The Otherworld's Ultimate Landlord
Chapter 32

Even the Bathroom Can Be a Place to Show Off

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"Lord Tang, do you really take us for pigs? If we sell ourselves to the Tang household, you'll pocket our wages too. What a clever scheme," Tang Jun sneered.

"You won't believe anything I say right now. Why don't you bring your people to my Su Mei Island and take a look first? If you aren't satisfied, you can go back to your prison. I won't stop you," Tang Wen said.

"That's your territory. Once we go there, we won't be able to come back.

"If we resist, we might even lose our lives.

"Then you could make up any excuse and say pirates killed us. Wouldn't we have died unjustly?" Tang Jun said.

"Where's the courage you showed when you surrounded the Li family's old residence? There are hundreds of you, and you can bring witnesses along.

"Could we kill every last one of you in broad daylight?

"Even if I hold a noble title, would I dare kill hundreds of people?

"The authorities of Great Chu may handle some matters poorly, but they aren't so muddleheaded as that.

"Besides, I'm only buying servants. With money in hand, why would I worry about finding any?

"Why would I take such a risk over you?

"You aren't treasures of gold and jade. Tang Jun, you think far too highly of yourself." Tang Wen rose with a sneer.

"We can bring other people as witnesses?" Tang Jun asked.

"Of course. Bring anyone you like," Tang Wen said.

"All right. I'll take my brothers and sisters along with you," Tang Jun said with a nod.

"Rest assured, even if you refuse, I'll give you a full meal before you go back. I certainly won't stop you," Tang Wen said.

"Can I leave now?" Tang Jun asked.

"Yes. Once you're out, contact the artisans of the Thousand-Leaf Workshop right away. We'll leave for Su Mei Island tomorrow morning," Tang Wen said with a nod.

"All right. I'll come find you then." Tang Jun nodded and followed Tang Wen straight out.

Naturally, they had to complete some paperwork. With Tang Wen standing surety, Yang Yun raised no objection and allowed him to take Tang Jun out temporarily.

"Let's each get on with our own business. Come find me when you're ready." Tang Wen gave him his contact address.

"Aren't you afraid I'll run away?" After walking a few steps, Tang Jun suddenly turned and asked.

"Following me would be your good fortune. If you insist on throwing that fortune away and running,

"you'll become a wanted fugitive, fleeing in every direction and living worse than a dog.

"All I'll suffer is a fine from the authorities. You'll be the one losing out, not this lord," Tang Wen said calmly.

Tang Jun studied Tang Wen intently for a few moments, then strode away.

"Master, that Tang Wen met Li Dawang at the River-View Tower this morning. This afternoon, he went to the prison and actually stood surety to get Tang Jun released." A thin man slipped quietly into the Fang family compound. His name was Sun Fei.

The master of this place was Fang Qiang, one of the leading gentry of Yanling Commandery. Sun Fei was the head guard Fang Qiang had hired.

"What's he trying to do?" Fang Qiang asked, his face hardening.

"I couldn't get into the prison, so I don't know what they discussed. It certainly wasn't anything good." Sun Fei shook his head.

"That brat seems intent on ruining our plans. His servant Qiao Xiao is already locked up. Why don't we go to Kang Qingfeng again and have the man surnamed Tang thrown in as well?" Luo Qing, the steward, said viciously.

"He's different. He holds a noble title.

"He may only be a lowly Third-Rank Baron, but he's still a noble of the Chu Kingdom.

"Without absolute certainty, the authorities won't move against him lightly," Fang Qiang said, shaking his head.

"The authorities might not dare, but what wouldn't the Six Fan Gate dare do? Never mind a mere Third-Rank Baron-even the provincial governor would be arrested if he committed an offense," Luo Qing said.

"Let's wait a little longer. If there's no other way, we can approach Kang Qingfeng again.

"He arrested Qiao Xiao because he owed our Fang family a favor from years ago. Once Qiao Xiao was arrested, that debt was settled.

"It won't be so easy to ask him again.

"Unless we have evidence, or something else," Fang Qiang said.

"Doesn't Kang Qingfeng like silver?" Luo Qing snorted.

"Who doesn't? But a little silver won't satisfy someone like Kang Qingfeng.

"If he demands twenty or thirty thousand taels, what would be the point of driving down the Thousand-Leaf Workshop's price?

"We'd end up owing Kang Qingfeng a favor as well. It wouldn't be worth it," Fang Qiang said, shaking his head.

Tang Jun proved unexpectedly efficient. By evening, he had come to find Tang Wen, saying everyone was assembled and even urging him to travel through the night.

Tang Wen was more than happy to oblige, so they set off for Su Mei Island that very night.

"He's gone back to Su Mei Island? What exactly is that brat trying to do?" After receiving the news from his subordinate Lin Xiong, another buyer, Liu Hesen, was equally baffled.

"How would I know?" Lin Xiong shook his head.

"Never mind. It's just as well he's gone back. That makes things easier for us." Liu Hesen waved a hand.

Su Mei Island was seventy or eighty li from Yanling City, a half-day's journey on foot.

The artisans all walked at a brisk pace, however, and arrived at half past two in the morning.

Tang Wen had already sent Bu Feng galloping ahead to switch on all the electric lights, so when the hundreds of people reached the camp,

the brilliant lights left every one of them dumbstruck.

They rubbed their eyes furiously, wondering whether they were dreaming. Even Tang Jun stood dazed for several minutes.

"Look! So many night-shining pearls!"

"This Master Tang really is rich."

"Are night-shining pearls that bright?"

"What else could they be?"

As they approached the fortified camp, they saw imposing patrols carrying swords and sabers, barbed wire outside, and guards armed with bows and crossbows in the watchtowers.

They were even more dumbfounded, their mouths hanging open and drool spilling out.

"The master has returned! Open the gates!" Ge Ziyun called. The gates promptly creaked open.

"Master, you're back." Zhan Junru and Gu Hanyan came forward to welcome him.

"Junru, notify the kitchen right away. Have them light the fires and prepare a meal," Tang Wen said.

"All right. I'll wake Mother at once." Zhan Junru nodded and hurried away.

Before long, lights came on in the tents, and a dozen or so women rushed into the kitchen and got to work.

"Dongwen, they've walked a long way and sweated plenty. Everyone's tired and dirty. Give each person a towel and have Tang Jun lead them to the restroom to wash their faces and wipe off their sweat," Tang Wen instructed.

Dongwen nodded, discussed it briefly with Tang Jun, and began organizing everything in an orderly fashion.

When they entered the Public Restroom built from alloy sheet metal and saw neat rows of porcelain washbasins and even a large mirror, they were stunned all over again.

"This is called a faucet. Turn it one way to open it, then turn it the other way to close it." Zhan Dongwen and the others receiving them taught these people of the ancient world step by step.

"Brother Zhan, why don't I see a latrine pit? Where are we supposed to shit?" Tang Jun asked, looking around.

"Exactly. There's no latrine pit and no bamboo strips either. How are we supposed to wipe our arses afterward?"

People of the Chu Kingdom generally used thin bamboo strips about a finger's width when visiting the latrine. After defecating, they scraped themselves with these bamboo blades, which naturally never cleaned them properly.

But paper was too expensive. Who could afford to use it?

Only the wealthy wiped with paper or cloth.

"Everyone, look here. This is called a Squat Toilet. It's really just like our old latrine pits.

"After you finish, press here, and water will flush it away.

"Use this straw paper to wipe your arse. It works well...

"And you can urinate here. Just go directly into it. The water keeps flowing, so it won't stink." Zhan Dongwen and his companions became teachers of piss and shit.

"It doesn't stink here at all. It actually smells lovely. How can piss and shit smell lovely?" someone asked.

"Master Tang had incense placed here," Zhan Dongwen said.

"Incense even in the latrine? Only rich households do that. How much must it cost for a latrine this big?"

"Master Tang wants everyone to live happily. He doesn't put money first."

"Where does all this water come from? Underground?"

"There are pipes bringing it down. And this is only the public restroom. There's a dining hall and a bathhouse too, and those are even bigger..."

The crowd had a hundred thousand questions, and Zhan Dongwen and the others served as their guides.

Of course, Tang Wen had deliberately arranged all of this.

His aim was to show these people how comfortable life in the Tang household was, so they would willingly join it.

The restroom soon bustled with activity as they queued to try everything out.

After using the toilets and washing their faces, they held out their towels to Zhan Dongwen.

"You don't need to return them. Master Tang said they're yours to keep," Zhan Dongwen said.

"Thank you, Master Tang!" Hundreds of people burst into cheers.

Usually, they wiped their faces with scraps of old cloth at best. When had they ever seen towels this good?

These were fine goods, made of soft fabric and so pleasant to use. They had to be worth a fair amount of silver.

Everyone carefully tucked their towels away. They would have something to boast about when they got home.

"Time to eat!" Zhan Junru called, and they were led into the dining hall.

Seeing the neatly arranged wooden tables with their gleaming paint, they all stared wide-eyed, hardly daring to sit down.

But when they saw the fragrant stir-fried shredded pork, pork-bone soup, and pearly white rice on the tables, they began swallowing furiously.

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