"Genius! This is genius PR!"
Umbridge shrieked, the flesh on her face trembling with excitement.
"Minister! This way, the public won't accuse you of incompetence. Instead, they'll thank you for securing tangible benefits for them in a crisis!
The moment that golden shield lights up, the panic will vanish!"
Fudge nodded vigorously, his hands trembling.
"There's more! Look below! For existing customers who've already had installations, we'll upgrade their accounts free of charge to our new internal financial system, MPC exclusive black-and-gold membership.
Not only will they enjoy a lifetime warranty, but for any new products the company releases in the future,
whether automatic counterattack systems or home emergency medical kits, they'll have priority purchasing rights and discounts.
The statement will mention that this, too, reflects Minister Fudge's special consideration for existing customers."
"He even thought of the existing customers..."
Fudge murmured to himself. At that moment, Douglas felt closer to him than his own father.
This was hardly doing business. He was practically using Galleons to pave Fudge a red carpet to reelection!
"But what about Azkaban?"
Although delighted, Umbridge hadn't lost her reason. She pointed to the lower half of the letter.
"Douglas mentioned that too!"
Fudge rustled through the pages, his eyes fixed on those lines as though they were a divine revelation.
"Regarding that island.
Cornelius, my old friend, don't you think using Dementors to guard a prison is too medieval, too barbaric, and far too inconsistent with your enlightened principles of governance?
Those monsters have no loyalty, only appetites.
If they can betray you today for a mere promise from Voldemort, tomorrow they can attack Hogwarts for more delicious souls (in fact, they did exactly that two years ago).
Their departure has actually helped you cut out a tumor."
At this point, Fudge slapped his