Thinking back now, perhaps because she had Infinite Illusion's Virtual Guide, Jin Xueli had almost never truly confronted a resident-much less fought one to the death.
Only after she had been released from death again did she finally arrive at a conjecture.
Every resident had a different way of surviving and different means of attack. She knew that.
But "means of attack" was still vague and general: punching you was an attack, making your neck split open with a sentence was also an attack-and squeezing out your existence bit by bit was an attack too.
"You said it yourself: residents alter the details of their memories to fill in gaps and holes. That's why a resident is absolutely convinced it's the original."
Jin Xueli could barely keep the towel pressed down anymore. If the strength the resident beneath her was struggling with was also her own, then all her physical training had really paid off. It was enough to leave her gritting her teeth, her arms trembling, unsure when she might be thrown off.
But she could not leave a single necessary word unsaid.
There really could only be one Jin Xueli in the world. The resident was right about that.
"But when I thought back, I realized I wasn't like that. Ever since I discovered there was another 'Jin Xueli,' I've been unable to shake my self-doubt, especially after I came back from the dead... I can't explain why I copied your wound, or why I can't remember where I bought these pants. If I were the resident, I should have had a seamless answer to those questions long ago."
A towel was jammed deep into "Jin Xueli's" mouth, stretching its lips into two long, thin, shiny strips, its teeth half exposed. Foam, saliva, retching sounds, and its tongue struggled and churned deep inside its mouth, as though it still wanted to speak-seeing her own face like this was almost unbearable.
Jin Xueli knew what it wanted to say.
"You want to say that it's precisely because I'm the resident that, when faced with questions I can't answer, I take that as evidence that 'I'm the original' instead, right?"
A muffled sound came from its throat, seemingly an angry "yes."
"Impressive... No matter what doubts I raise, you can turn them into doubts about myself."
The resident slammed a fist into her side. For an instant, it felt as though the blow had punched all the air and light away.
Jin Xueli's vision kept blackening. Enduring the pain, she still held it down with a death grip, barely managing to twist around and curl up one leg, using her thigh as a moat to take its pounding fists-her other knee still had to pin its other arm down, and her muscles were aching and spasming.
"This is your mode of attack, isn't it?"
She had to say it aloud. Only by saying it aloud could she have a chance of survival. "Between the two of us, you're the one who's absolutely certain, and I'm the one filled with fear and uncertainty. It's only by building on that tiny bit of doubt in my mind that your words can hurt me and become reality."
Her neck had split open at a sentence not because she was a resident, but because of that tiny bit of doubt in her mind.
The resident's attack was "language," but its method of attack was like holding a syringe full of poison: it had to pierce the skin for the poison to take effect.
And that tiny bit of self-doubt was the entry point in the skin-without an entry point, the resident's verbal attacks would not work.
If the resident said the same thing to Anthony, his neck would never split open, of course, because his sense of self was perfectly clear and had nothing to do with being a "resident."
"...Your instinct is to squeeze out my existence. That's why you keep reminding me, pointing out all kinds of problems and flaws, trying to make me believe I'm the resident. 'Jin Xueli' is a position. Only if I die or disappear and leave that position vacant can you occupy it forever and truly become Jin Xueli.
"To do that, you slit my throat with a sentence, then told me a resident's 'copying' has a time limit-even if there's no such thing, because you said it aloud, I'll gradually start turning into a resident after a while. Is that right?"
That tiny bit of doubt she had felt about herself earlier had already served as an entry point, letting those words seep in. Jin Xueli did not have much time left.
In a little while, if she still could not deal with the resident in front of her, she might begin taking its place as the resident...
Even though she believed she had sorted everything out, as soon as that thought arose, a small voice still surfaced deep inside her: Really?
Will you be "taking its place" as a resident, or "reverting" to your resident form?
...No, this was not the time to think about that. She could barely hold "Jin Xueli" down anymore.
Jin Xueli shook off that voice deep in her mind and spoke faster, trying to pour everything out before the opportunity slipped away.
"When you said 'residents' had a time limit, that was actually when I began to see the truth. Because the real 'Jin Xueli' doesn't know that information at all-I even doubt whether it's real. Or did you make it up on the spot just to make me take your place as the resident?"
The last syllable stretched into a cracking cry.
With a sudden struggle, the resident gained more room to move and punched Jin Xueli in the temple. Amid clanging gongs and white stars, by the time her vision cleared again, she discovered she had somehow been thrown to the floor.
"Jin Xueli" was climbing to its feet, coughing dryly. The long towel lay heavily on the floor beside it, soaked with saliva.
"You're wrong."
Its voice was hoarse, as though its lips and tongue were still heavy and numb, not quite obeying it. "...The real Jin Xueli knows that information. Last month, when I was listening to the radio, the host mentioned it as a rumor. I remembered..."
The Fire Axe. The words jumped into Jin Xueli's mind.
Don't let it get the Fire Axe.
She could not stand. Bracing all four limbs against the floor, she crawled unsteadily toward the Fire Axe. The resident clearly saw her goal too. With a quiet snort, it twisted around and made as if to kick her-just as Jin Xueli hurriedly dodged and fell back onto her bottom, the resident strode toward the Fire Axe.
There seemed to be only one way to slow it down.
Even delaying it for a few seconds so she could catch her breath would do.
Staring at the back of her other self as it hurried toward the Fire Axe, Jin Xueli cried hoarsely:
"Then why don't I have it?"
The other "Jin Xueli" abruptly stopped. It turned its eyes toward Jin Xueli, looking at her from beneath its lids.
"You said the real Jin Xueli knows that information, right? If you're the original and I copied you, then naturally, I should have that information in my head too."
Jin Xueli gave her other self a low, dry laugh. Her throat felt as though it had just rolled through sand and come away coated in it.
"...When you mentioned that information, I suddenly realized I didn't have it in my head. I'm not the copy. You are."
The resident stood frozen in place, seemingly unsure how to react for a moment.
"Don't forget, there's another key point."
Jin Xueli did not dare crawl toward the Fire Axe anymore. She feared jolting the resident out of its daze; the more bewildered it was, the better for her. "...Aren't residents impossible to kill? But I've died once, haven't I?"
The resident lowered its head and shook it hard several times.
"No, you could be lying to deceive me. You know, but you say you don't. Isn't that easy enough?"
It spoke in something close to a murmur.
If sound had a shape, it would have been a long worm burrowing ever deeper into darkness, never looking at daylight. "Residents being impossible to kill is only a rumor to begin with. Before killing you today, I'd never actually tried killing a resident either... Its truth has always been open to question."
"You see," Jin Xueli said with a breathy laugh, "a resident really does find all kinds of excuses and reasons to perfect its memories and logic, convincing itself it's the real person."
After those words, the hall fell silent for a second or two.
She watched herself slowly raise her head toward herself.
People were not very familiar with their own expressions unless they constantly watched themselves in a mirror. So Jin Xueli found it hard to describe what that fleeting expression on the face meant-if she had to describe it, it was as though something that had always hung high in "Jin Xueli's" mind had suddenly fallen.
The next moment, she knew.
"No matter which of us is the resident," that face of hers twisted slightly as it said, "as long as I kill you, I'll naturally be the real Jin Xueli."
Before it had even finished speaking, it lunged forward, scooped up the nearby Fire Axe, and turned its gaze back toward Jin Xueli-silently lamenting her plight, Jin Xueli hurriedly yanked off her other sock, scrambled to her feet, and ran.
As expected of someone who had copied her, it gave the same answer when faced with the same problem.
Jin Xueli had thought that once she punctured the resident's confidence and made it doubt itself, things would take a turn-but whether the resident was confident or not, it still wanted to kill her. Had anything fundamentally changed at all?
Worst of all, she could not kill the resident, but the resident could kill her. How was she supposed to fight this battle?
The exhibition hall was large, but with someone chasing her with an axe raised behind her, it felt too small.
Barefoot, Jin Xueli could not run toward the wood chips and fragments scattered across the floor. If she got a splinter in her foot and could no longer run, she would be leaving her life here. That left only one direction for escape: toward the giant candle.
...And the flickering flames beneath it.
The resident hasn't turned off the fire or let the candle solidify-the thought jumped into Jin Xueli's mind.
When she had watched from a distance earlier, she had noticed that the section it was melting with the fire seemed close to the time when she had first met Anthony-in other words, six months ago.
Wait, if the section from six months ago can be melted, then-
Before Jin Xueli could finish that thought, her feet had unconsciously slowed as she pondered.
A heavy, sharp pain cleaved through her thoughts and her shoulder together.
Friends, I'm sorry. I was too tired yesterday. As an extreme introvert, I've unexpectedly turned into a social butterball these past two days (I really have put on weight. I've barely had a few full meals, and I'm already 62.5 kilograms). Yesterday, I practically collapsed dead in bed.
But today I buckled down. Guess where I finished writing this chapter...
I opened the Pathway, entered Yuewen's lair, and finished it at their headquarters...
How should I put it? The pressure really was pretty intense, but pressure is what gets an update finished... After all, tomorrow I'm, well, getting on a plane again. I need a little pressure...
(Honestly, this trip to Shanghai has developed into an entirely different storyline. I really didn't expect my secret identity to get exposed just like that. When I have time, I'll tell you allll about it.)
(End of chapter)
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