"Oh, there's one more thing."
Uncle Vernon suddenly turned to look at Dudley, who was trembling in the corner.
"Dudley! You come here too!"
Dudley shuddered, scattering the crisps in his hands all over the floor.
"D-Dad?"
"Mr. Holmes specifically mentioned you in his letter."
An expression of fatherly love like a landslide appeared on Uncle Vernon's face.
"He said that since Harry is studying, you, as his older cousin, should set an example.
"What's more, he's provided you with a... fully sponsored weight-loss and intellectual development package."
Dudley's face instantly went white.
"I don't-"
"You have to!"
Aunt Petunia suddenly shrieked, cutting off her darling son's protest.
Tears glimmered in her eyes, evidently because she had thought of the hundred thousand pounds and how much commission that would mean.
"Diddums, this is for your own good! We're starting a company, and you'll inherit it someday! How will you manage a factory if you can't even solve a linear equation in two variables?"
"So," Uncle Vernon swept his great hand through the air, pronouncing a death sentence on both boys.
"You two will sit right here! Keep an eye on each other! If either of you dares slack off-"
He pointed at the ceiling and said meaningfully:
"I'll call Mr. Holmes and ask him to come tutor you in person."
At the words "tutor you in person," Harry and Dudley shuddered in unison.
They exchanged a glance and actually saw something unprecedented in each other's eyes, something that crossed the divide between magic and Muggles-a fellow sufferer's sympathy.
Harry sighed and resignedly opened Cambridge Junior High School Mathematics.
All right, compared with facing Voldemort's Killing Curse, facing Uncle Vernon's roaring and algebra problems did seem... just a little safer?
Probably.
The Egyptian sun was like an enraged deity, pouring its