This Was Life

At first light the next day, Chu Ge woke early after a restless night's sleep. Still groggy, he got up, washed, and sat down on the toilet.

There was no such thing as sitting on the toilet without playing on his phone...

Normally, he would have spent this time shooting the breeze with everyone in the "Friendly Fire" group, but he hadn't opened the chat in two days. He was on leave, after all... Opening it usually meant getting pestered for updates. Where was the fun in that?

His leave had only covered yesterday, though. Today, he had to post an update.

After a moment's hesitation, he simply opened the document app on his phone, synced over what he had written last night, and kept writing there. If he could get the chapter posted early this morning, he would have that weight off his shoulders.

As an author whose career was on the rise and who had hopes for his book's performance, he wanted to squeeze in some writing even on the toilet.

The big-name authors had it so easy. They could just leave a message saying, "No update tonight," and go play games...

Thinking about it, Chu Ge hadn't played games in two or three years. All those games they talked about-Genshin Impact, Naraka: Bladepoint-he hadn't played any of them, not even Honor of Kings. His memories were still stuck on World of Warcraft and DOTA...

It wasn't that he couldn't find time for a quick game or two. He was afraid that once he got hooked, it would eat up too much of his time and energy.

Chu Ge had plenty of self-control, though Zhang Qiren had even more. Chu Ge still watched DOTA matches and ranted about why they hadn't banned Magnus; Zhang Qiren did little more than hop between livestreams to look at girls in his spare moments. Yet Zhang Qiren had still bowed out in defeat, leaving Chu Ge wondering how much this so-called self-control really meant.

He sat on the toilet for a full half hour, until even his poop had dried out. At last, he finished the chapter and tapped publish.

Satisfied, Chu Ge cleaned himself up. After washing his hands, he even smoothed his hair. Hmm, even better-looking today. Wonder if Qiu Wuji's heart will flutter when she sees me?

But when he opened the bathroom door, he immediately spotted Qiu Wuji standing outside. She stared at him with apparent composure, yet embarrassment and irritation lurked unmistakably in her eyes, and her face had flushed slightly from holding it in.

"What are you standing here for?" Chu Ge asked in surprise.

Qiu Wuji: "..."

They stared at each other for a long moment before realization suddenly struck Chu Ge. "You need the toilet?"

Promise me fairies don't poop, okay?

Why does a big shot on the verge of ascension still need to do that? Oh, right, this body of hers is at the Qi Refining Stage... Looking closely, she even has sleep in the corners of her eyes... Right, she ate beef noodles last night. She needs to digest them...

Well, uh...

Unable to endure his staring any longer, Qiu Wuji squeezed a few words through her teeth. "Will you move already?"

"Um..." Chu Ge said cautiously. "The only towel and toothbrush in here are mine."

Holding in her urgent need to go, Qiu Wuji pressed her legs together awkwardly and managed to ask, "What is a toothbrush?"

"That thing." Chu Ge pointed to the toothbrush and cup on the sink and mimed brushing his teeth. "It's for cleaning your mouth, like dipping a willow twig in salt back where you're from. Uh, maybe you haven't done that in a few thousand years."

"You want to put something you've had in your mouth into mine?" Qiu Wuji snapped and grabbed Chu Ge by the collar.

"Holy shit..." Chu Ge went flying as though riding the clouds and crashed heavily onto the living room sofa. Now he was annoyed too. "I was just telling you I've used those, so I need to buy you new ones! Where's all this morning crankiness coming from?"

Qiu Wuji opened her mouth, another blush spreading across her face. In the end, she said nothing and slammed the bathroom door with a bang.

Chu Ge rolled off the sofa and got to his feet, feeling a headache coming on.

Annoyed as he was, he could understand her embarrassment and anger just then. But this was a pain in the ass for him too... Buying her a towel and toothbrush was easy enough. Then what?

Was she going to wear ancient-style robes forever? Did he need to buy her modern clothes?

If so, what about bras and panties?

And would she get her period? Would she need sanitary pads?

Holy fucking shit!

Having the heroine run out of his book sounded like fun, but once that initial sense of unreality faded, he realized how many practical matters he had to face. This was life, not a story.

Chu Ge left with a constipated expression. He could wait for the books to arrive in the mail, but daily necessities had to be bought now.

He felt as though his entire routine had been thrown into disarray. Normally, at this hour, he would have been reading the comments on his new chapter, checking feedback for inspiration, then chatting and joking with his readers and trading bullshit with the writers in his author group.

Instead, he wound up at the little supermarket by the entrance, buying a towel and toothbrush. He also picked out a plastic cup printed with a chibi cultivation character, then stood staring blankly in front of the women's underwear counter.

Under the supermarket clerk's gaze, which clearly marked him as a pervert, Chu Ge finally cracked. He grabbed his towel, toothbrush, and cup and fled.

At the entrance to his apartment complex, he remembered something else and bought soy milk and steamed buns from a roadside stall before taking everything upstairs.

When he returned to the rented apartment, Qiu Wuji was already out of the bathroom and sitting on the sofa in a daze. She hardly looked like a female sect leader who commanded the world. More and more, she resembled a stray cat.

Chu Ge couldn't even muster his anger. He handed her the things and said coldly, "Have something to eat."

Qiu Wuji accepted them, glanced at the chibi cultivation girl printed on the cup, then at the hot buns and soy milk. She pressed her lips together and lowered her eyes slightly.

Chu Ge sat beside her and started munching on a bun himself, speaking indistinctly as he ate. "My Qiu Wuji has always been a reasonable person. She doesn't use her strength to bully others. I think it's time we laid a few things out in the open..."

Qiu Wuji raised her head to look at him.

"You don't want your fate in someone else's hands. I understand and respect that, and I'm willing to cooperate. You want to learn about this world, and I feel responsible for helping you. You think I lust after you, and I won't deny it. That was part of what I had in mind when I wrote you, anyway." Chu Ge spoke calmly. "But that doesn't mean you can take beating me up for granted, living in my home, using my things, eating my food, then lashing out at me at the drop of a hat..."

He paused, set down his soy milk, and turned to look at Qiu Wuji. "In a sense, I gave you life. I'm not asking you to show me any reverence as your creator. But if I treat you with kindness, shouldn't you treat me the same way?"

Qiu Wuji pressed her lips together. She bore him goodwill too, but how could she put it... Some of her reactions were instinctive responses to this "pervert creator," nothing more than self-protection.

Put simply, she felt threatened.

After all, this was someone who could manipulate her thoughts and actions. He couldn't be treated like any other man.

But he had a point too... Qiu Wuji held her soy milk in silence for a long while before saying softly, "Perhaps my arrival has caused you trouble. It may even have disrupted your life."

"No. I told you, I'm really glad you came. Thank you." Chu Ge smiled. "We just need some time to adjust to each other. For instance... please start by trusting that, while some things I say might embarrass you, they're perfectly normal."

Qiu Wuji blinked. "For instance?"

"For instance, while it's perfectly normal to go out in traditional robes or hanfu these days, nobody does it all the time. Wearing ancient clothes everywhere you go makes you look like there's something wrong with you. So if you plan to stay here long-term, you'll have to wear modern clothes. And modern clothes include short sleeves and short skirts, along with the protective undergarments you need when wearing light, thin clothing. Would you consider that?"

Qiu Wuji looked bewildered. "What are those?"

Chu Ge opened his phone, casually searched for a lingerie ad, and tossed the phone to Qiu Wuji. "See for yourself."

With that, he went straight into his room to write.

Qiu Wuji stared at the woman on the phone, posing provocatively in a skimpy bra and panties, utterly dumbfounded.

(End of chapter)