The edge of his underwear

The Puji Chinese Medicine Clinic was three years shy of becoming a century-old establishment.

Sun Chang'an's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather had already been a practitioner of Chinese medicine. Their line had roamed the land and entered the imperial city, weathering upheaval after upheaval before finally choosing to put down roots here.

A healer had a compassionate heart. Sun Chang'an could teach at academic forums, but he could also be called out of bed to make a house call.

The pharmacist had not arrived for work yet. Sun Chang'an yawned as he used a small scale to measure out medicine for someone from the fool's household.

Feeling very apologetic, Auntie Zhou went out and bought him breakfast.

"Sorry for the trouble, doctor. That boy insisted on dragging me over to find you. I was worried something really might happen..."

"It's fine," Sun Chang'an said mildly. "Just pay the consultation fee in full."

Auntie Zhou was momentarily speechless. She settled the bill with the money Bai Congming had given her, then headed back carrying three jin of herbal medicine and a few medicated patches.

Perhaps because she was always hearing Little Bai say his mother lived in the bougainvillea, Auntie Zhou felt an inexplicable pang of guilt as she walked down this road today.

"He might be a man... but he's certainly good-looking, like someone straight out of a magazine!"

"You wanted him to get a wife because you wanted him to have a family, didn't you? If this one's reliable, a man would do too..."

"It's not as if having children would be easy with Little Bai's condition anyway. Nothing matters more than the two of them having a good life together, wouldn't you say..."

She muttered to herself the whole way, though there was no telling whom she was talking to.

Sunlight slanted into the room, and steam rose slowly from the bowl in Bai Congming's hands.

Auntie Zhou went over to look. It was a bowl of potato rice that looked terribly bland.

"Why are you eating this again? Didn't I teach you to add diced cured pork last time? Why didn't you put any in?"

Bai Congming narrowed his eyes. "Hard. Can't cut it!"

Auntie Zhou sighed. "But you can't just eat this..."

"It's good!" Bai Congming scooped up a spoonful and held it to Auntie Zhou's mouth. "Have some!"

Auntie Zhou moved away and turned to check on Ding Ding in bed.

His breathing was steady, and he did not seem feverish, but his face was far too pale and haggard. Together with his badly swollen ankle, he looked rather pitiful.

"For this medicine, boil three bowls of water down to one and have him drink it. If you don't know how, let him brew it himself when he wakes up."

Auntie Zhou took out a pen and paper and wrote down the steps for brewing the medicine. "Show him this when he wakes up. Understand?"

Bai Congming put down his bowl and carefully put the paper away. "Understood."

"And these." Auntie Zhou took out the medicated patches. "Clean the wound on his foot before you put the patch on."

Bai Congming nodded obediently. "Okay."

"He needs to go to the hospital when he wakes up. The doctor said his leg might be broken, so he needs to get it checked at the hospital. Otherwise, he might not be able to walk again."

Bai Congming looked blank. "Can't walk. Does it hurt?"

"Yes, enough to kill you!" Auntie Zhou frightened him. "Come find me before you go to the hospital. I'll give you some money."

Hearing that it would hurt terribly, Bai Congming turned down the corners of his mouth.

If only it did not hurt. Then he would not take Brother Ding to the hospital. If he could not walk, he would not disappear again.

"Have money." Bai Congming pointed at his piggy bank. "Little Bai has money."

"...Then come find me if you run out. I'll give you some."

The wages at the flower nursery were not high. After social insurance and other deductions, the take-home pay was only around twenty-three hundred.

Little Bai received even less. His mother had arranged it when she was still around: fifteen hundred each month went to Auntie Zhou to save for him, so he would have something to fall back on if anything serious happened.

Over the years, the account had accumulated fifty or sixty thousand. If nothing else, it was enough for minor illnesses and mishaps.

Little Bai did not waste money either. As soon as he was paid, he went to Granny Sun to pay his rent, keeping five hundred for his living expenses. Even so, he had managed to fill a piggy bank.

Sounds began coming from the neighbors' homes, and Auntie Zhou had to leave.

"Keep an eye on him yourself. Come get me if anything happens."

Bai Congming nodded and saw Auntie Zhou out, then returned to sit beside Ding Ding's bed with his bowl of potato rice.

Between the heavy load of carbs and a sleepless night, Bai Congming could barely keep his eyes open by the time he set down his bowl.

Forcing himself to wash until he smelled nice, Bai Congming lay down on the bed, reluctant to close his eyes.

Brother Ding was not in that place. If he left again this time, he would never be found.

A little sad, Bai Congming quietly hooked a finger around the edge of Ding Ding's underwear. Unbearable drowsiness pressed down on him, and he fell asleep just like that.

Ding Ding felt as though he were sinking.

The lake was quieter at night than during the day, so deathly still that even the wind would not linger. The omnipresent darkness swallowed everything alive here.

Death took only an instant, yet the wait for it was so long.

-So unfair.

Trapped in a mire, struggling was useless. Better to make up his mind and start everything over.

His ankle hurt badly. He had fallen while making his way to the lake in the dark. Perhaps it was sprained, perhaps broken. Ding Ding did not care.

He fumbled through the grass for a long time without finding the shoe he had lost in the fall, then gave up on that too.

A shard of glass had pierced the sole of his other foot. He pulled it out without a change of expression. Blood seemed to seep out, but he could not feel it.

At that moment, the lake's pull on him reached its peak. Forward, farther forward. Once he walked in, everything would become easier.

After finishing his last cigarette, Ding Ding stood and walked toward the center of the lake.

One step, two. The lake water pressed in on him from every direction.

The fishy stench made him nauseous. Ding Ding closed his eyes briefly, but paused when he tried to lift his leg again.

A filthy, battered one-yuan note with a corner missing floated on the water, right before Ding Ding's eyes.

His mind suddenly began to work. A ridiculous little piggy bank, and behind it, a foolishly smiling face.

Ding Ding thought he must be hallucinating. Otherwise, why would he be hearing that soft voice?

Calling him wifey, and calling him Brother Ding.

Ripples suddenly spread across the calm lake. The fishy stench vanished, replaced by a floral fragrance.

Gardenias, faint and sweet.

"..."

Ding Ding crawled out of the lake, lay on the ground and dry-heaved a few times, then slapped himself hard across the face twice.

He thought that perhaps he still had somewhere to go.

Bai Congming did not sleep very well.

Perhaps because he was worried about Ding Ding beside him, he would suddenly wake with a start in his sleep. But his body was too exhausted. After opening his eyes to make sure someone was beside him, he would unknowingly fall into a deep sleep again.

It was noon when he fully woke. The hour and minute hands formed a plump straight line on the clock face.

Releasing the edge of the underwear hooked around his index finger, Bai Congming edged closer, then pinched his nose and moved away when he caught an unpleasant smell.

He had bandaged the wound on Ding Ding's foot well. There were also some scrapes on his shoulders and arms that looked a little red and swollen.

Brother Ding's skin was so smooth. Seeing wounds on it was something to feel sad about.

Bai Congming thought he should put some medicine on him.

Bumps and scrapes were common when working at the flower nursery, and Bai Congming had a first-aid kit at home.

His mother had left it behind when she was still around. Living alone, he would just dab a little saliva on any injuries and leave them at that. He had never used it.

After digging the first-aid kit out of the wardrobe, Bai Congming felt a little troubled.

He could not make out all the words on the medicine boxes, so he could only take out a little bottle that looked very familiar.

Bai Congming still remembered how his mother used to apply this red liquid when he fell.

Copying what she had done, Bai Congming opened the bottle, poured a little into his palm, and gently pressed it against Ding Ding's scrapes.

The safflower oil smelled pungent. Bai Congming wrinkled his nose and rubbed the wounds hard a couple of times.

"Get better... soon!"

"..."