"Jiang Nian, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Does my hand count?"
"Get lost!"
Xu Qianqian snapped in embarrassment, "You're still messing around at a time like this? Hurry up and think of something!"
"Look, the first couple's already making out. Holy shit, there's a string of spit." Jiang Nian was stunned. "That uninhibited in public? They must be college students."
At his words, the two college couples ahead turned around.
Smack. Xu Qianqian slapped a hand over her face.
"For crying out loud, I told you to think of something, not provide live commentary."
"What I mean is, the theater gives you forty percent off for kissing. It never said it had to be a French kiss." Jiang Nian channeled Conan. "That first couple definitely has a special kink."
"Who asked you about that?!" Xu Qianqian was about to explode.
"Taking a step back, our lips just have to touch, right?" He looked at Xu Qianqian and slowly brought two fingers together to demonstrate. "Just like this."
"Blegh!"
"Blegh!"
They gagged simultaneously, wiping away nonexistent saliva.
Some things were fine with the lights off, or done in secret. But doing them in public, especially with an audience watching, made them gag just thinking about it.
"Do we really have to see this movie?" Xu Qianqian asked.
"I second that." Jiang Nian raised his hand. "Let's just go home. There's still watermelon in the fridge."
"No!" Xu Qianqian gritted her teeth and uttered that timeless saying. "We're already here! I've even bought the snacks. We can't just go home now!"
"Fine."
They exchanged a glance, then leaned closer to discuss it.
"No tongue," she said.
"No bringing it up against me later," he said.
They spoke in unison. "After today, we automatically delete the memory. Whoever brings it up is a dog."
Having reached an agreement, they calmly waited in line.
Xu Qianqian frowned. He'll definitely slip me the tongue, then deny it to his dying breath. I know him too well. I'd sooner trust a dog than Jiang Nian.
She'll definitely hold it against me later. One hundred percent. Jiang Nian looked down at the floor, mulling it over. Xu Qianqian is such a fickle woman.
Their eyes met again, and Xu Qianqian spoke first.
"Forty percent off. That'll save us over thirty yuan."
"Yeah, more than half the price of a ticket. Basically a freebie." Jiang Nian agreed. "Thirty yuan can buy a lot of snacks. It's like we're getting our snacks for free."
The two novices seemed to have reached an understanding, both wearing carefree expressions as though none of this mattered.
Xu Qianqian pressed her lips together. Ha, one little test and he gave himself away. Such an enthusiastic answer. He must really want to kiss me, the little virgin. He definitely wants to use his tongue!
Jiang Nian turned to look at the line behind them. Something's fishy here. Xu Qianqian's actually willing to kiss me to save thirty yuan? She's definitely ready to hold it over me later.
If she's going to hold it over me anyway, I might as well use my tongue. At least I'll get my money's worth.
He's definitely going to use his tongue, so I'll just hold it over him. Then I can threaten him into keeping his mouth shut, and even make him do chores.
Only one couple remained ahead of them. The pair kissed openly in front of the employee. The guy even seemed reluctant to stop, wiping the saliva off his mouth.
Already? Xu Qianqian froze!
All her mental preparation proved flimsier than a paper wall. She had planned to treat it like getting a kiss from a dog. But now it was really happening, right in front of everyone.
Granted, the couples' screening room was some distance from the regular crowd, and the people behind them were all young couples.
But that sort of thing...
Jiang Nian was panicking too, agonizing over whether to use his tongue. Before he could think it through, the employee's numb gaze fell on them.
Watching Jiang Nian draw closer, Xu Qianqian's mind went blank.
Click. The white cap of a jelly pouch was twisted off. The sound disappeared beneath the theater's booming speakers, while the surrounding light brightened and dimmed with the screen.
Slurp, slurp. The sound made Xu Qianqian's eyelid twitch.
Tickets for this National Day release had sold like crazy, and the theater was around sixty percent full. Looking down from their seats, nearly everyone in the auditorium was part of a young couple.
"This movie's pretty good." He turned to Xu Qianqian beside him.
The girl's lashes fluttered slightly as she ignored his gaze.
He started forcing conversation, but with little success. Xu Qianqian sat beside him watching the big screen with a perfectly serious, focused expression, apparently having forgotten what had just happened.
"So what are you trying to say?" She shot Jiang Nian a glare.
"This jelly's pretty good too. Nice and soft." No sooner had Jiang Nian spoken than Xu Qianqian's murderous glare shut him up. "..."
"Nothing. It was just kind of weird. Didn't you think so?" Jiang Nian leaned closer and whispered in her ear, his warm breath washing over it.
"I didn't feel anything. If you really want an answer, it's not like we never kissed as kids." Xu Qianqian tilted her head, the screen's sudden flare reflected in her pupils.
"It was a kiss on the cheek. What else can you do besides get spit all over my face..."
"Holy shit, Xu Qianqian, you really know how to kill the mood!" Jiang Nian was speechless, instantly losing interest in teasing her. "Still, they let us through even though it was obviously a kiss on the cheek. That employee really couldn't be bothered."
Jiang Nian remained somewhat listless until the movie ended.
He had watched the movie, technically. He hadn't remembered a thing.
When the post-credits scene ended, the auditorium lights suddenly came on, and they followed a large crowd of couples outside. Checking the time, they found it was eleven thirty. Both their phones had received calls.
After ten at night, the little county town's streets were usually deserted. At this hour, even passing cars were rare. The National Day holiday had kept the bustle going an extra hour.
Beside the shopping center, yellow streetlights shone through sparse leaves, casting mottled patches of light and shadow.
Jiang Nian held the electric scooter steady and called his mother back.
"Yeah, she's right next to me."
With that, he handed his phone to Xu Qianqian. "Here, say something to your grandma."
Xu Qianqian punched him, then took the phone and answered, "Mm-hmm, Auntie Li. We'll be back soon. Jiang Nian? Oh, no, he didn't go to an internet café."
Once the call ended, Jiang Nian patted the scooter's rear seat, looking as lazy and laid-back as ever.
"What are you standing there for? Hop on. We're going home."
"Oh."
The little scooter cut through the hot late-summer night breeze, heading along the county town's main road.
Jiang Nian rode somewhat distractedly. On second thought, this probably counted as a failed mission. Xu Qianqian hadn't seemed particularly happy, after all.
They stopped at an intersection, waiting for the red light to change.
"Xu Qianqian, did you have fun today?" He made one last desperate attempt, asking without turning around.
Behind him, Xu Qianqian grew a little flustered at the question, staring at the clean, straight back of his neck.
"Why are you asking?"
"No reason. Just asking," Jiang Nian said. "Checking in on my intellectually challenged friend to improve my moral character."
"No. What was there to enjoy? I'm not asking you next time."
With a ding, the system panel popped up.
[Mission: complete an enjoyable date with Xu Qianqian. Reward: RMB 30,000 (completed).]
(End of chapter)
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