[I admit my motives weren't pure.]
[I felt vindictive then, and I was cold. Watching his despair, I even felt a trace of satisfaction at getting revenge.]
[But I'm no saint. I never said I was a god.]
[I'm just a flesh-and-blood human being. When someone is nearly killed by a companion, used as a human shield, it's only human not to want to save him under those circumstances!]
[I can't completely reject myself just because my choice wasn't "noble enough"! If I had to do it again, I still wouldn't want to save someone who tried to kill me!]
Rokuya's heartbeat gradually steadied, like a volcano on the verge of eruption gathering its final reserves of power at the surface.
[The real issue isn't whether I saved him. The real issue is-]
[I shouldn't have pretended that "I did nothing wrong."]
[I shouldn't have used "he deserved to die" to gloss over my coldness. I did make a choice, and my choice was not to save him. In the chain of cause and effect, that choice led to his death.]
[I'll bear that consequence. I accept my selfishness. I accept my cruelty.]
[But I won't reject the path ahead of me because of it. My blade still has demons to slay; my hands still have people I truly care about to save!]
The wind seemed to stop.
Amid the ruins, Rokuya slowly raised his head.
His eyes, previously hidden behind stray locks of hair, were now fully exposed in the night. There was no confusion, no evasion, none of the breakdown or madness Reiko had anticipated.
Those eyes were as cold as ice in an abyss, as sharp as an unsheathed blade.
Reiko's laughter cut off. Like a duck seized by the neck, she stared wide-eyed at Rokuya below.