It really was as good as the ghosts had claimed. Although he had shuddered twice when he first ate it, a refreshing coolness swept through him the next moment, leaving him clearheaded and invigorated.
That was only natural. It was a vast, boundless world, after all. There had to be a few things that were less extreme.
Gu Zhe opened his shop.
The Nether Jujube was good stuff. Even his dark circles had disappeared, and he felt energetic and full of life.
It certainly lived up to its reputation as a fine tonic for nourishing yin and strengthening the kidneys... er, strengthening the spirit.
It counted as the first tangible thing he had brought back from the Underworld that could affect the real world.
He ordered breakfast delivery first, then placed an online order for some specialty paper.
Next, Gu Zhe browsed the news while cutting paper. Now that he had mastered paper-cutting, he could even plan how to make his next spirit house as he worked.
"Hmm, this time, maybe I'll make a hotel or something!"
Snip, snip, snip!
One paper figure after another took shape and was set aside. All they needed were facial features dotted on, and they would become perfectly serviceable eerie paper figures.
"Gu Zhe, have you eaten? These are some steamed buns we made at home..."
"Huh? Gu Zhe, you look different today!"
Gu Zhe slowly turned to look at his next-door "childhood sweetheart."
"Did this old man get more handsome, or did he get more handsome?"
Liu Zhaodi blushed.
She remembered calling him an old man, even though Gu Zhe was only two or three years older than her.
Besides... how was he an old man? He was clearly so handsome. Now that he had tidied himself up, he had an inexplicably languid air, as though nothing could shake him, as though he had countless stories to tell.
At Gu Zhe's question,
Liu Zhaodi had initially wanted to give him a defiant snort. What, was he still holding a grudge?
But then she looked at his even more heart-fluttering features and that curious hint of fervor mixed into his laid-back air.
She could not help blushing and lowering her head.
She said softly,
"Yes, you've gotten more handsome!"
She was the very picture of a bashful young girl, flushed scarlet!
"Ahem..."
Gu Zhe was speechless. He coughed.
"Ahem, don't covet my good looks. Uh, no, I mean, don't get distracted by external things. Zhaodi, you're still a student. Have you mastered this week's advanced math? Are you confident about the College English Test Band 4? Are you joining any club activities? Have you practiced public speaking? And have you been doing your duty helping with the family business?"
At Gu Zhe's rambling remarks,
Liu Zhaodi snapped out of her bashfulness.
She did not believe Gu Zhe was the shameless wastrel her mother described, coasting through life on his family's shop. She always felt there was a deeper meaning to everything he said and did.
After all... he could clearly get by on his looks, yet he insisted on working hard himself. This man really made her heart ache.
He could have been sitting in a BMW making a wealthy woman in her thirties cry, yet he insisted on smiling in this Nether Offering shop instead. The more she looked at him, the more she wanted to cherish him.
"Gu Zhe, what kind of soup would you like? I'll go home and make it for you. Let me tell you, once a man turns twenty, he really has to start looking after his health!"
Ahem, I, Liu Zhaodi, am absolutely not coveting any handsome man.
This is purely heartfelt concern between neighbors.
"Oh, Zhaodi, how sweet of you. Making soup, are you? Personally, I think oxtail soup sounds pretty good..."
"Hmph!"
Liu Zhaodi could not even be bothered with him.
As the saying goes, your values shape your looks. With a face that sleazy, your values certainly can't be wholesome. And you think you deserve the same treatment as my Gu Zhe?
"Oh, Gu Zhe, your craftsmanship has improved!"
The sleazy middle-aged man from the urn shop came over too.
"Not bad. Just a few days ago, everything you cut was crooked. Who'd have thought you'd be making such decent pieces already?"
As he spoke, he studied Gu Zhe's face again.
A trace of nostalgia and resentment flashed through his eyes.
"Heh, you've got a tenth of my youthful good looks. I thought you were just a pretty boy living off your face, but it turns out you're a rising star in our funeral trade. Keep it up, brother. How could a real man let beauty lead him astray..."
Then he turned to glance at Liu Zhaodi.
"Brother, women will only slow down your paper-cutting. Besides, don't give up a whole forest for a single tree. You know what I mean."
"Ahem, Zhaodi, what do you think of a mature, dependable older man? One with a great career already on track, working to lay humanity to rest!"
Liu Zhaodi: ???
Liu Zhaodi glanced at his belly, which looked ten months pregnant, his shiny, platter-round face, and his sparse, stubborn strands of hair.
His kid was probably fairly grown already. She could sort of understand why his wife had kicked him out.
You think you qualify as a handsome older man? When you're ugly, you're just an old geezer.
"Get lost!"
"Right you are!"
Whether Gu Zhe really had a tenth of his good looks was debatable, but a tenth of his thick skin would certainly be impressive.
At that moment, Gu Zhe's attention was mostly elsewhere.
He was watching the day's headlines scroll across his phone.
A solemn look flashed through his eyes.
[International news: Thor Military Industries of the United States to enter the cold weapons industry, declaring that it is time to recapture the spirit of the past!] [International news: England announces the formation of a knightly order to uphold the glory of its forebears!] [International news: The Bright Pope delivers an address: all worship of nonhuman entities is heresy that must be eradicated!] [International news: The patriarch of the Sacred Fire Church reiterates that all greatness belongs to the one true Lord!] [International news: A major earthquake strikes Ang Town, France. Three thousand people remain unreachable. A French spokesperson states that communications and transportation links are being restored.]
That was the international news.
There was domestic news too.
[Dragon Country Military announces: army-wide military tournament begins!] [Blade restrictions benefit the nation and its people!] [Classes begin at the Supreme Academy of Sciences-keep your mind calm, and all disturbances will pass like a spring breeze across your face.] [Religious Association issues an appeal: honoring ancestors is acceptable; cult worship is not!] [Approaching Science: uncovering unknown secrets-a fox that has "gained sentience" actually wears clothes, and it is rather adorable.] [Dragon Country Daily: past or future, our Dragon Country will stand at the pinnacle of the world!]
Looking at these headlines,
Gu Zhe could not help sighing.
"A storm is brewing!"
"Oh, brother, you think so too? I reckon the world's running short of resources, and international disputes are about to flare up again."
"Yeah, our teachers said international flights are getting scarcer, and conflicts are breaking out all over!"
Gu Zhe frowned at the two of them.
What, are you planning to settle in here for tea?
I can tolerate a pretty girl, but since when did Old Zhang next door and I get so chummy?
After a moment's thought,
he picked up a paper figure.
He casually dotted on its eyes and nose.
Then he looked earnestly at Liu Zhaodi.
"Zhaodi, I've been grateful ever since you gave me that ice cream last time. I don't have much to give you, so here's a specialty from my shop... ahem, just a little token of appreciation."
Surely this will scare her off and give me some peace.
Even I find a gift like this creepy just thinking about it!
Sure enough,
Liu Zhaodi froze. Looking at the casually dotted eyes and nose on the paper figure, she shivered, and her face began to pale.
"Um, um..."
"Pfft! Brother, you've got character-a tenth of my flair. Zhaodi, when I have time, I'll buy you a real present. Heh, a man only gets appealing once he's mature..."
Liu Zhaodi might have been fine if she had not heard that.
After taking a look at his "mature appeal,"
she actually worked up the courage to take Gu Zhe's paper figure.
She lowered her head, murmured a thank-you, and ran home!
Even Gu Zhe was a little surprised.
Still, he had achieved his goal. Otherwise, having a girl constantly chattering beside him would have affected his concentration.
It was only a paper figure now, anyway.
A few quick snips were all it took to make one.
Old Zhang was speechless.
She even thanked him? Shouldn't she have given him a whopping slap?
Looking at Gu Zhe's handsome face, he really wanted to stomp on it a few times!
He turned and left. His pride could not take any more.
"So what if you're young? So what if you're handsome? This is downright unreasonable. Heh, women. Turns out they're all shallow suckers for a pretty face, young or old. Heh, women..."