Chapter 19

Chapter 20: Those who expect others to give them happiness

For days after the exams ended, the skies remained clear. Sunlight shifted steadily over the little city of Xiahai. Su Can occasionally went up to the rooftop, where he could see the entire city, half of it bathed in hazy golden light. Shafts of sunlight streamed through the clouds and drifted slowly across the city below.

This was Xiahai City eleven years earlier. Many places where buildings had stood were still barren stretches of land, or abandoned ponds and tangled foxtail grass that reached his knees.

The breeze blew gently, and Su Can felt all the more strongly that this was where his destiny continued and began anew. This time, he could not be a deserter routed by fate. He would change the life in which he had once suffered defeat after defeat.

One day, he would stand somewhere higher, with clouds gathering and dispersing overhead just like this, and look down upon this world where plants withered and flourished.

His mother, Zeng Ke, had been coming home earlier and earlier lately, and getting more days off. Yet, in contrast, she wore a troubled expression more and more often. It suddenly made his mother, who still retained her charm at this age, look several years older.

On yet another day off, as his mother came home at noon to cook, Su Can asked, "Mom, is something wrong? You've been looking so worried lately."

Zeng Ke turned from trimming the pea shoots and glanced at Su Can. Some things really had happened at work lately, leaving everyone anxious. But instinctively, she still thought of Su Can as a child who had yet to grow up, and in truth, he was. All the more reason not to make him worry about adult matters. His job was simply to study hard.

"What do children know? Nothing's wrong. If you have nothing to do, come help me wash the vegetables!"

Su Can smiled. The treatment he received before and after the exams really was different. Before the exams, he had not needed to do anything, and had chicken soup, milk, and eggs every day. Once the exams were over, the food immediately dropped two grades, and he had to work, too.

Fortunately, Su Can actually found it enjoyable. In his later life, he had been busy with work and gone home even less often. Sometimes, when his parents missed him and called, he was either entertaining clients or working overtime, never mind doing something to help them. A trace of guilt crossed his heart as he thought of it now. He hurriedly gathered the vegetables that needed washing into a winnowing basket and took the pea shoots from his mother. Rolling up his sleeves, he began washing them leaf by leaf beneath the tap. His practiced movements surprised Zeng Ke a little. When had her usually work-shy son become so hardworking?

It actually brought a little comfort to her gloomy heart.

After dinner that evening, Su Licheng and Zeng Ke, for once, did not stay outside to watch television with Su Can. Instead, sounds of an argument came from their room.

Su Can deliberately turned the television volume down to its lowest setting and listened carefully to his parents' conversation.

"What am I supposed to do? The company's about to collapse, and now they're asking us to voluntarily take buyouts based on our years of service, to streamline and restructure. Wonderful. How am I supposed to face anyone if word gets out? I'm about to lose my job. It's humiliating!" Zeng Ke's voice carried out.

His father, Su Licheng, paused thoughtfully. "What did your management say?"

"If we voluntarily take the buyout, they can settle it now. With my fifteen years of service, I could probably get thirty thousand yuan. Lan, Wang, and a few of the other women have already taken their buyouts and left. But if we choose to stay, the old pay system will change, and we might get a hundred yuan less each month! I asked my older brother, too. He thinks very little of our company. You know how he is. If I lose my job this time, he'll have even more to say about me. If General Manager Huang weren't doing it out of respect for him, I probably wouldn't even have a choice!"

Su Can immediately remembered what his parents were discussing. His mother had worked as an accountant at a state-owned trading company in Xiahai City. At first, it had enjoyed tremendous prestige, but then problems arose, and it suffered repeated losses. Its glory faded, and the company began discussing layoffs and a series of related issues. Those who chose to leave with a buyout at the time would receive a payment from the company, and that would be the end of their ties.

His mother had faced two choices then. The first was to take the buyout and use the money to open some sort of small shop, going into business for herself. The second was to remain at the company, earning a little less each month than before, but at least not losing her job.

In the end, his mother had not taken the risk, choosing to stay at the trading company. But within two or three years, the company could no longer keep going and finally collapsed. His mother was still forced to take a severance payment based on her years of service and go into business. Only after working for other people for two years did she discover how profitable stationery shops were at the time. She then opened her own shop, but had still missed the golden years. Even so, the family's life with that shop was much better than before.

"What business could you run? Have you forgotten that clothing shop or whatever you used to have? It kept losing money. You can't make any business work. What's the point?" his father, Su Licheng, said.

"But carrying on like this isn't a solution either. From the way General Manager Huang looks, he doesn't have much confidence in the company himself."

"Ah, forget it. I think the upheaval at your company is only temporary. That General Manager Huang of yours is a capable man. He might well get the company back on its feet. Stay there. Even if things don't work out later, at least they won't shortchange you, and you'll get more money than you would now," his father said hesitantly.

Su Can put on his shoes, got off the sofa, went to his parents' door, and knocked softly.

His parents' discussion quieted, and his mother called, "Su Can? What is it? Come in."

Su Can opened the door. Zeng Ke and Su Licheng were sitting on the bedroom sofa, with some documents spread between them and a small box containing things like the household registration booklet and deposit slips.

"Dad, Mom, I heard what you were talking about just now." Su Can sat down on their bed, thought for a moment, then said, "Mom, I think you should take the buyout and go into business yourself."

His parents froze for a moment before his father sighed. "What do you know, child? Go out and watch television. Don't interrupt the adults!"

Zeng Ke blinked, however, and gave Su Licheng a slightly resentful look. "Our son's growing up, too. Haven't you noticed how much he understands now? Let him speak. Son, what do you think?"

Su Can thought for a moment. If he simply told his mother that her trading company was a product of the planned economy, that it struggled in the modern commodity market because its system did not fit, that sooner or later it would become a heap of rubble buried in history, that clinging to outdated ways was no solution, and that he already knew the company was bound to collapse, his parents would probably look at him as though he were a monster.

Su Can took a different approach. "I read a few books earlier, and one of them mentioned something: if you expect others to give you your destiny, your life is bound to be a sad one. Mom, whether this company collapses in the future or develops really well isn't important. What matters is that our whole family's fate is tied to it, tangled up with other people. General Manager Huang might treat you well today out of respect for Uncle, but what if Uncle loses his power one day? A single word from him might turn our family's life upside down."

Both his parents were stunned. They had not expected Su Can to sound so mature when he said these things. If he had not said he had read it in a book, they would have wondered whether their son was a little too precocious!

Su Can had seen something much like that remark in his mother's notebook and elaborated on it. His mother, Zeng Ke, actually had a pioneering spirit. She had written that sentence in her notebook herself as a motto. Su Can had expanded on it and spoken it aloud precisely to move his parents at a fundamental level.

After being reborn, he was unwilling to accept the arrangements of fate. He also wanted his mother not to submit to fate, but to create for herself the dreams she had never dared to imagine!