"Power?"
"I don't like it much either."
"Actually, I've been thinking about this all this time, but I couldn't figure it out."
"Until I met Yu Sheng and Shi Guang a while ago."
"I was actually very curious. By rights, they should have even less attachment to this world than I do, so why were their lives more interesting than mine?"
"So I made a point of observing them."
"They seemed..."
"They seemed to have found something called a goal, or an ideal, or something like that."
"The heart... really is the most complicated thing."
"After they left, I spent this whole year thinking, trying to find a goal of my own, so I could work hard and keep living tenaciously, just like them."
"But I couldn't do it..."
"I seem to have been born without a goal."
As Xiao Nan spoke, he kept gazing at the sky. His voice was quiet, more like he was talking to himself, his hands resting on the battlements. "Ever since I could remember, I noticed... everyone was trying hard to stay alive, so I followed you all in living, without really understanding."
"Then I noticed everyone was anxious about food and weapons, so I went to earn food and weapons too..."
"But I really couldn't feel any happiness."
"Maybe that time Sister Shi Guang chased me around trying to slash me for an entire day and night... was the only time in my life I ever felt any emotional ups and downs."
"Gradually, I grew tired of it..."
"Everyone wanted to leave the city, so I chose to leave too, and I succeeded very easily."
"But after leaving the city, I realized..."
"There were even more things everyone was chasing."
At this point, a trace of distress appeared on Xiao Nan's face, and