"...He was absolutely delighted."
Tina ignored her husband's pleading and continued.
"That night, he dug a bottle of Firewhisky he'd treasured for fifty years out of the cellar-the one Dumbledore gave him."
"He drank more than half of it all by himself."
"And then..."
Tina looked at Newt, who wished he could crawl into a crack in the ground, and laughed so hard her shoulders shook.
"He stood in front of the teapot holding the Occamy, waving his arms and delivering an impassioned speech."
"He said, 'Douglas is a genius! He may be a food-obsessed lunatic, but he's a genius!'"
Douglas raised an eyebrow, fighting back a smile.
"Oh? I had no idea Newt thought so highly of me."
"He also said..."
Tina deliberately drew out the words as she looked at Douglas.
"He said that, someday, he would entrust some of the little darlings in his case to Douglas. Because only someone like Douglas, who truly understood animals and could protect them, deserved to..."
"Really, Newt?"
Douglas put down his cup and leaned forward, swallowing instinctively.
He began wondering what he might get.
A Graphorn?
Its meat was supposedly very chewy, perfect for soup.
And that Nundu... Oh, that one was too poisonous, but if its breath were purified, it could make an excellent smoky seasoning.
Of course, if he could get an Occamy... Its eggshells were pure silver, and the eggs would make absolutely exquisite steamed egg custard.
"No!!!"
Newt let out a horrified cry and sprang straight off the sofa.
His face was bright red, right down to his ears, and he looked like a plucked Diricawl.
"That was drunken talk! Nonsense! The ravings of a brain corroded by alcohol, nothing more!"
Newt protested incoherently, waving both hands wildly in the air.
"Entrust them to Douglas? Merlin's