major mistakes.

After finishing her lines, Gao Yiye waved a hand. "Ring the bell!"

Beside her, Gao Chuwu swung a heavy hammer. Clang! Clang! Clang!

A mellow peal rang out-a proper bell tone, lingering and far-reaching, with a hint of sacred solemnity.

It seemed that the two blacksmiths, Li Da and Gao Yiyi, had forged a fine new bell.

Li Daoxuan could not help chuckling to himself. I told you to make iron armor. It's been over half a month, and I haven't seen a single suit yet, but you've gone and made a fine bell first.

Now he understood just how far apart the plane where orders were issued and the plane where they were actually carried out could be. Even if he watched this box every day, unless he specifically kept an eye on the two blacksmiths, their progress would end up on a completely different wavelength from his expectations.

Once the ceremony was over, the Dao Xuan Heavenly Venerable Cave was officially open for business.

The villagers began entering the cave in turn, kneeling before the Heavenly Venerable Statue and kowtowing with loud thuds. Naturally, after kowtowing, they made wishes.

Li Daoxuan brought his magnifying glass up to the window and peered inside.

A villager knelt before the Heavenly Venerable Statue and performed five resounding kowtows in a row.

"Please bless us, Heavenly Venerable, with favorable winds and timely rain next year, and a bountiful harvest of all five grains."

Li Daoxuan thought, I was going to grant that wish for you anyway. With me supplying water every day, Gao Family Village won't suffer drought even if the whole world dries up.

Feeling mischievous, he said to Gao Yiye, "Yiye, tell him I've graciously granted his wish."

Standing beside the statue, Gao Yiye hastily assumed a dignified air and told the villager, "Rise! The Heavenly Venerable has graciously granted the wish you just made."

The villager froze, then rejoiced. "Really? He really granted it?"

Gao Yiye said, "The Heavenly Venerable personally granted it just now."

Wild with joy, the villager ran toward the temple entrance. After only two steps, he suddenly remembered that he had neglected the proper courtesies and broke into a frightened sweat. He came back, thumped his head on the ground several more times before the sacred statue, then ran out again, shouting, "The Heavenly Venerable granted it! We can grow crops next year! Hahaha, the Heavenly Venerable granted it! Three years of drought! Three whole years! Do you know how I've survived these three years? Hahaha! We can finally grow crops next year!"

Third Madam sprang out from the side, caught the villager, and scolded him. "If you really do plant crops and bring in a harvest next year, don't forget to fulfill your vow."

The villager hurriedly replied, "Of course I will."

Seeing this, the villagers behind him were all overjoyed. They lined up and took turns kowtowing and making wishes.

"Please bless me, Heavenly Venerable, so my fields yield a few more pecks of grain next year than in an ordinary year."

Li Daoxuan thought, What's so hard about that? I'll just arrange some chemical fertilizer for you.

"Yiye, tell him it's granted."

Gao Yiye relayed the message in a pompous tone. The villager froze, then rejoiced. After kowtowing, he ran out of the temple and stood in the village, laughing wildly. "Hahaha! Wonderful! It's granted! My wish was granted too... Hahaha..."

The next to appear was actually San Shier. He had even followed the villagers' example and queued up to approach the Heavenly Venerable Statue. Kneeling properly, he kowtowed. "Please bestow your blessings, Heavenly Venerable. I'd like that thing down below to grow a little bigger and last a little longer, so I can be [as vigorous as a dragon and as fierce as a tiger] from now on."

Li Daoxuan said, "What the hell? Tell him to get lost right now!"

Gao Yiye froze, then told San Shier awkwardly, "The Heavenly Venerable is angry. He says to get lost right now."

San Shier covered his head and scurried away like a rat.

The hundred-odd villagers, along with Li Daoxuan, were having a wonderful time...

Suddenly, the two sentries stationed on the city wall struck the two large bamboo tubes hanging above the city gate, producing hollow knocking sounds. Then they began shouting, "Oh no! Someone's coming! People are coming from outside! There are lots of them!"

At their shouts, everyone in the village immediately ran toward the city wall.

Li Daoxuan had been amusing himself with the villagers, but at the noise, he straightened up and looked beyond the village.

However, something interesting happened.

His field of view covered only an area of 500 by 300 meters, barely encompassing Gao Family Village and the surrounding ring of fields. But standing on the city wall and looking out horizontally, the villagers could see several li away. So even though they had already begun sounding the alarm, Li Daoxuan still could not see anyone entering the box.

"Damn it! This is so inconvenient."

Li Daoxuan could not help cursing again. "How the hell am I supposed to expand this damned field of view?"

By now, the village had begun descending into chaos.

Without any "organization level," the villagers were a heap of loose sand. Faced with an unexpected situation, none of them knew what to do.

San Shier, who had just scurried away with his head covered, suddenly regained his spirit. He climbed onto the city wall, took one look into the distance, and immediately began shouting orders. "Anyone with a weapon, grab it! Anyone without one, grab pot lids, brooms, mops, sickles, hoes... Whatever you've got, take it! Everyone, get up on the wall!"

The villagers had been darting about like headless flies. Now that someone had stepped forward to command them, they immediately obeyed without thinking, not even caring who was giving the orders. They grabbed all manner of assorted "weapons" and climbed onto the city wall.