An afternoon nap

After the fourth period ended, Qin An opened his lunchbox. Inside were pieces of chicken...

Bright red chilies, chicken skin fried in chili oil gleaming with rich fat, firm chicken meat chopped into small pieces, a serving of tomato and egg soup sprinkled with chopped scallions, and a thoroughly cooked potato...

Looking at this lunch, Qin An lowered his head, tears streaming down his face uncontrollably...

His mother, Li Qin, had prepared this lunch. Every morning, she prepared a lunch like this for him. Once, he had never felt grateful, taking it all for granted. By the time he gradually grew up and came to understand the motherly love it held, that unique care that could never be surpassed, Li Qin had been diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer as he graduated from his senior year of college...

Filial devotion was the most moving thing, and the most painful. For an adult who already understood how great a parent's love was and how much it deserved to be cherished, being unable to fulfill that duty was nothing short of an untouchable ache deep in the heart. One touch, and the pain cut to the bone, tearing the heart apart...

In the first few years after his mother passed away, Qin An would often wake from dreams to find his pillow soaked with tears, his heart clenched in pain...

When Li Qin was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she refused to believe she would die. She believed she could recover. She had not yet seen her son marry and have children. She had not yet taught her daughter-in-law how to run a household...

At the time, Qin An was at the most critical stage of preparing for a professional qualification exam. Li Qin would not let anyone disturb him. On the phone with him, she always chatted about trivial things, asking whether he was eating and dressing well, whether he was keeping warm. Qin An could not even detect the slightest sign that anything was wrong...

When he saw his mother again, Li Qin was already lying in a hospital bed, her lower abdomen swollen high, the cancer spread throughout her body. She could barely narrow her eyes enough to make out that it was her son...

Less than twenty-four hours after seeing her son again, she passed away. Even in the time before she fell into a complete coma and lost consciousness, she was still comforting Qin An, saying she was fine, that she would get better...

Qin An looked at the carefully prepared dishes and soup in his lunchbox, then carefully put it inside his desk. Without waiting for a few classmates to carry rice from the cafeteria into the classroom in a large aluminum container, he left Town Junior High School on his own...

Li Qin was also a teacher. She taught sixth grade at the town's central elementary school...

Town Junior High School was not far from the town's central elementary school. Following his memory, Qin An hurriedly glanced at the still fairly young teachers he vaguely remembered and burst into Li Qin's office...

The office was small. The homeroom teachers' offices were all connected to the classrooms they supervised: a small bed, a desk...

Li Qin was sitting on the edge of the bed, about to take off her shoes and nap for a little while...

Not yet forty, Li Qin had the gentle, virtuous air particular to traditional Chinese women. Because she was always keen to grow her own vegetables and handled all the housework herself, her fingers were callused. Brushing her hair aside with a somewhat rough hand, she saw Qin An burst into the office...

Seeing Li Qin again stirred Qin An more than seeing anyone else. This was the happiness of having a truly unforgettable pain erased. It was an unbelievable sight. Countless times, he had imagined what it would be like if his mother were still alive, if she had never fallen ill...

When Li Qin appeared before him alive and well, how could Qin An contain himself? Even with an adult's mindset, before his mother, he was only a child. He would always be her child...

What could embrace everything was not the vastness of nature, not so-called love, not so-called generosity of spirit, but only a mother's arms...

"Mom..." Qin An walked over and hugged Li Qin tightly...

"What's wrong?" Li Qin was a little puzzled. She let Qin An hold him and patted Qin An's back. "What happened? Tell Mom. Don't cry..."

Qin An said nothing, only held her tightly. He had never experienced greater fear and unease than at this moment. He had thought these were only memories. When he confirmed that they were not memories but a second chance at life, he had felt happy. When he saw his mother again, that happiness became incomparable, reaching its peak...

If he suddenly discovered now that this was nothing more than something his mind had imagined, just a dream, Qin An would be utterly unable to bear the pain of falling from that peak of dreamlike happiness into cold reality...

Qin An nuzzled Li Qin's hair, feeling the presence of his mother that soothed and reassured her son. A joyful wonder slowly spread through his heart, dispelling that fear. He was not dreaming. How could a dream be so clear? He could feel his mother's heartbeat, her tenderness, her somewhat helpless anxiety...

"I'm fine, Mom... I wanted to take my afternoon nap here..." Qin An took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed...

"You silly boy... You gave Mom such a fright..." Li Qin smiled and stroked Qin An's head. "What brought this change on today? Don't you usually hate afternoon naps more than anything?"

"I like them today..." Qin An hugged Li Qin from behind and closed his eyes. After those sweeping rises and falls of joy, he was especially tired. As Li Qin patted his back, he actually fell asleep at once...

"Whew!"

Qin An abruptly sat up in bed, cold sweat pouring down his forehead. He turned his head in a panic, and only then did his pounding heart feebly cease its struggle, letting him calm down...

It really was not a dream. Li Qin was still sleeping peacefully beside him...

Qin An glanced at the alarm clock on the desk, then climbed carefully out of bed. He pulled the blanket over Li Qin's lower abdomen, ran to the kitchen to fill a washbasin with water and set it on the washstand, then poured a cup of cooled boiled water. Only then did he quietly leave the town's central elementary school...

At the school gate, a few outrageously bold sixth graders who had skipped their nap were lying on the ground. At their age, an afternoon nap was nothing short of torture, the only thing children considered a waste of time...

They were playing marbles, all four lying close together. One of them kept aiming this way and that without taking his shot...

"Hurry up! Nap period's almost over!"

"Hey, how about I trade you sour plum powder for some marbles?" Qin An stood there, no longer in a hurry to return to school...

The four sixth graders looked up. Because Qin An had started school early, entering first grade at five, these sixth graders were actually only one or two years younger than him. Hearing Qin An speak, one who already seemed impatient pulled out five marbles. "Five packets of sour plum powder!"

"Are your marbles made of gold? Five packets cost fifty cents!" Qin An's eyes widened. This kid's really ripping me off...

"Two packets of sour plum powder and two popsicles..." The boy immediately lowered his price...

"That's more like it..."

Qin An took out forty cents, bought them at the snack shop, and immediately traded them for five marbles...

Half an hour later, Qin An had lost all five marbles. He dusted off his hands and rejected the offers from the children who still wanted to trade him marbles for snacks...

"Hmph, I pay for your marbles, then you win them back. You really know how to do business. I'm not that stupid!" Shaking off his dejection at losing, Qin An returned to Town Junior High School with his head held high...

Wasn't the joy of living life again found in these little moments of fun? Once you grew up and remembered these things, could you take off your suit and tie and lie down to play marbles?

Given such a chance, Qin An would not miss it...