My esteemed sugar daddies:
As the title says, I find this very mysterious. This is a mysterious announcement. Lately, whenever I write, I keep feeling as though some mysterious force is controlling me. My mind frequently wanders while I type, and although I'm writing, I don't really feel in the zone. Then I wake up the next day, take a look, and feel like something's off.
What makes it mysterious is that although I really want to write, the moment I start, I feel completely lost, like my brain's gone a little blank. Then I want to write again when I'm at work the next day, but once I get home and sit down at the computer, I'm completely lost again.
Honestly, writing lately, especially going back to writing Cyberpunk, has been incredibly stressful. It's that time of the month for this author: the harder I try to write well, the less I can get out. When what I write gets criticized too much, I start wondering whether I should go back and revise the earlier stuff, and after a while, I get a little lost.
I feel like I've crowd-controlled myself, but I don't have Quicksilver, so I can't cleanse it. All I can do is stare at the screen and wait for the effect to wear off.
I sat in front of the computer all day today, not knowing what to write. I deleted what I did write. When I wrote more, it felt like filler; when I wrote less, it felt like an outline. When I wrote Marvel, I imagined myself getting flamed; when I wrote Cyberpunk, I imagined myself having run out of talent.
Actually, even this mysterious announcement is putting a lot of pressure on me. It feels like, I haven't really written anything, so