A heart hard to read

The visitor was Kushida.

The day after that incident, she had gotten Takahashi Ren's phone number in the name of making friends. Not long afterward, she had brought up compensation.

Kushida looked around his room, her gaze sweeping from the tidy desk to the simple bed. There were few belongings, but everything was neatly arranged, with nothing unnecessary.

She inwardly frowned. No wonder all her attempts to learn about Takahashi Ren through various channels over the past few days had yielded nothing but trivial information.

The person before her was just like the room he lived in: seemingly easy to read, yet without a single opening she could find.

"Tell me, what do you want as compensation?" Takahashi Ren got straight to the point.

"There's no rush." Kushida withdrew her gaze. "I want to talk to you first. Have you known Ayanokoji for a long time?"

"No. That was the first time we met," Takahashi Ren answered truthfully.

"Then why did you stop me? What happened between him and me had nothing to do with you."

"You were blinded by anger. You took things too far."

"Heh, do you have to stick your nose into everyone's business?" Kushida's tone grew a little sharper. "Who do you think you are? Some great hero?"

"I've never thought that." Takahashi Ren's voice remained calm. "I just happened to see it and did what little I could."

Ultimately, he and Ayanokoji had only met once. If the situation had spiraled completely out of control, he would have prioritized protecting himself.

Fortunately, Kushida had not entirely lost her reason. She could still be talked to.

"Because you interfered, I couldn't get anything to hold over him. If he really tells someone, how are you going to take responsibility?" Kushida continued to press him aggressively.

"I can only guarantee that I won't tell anyone. As for Ayanokoji, that's between you and him."

"Words alone aren't proof. I can't trust you." Kushida stared at him, probing. "Unless you give me something to hold over you so I can feel at ease."

"Out of the question."

He had indeed seen something he should not have, and he was willing to apologize and offer compensation for it. But those were separate matters. No one's secrets should be used as bargaining chips.

"I know a promise doesn't carry much weight when it's only words." He softened his tone and looked at her earnestly. "But I keep my promises, not just for you, but for myself too."

"So did you mean what you said that day?" Kushida suddenly asked, sounding somewhat unnatural.

"What do you mean?" Takahashi Ren paused, not understanding how the conversation had suddenly jumped to this.

"That... one thing you said." Her voice dropped a little, but she could not get the words out.

She wanted to know whether "I appreciate the real you more" had been Takahashi Ren's honest feelings or just a lie he had casually used to placate her.

She found herself caring more and more about the answer, and that irritated her.

If he said it was a lie, what would that make all the thought she had spent turning it over these past few days? But if it was true, how was she supposed to face it?

"It's just the two of us here." Noticing that she seemed a little constrained, Takahashi Ren said, "You don't have to put on an act around me."

"Shut up. You don't have to tell me that." Kushida looked away.

For some reason, she actually found it harder to relax around Takahashi Ren.

It had to be because she had been too tired lately. Because of this incident, she had slept well for several days now.

Kushida forced herself to calm down. She lowered her eyes and gently rubbed the rim of her teacup with her fingers, as though using the repetitive motion to smooth the turmoil within her.

Her immediate priority was to keep this person in check. Since he had offered compensation of his own accord, there was still room to work things out.

There was no need for her to dwell on whether it was true right now. Instead, she ought to use this opportunity to get a better grasp of his character and how much she could trust what he said.

"Forget it. Even if you tell anyone, they won't believe you. As long as you keep your word, I won't give you any trouble." Kushida took the way out he had offered.

"Thank you for trusting me."

"I haven't decided what I want as compensation yet. I'll come find you when I have."

"All right."

"What are you planning to do about Ayanokoji?" Takahashi Ren asked not out of concern for Ayanokoji, but to protect himself.

How Kushida treated Ayanokoji would directly reflect her true attitude toward everyone who knew her real nature.

If Kushida merely wanted an apology and appropriate compensation, then he was most likely safe too.

If Kushida secretly had other plans for Ayanokoji, then once Ayanokoji had been "dealt with," her next target might very well be him, since he also knew her real nature.

"Of course I want to settle things peacefully with him," Kushida said, not meaning it.

How could she possibly forgive him? Ayanokoji had not even offered a sincere apology and kept provoking her. Everyone who knew her secret ought to disappear from this school.

Takahashi Ren alone was an exception. If he had meant what he said that day, she could consider it.

"I understand." Takahashi Ren did not need to believe what Kushida said. He understood her two-faced nature better than anyone. But what she's willing to say in front of me is itself a statement of her attitude.

Kushida got up and walked to the door. Her movement paused as she rested her hand on the handle. After a moment of silence, she abruptly asked, "Do you think we can still be friends?"

Takahashi Ren was a little surprised. He had not expected Kushida to still be dwelling on that question. Perhaps this was her obsession with becoming friends with everyone.

He gave it serious thought and offered an answer from the heart.

"As long as you want to, I won't refuse."

Takahashi Ren had kept thinking about what had happened that day, and how he had come to tell Kushida, "I appreciate the real you more."

He had said it so naturally then, but now those words seemed suspended in midair, unable to settle.

Did he really understand her "real self"? Or had that merely been a pretty turn of phrase he had casually offered to soothe her and defuse the conflict?

Did he truly accept Kushida as a whole, or had that only been what he felt in that instant?

He had considered looking for an answer in books, understanding her through another, similar soul.

But Kushida was neither Jekyll nor Hyde. She was not a case from literary history. She was a living, complex person.

The only reference book for her was herself.

The way to understand her was not to comb through her past, but to spend time with her as she was now.

Until Kushida was willing to take off her mask in front of him.

Kushida neither turned around nor answered. She pulled the door open and walked out. The door closed softly, hiding her from view.

Takahashi Ren thought back over Kushida's behavior that evening from beginning to end, lost in thought.

The matter with Kushida had come to a temporary close, but he knew that some things were far from over.

The steady path he had originally intended to follow might already have veered elsewhere without his noticing.

Even so, he still wanted to keep his present days as peaceful as possible.

At the very least, he wanted to fully enjoy every day he could spend in peace during this time.