I couldn't sleep. Thinking about having to get up for work in a little while only made it worse.
Lately I've been writing really late, and I still have to work during the day. I feel completely hollowed out, and my thoughts are all over the place when I write. There's a lot I want to write, but I can't get it into any kind of order.
I've seen people say I'm getting more and more self-indulgent. Honestly, I feel pretty helpless about that. I'm not enjoying myself at all, actually. I'm miserable.
Besides, if you don't even enjoy what you're writing yourself, then what the hell are you writing it for? So I've always felt that the greatest talent for writing webnovels is actually having the same pleasure buttons as enough other people, rather than things like pacing or being able to churn out words. (Of course, that's just this flop of a writer's opinion. If you know better, pretend I never said anything.)
My brain was split into two parts. One was thinking about how satisfying all kinds of major events would be, while the other was thinking: If you're going to write a novel, then you have to think about how this world works in the places beyond your gaze.
For now, I think the first part hits the sweet spot for quite a few of you esteemed readers. The problem lies in the second part: I've always felt that there are things in this world that simply aren't satisfying, things you could even call miserable. It's like studying your heart out before the college entrance exam. Most people are miserable through it, and might even stay miserable after the exam is over, though at least they can enjoy themselves for two months afterward.
But some people