Xie Huan nodded. "Yep. How would I know how to do that?"
Gu Lin was skeptical. "Didn't you grow up in the mountains? How could you not know how to slaughter a pig?!"
Xie Huan clapped Gu Lin on the shoulder and said earnestly:
"Then do you know there was a temple up in those mountains, with an old monk in it? That old monk raised me in that temple. If I knew how to slaughter pigs, wouldn't that be downright rebellion?"
Everyone: "..."
Tragic!
This story was too tragic!
In stark contrast to the Roaming Group...
Was the director.
The director was anything but sad.
He was practically jumping for joy.
After taking blows from Xie Huan all day...
He had finally caught this jack-of-all-trades at something he couldn't do!
But he had celebrated a little too soon.
Xie Huan really didn't know how to slaughter a pig.
But he said he could learn.
All because Pei Tingyun wanted everyone to have meat for dinner tonight.
Yet just as Xie Huan took out his phone to search online for a pig-slaughtering tutorial...
Pei Tingyun suddenly pressed down on his hand.
"Maybe you shouldn't learn this after all. It's not right for you."
Xie Huan saw reluctance and worry in his eyes.
Smiling, he patted his hand and reassured him:
"What's right or wrong about it? In extraordinary times, all that matters is whether it's useful. As the saying goes, if I don't enter hell, who will? I'll handle the killing. You guys just handle the eating!"
The livestream's bullet comments:
[That old monk at the temple raised our big bro so well! I'm suddenly so touched!]
[Xie Huan has real wisdom! As expected of the CP I stan! Love it, love it!]
After saying that, Xie Huan saw that Pei Tingyun's mood hadn't improved.
So he added:
"Besides, if we trace the karmic sin of killing this pig back to its roots, it's not on me. Isn't it the production team's doing? And I eat every kind of meat anyway. What's slaughtering one pig?"
Pei Tingyun thought Xie Huan had a point.
So he let go. "True enough. Go ahead and learn, then."
The director: "..."
Why did that boomerang hit me again?
You had to admit it.
Xie Huan really was a fast learner.
He actually learned how to slaughter a pig.
As he slaughtered it, he even held up the knife to haggle with the director:
"Let's discuss something, Director?"
Watching the bloodstained knife waving in front of him...
The director couldn't see this as a discussion at all.
Xie Huan said, "I've slaughtered the pig for you. Shouldn't you show a little consideration and get us some other ingredients? Don't go overboard. Just fill the fridge in the house."
The director: "..."
Sure enough, this wasn't a discussion. It was blatant robbery!
Faced with such brazen robbery...
The production team naturally handed over the ingredients without a fuss.
Of course...
If they were really that compliant, they wouldn't be the production team of Ultimate Roaming.
While supplying the ingredients, they confiscated every knife, claiming that the limited period for using them had expired.
That included the butcher knife in Xie Huan's hand.
The pig had been slaughtered, but the meat hadn't all been cut up yet.
With the knives taken away, they couldn't even cut the other ingredients.
How were they supposed to make dinner now?!
Earlier, they had said that whoever finished last in the island-circuit ATV race wouldn't get any meat.
Now it had turned straight into no dinner for anyone.
Tang Keni's fiery temper flared at the slightest provocation.
Pointing right at the director's nose, he roared:
"Would it kill your production team to act like human beings?! Can't you just let us have a decent meal?"
The director shook his head mercilessly. "No."
Tang Keni was furious. "Where's my saber? Bring me my forty-meter saber! I promise I won't hack him to death!"
Yao Xuan hurried over and grabbed Tang Keni.
"Hey, calm down. If we had a blade, wouldn't it be better to chop the pork? Wouldn't using it on him be a waste? Come on, let's go help Brother Xie!"
With that, he dragged the fuming Tang Keni away.
Leaving the director standing there pondering-
Wait, something seems off...
Was he saying I'm worth less than a pig?
Just then, a dark blur suddenly ran past him.
Leaving behind an angry-
"Woof!"
The director: "..."
Feels like I just got cussed out by a dog, too...
While Tang Keni had been arguing with the director...
Xie Huan and Pei Tingyun, both men of action, had already started figuring out how to solve the problem.
Their solution was for everyone to find something that could substitute for a knife.
Apart from Xie Huan, who stayed in the kitchen putting the pork they wouldn't use today into the fridge...
Everyone else scattered.
Ten minutes later...
Gu Lin returned with a stone.
The moment he opened his mouth, he was full-on tsundere:
"I just picked it up at random. Use it or don't!"
Xie Huan raised an eyebrow.
The stone was thin and hard, clearly chosen on purpose.
Xie Huan said, "Well, damn! Ten minutes to pick up one stone? That's a pretty thoughtful kind of random!"
Gu Lin looked awkward. "Who's being thoughtful for you? Don't flatter yourself!"
As his words fell...
Tang Keni returned.
"Brother Xie, do you think this will work?"
Xie Huan took a look.
What Tang Keni had brought was actually a pair of pruning shears used for trimming branches.
Whatever else you could say...
They certainly were sharper than a stone.
It was just that...
The shears were covered in rust.
Using them to prepare food...
Would probably be too much for a clean freak like Pei Tingyun.
Fortunately, Yao Xuan had returned.
He had another option.
But when he actually saw that next option...
He didn't feel the slightest bit fortunate.
Because Yao Xuan was holding a can. An empty one.
Clearly, someone had thrown it away after eating the contents.
With an expression that said "this is hard to judge," Xie Huan asked, "Where'd you find that thing?"
Yao Xuan didn't notice his expression and was still excitedly explaining:
"In the trash can over there. Let me tell you, this can lid is really sharp. It'll have no trouble cutting meat!"
Great.
His heart could finally stop hanging in suspense and just die.
Xie Huan could only pin his hopes on Pei Tingyun bringing back a clean tool.
As it turned out...
A tool found by a clean freak really couldn't be the slightest bit dirty.
"Xie Huan, I found a knife!"
Hearing Pei Tingyun's voice, the corners of Xie Huan's mouth lifted.
He knew Pei Tingyun wouldn't let him down!
But when he saw the knife in Pei Tingyun's hand...
The smile that had only just begun to bloom instantly froze.
Because Pei Tingyun was holding a crystal-glass knife.
Clean it certainly was, but it was a decorative ornament from the villa!
It was so big, and it would shatter at a knock. How were they supposed to chop vegetables with it?
Xie Huan took the crystal-glass knife and carefully returned it to its original spot.
He was terrified of accidentally breaking it and having to pay for it.
He said nothing throughout the entire process.
He no longer wanted to comment.
In the end, the husky's whimpering broke the silence.
Everyone looked toward the sound.
Only to see that the husky was actually carrying a kitchen knife in his mouth!
He kept wagging his tail at Xie Huan.
He looked almost as though he were asking for credit-
See? I'm still the best, woof!
Everyone was stunned.
Xie Huan crouched down and vigorously rubbed the dog's head.
"Well, damn! Impressive, little bro! I'm definitely getting you a big marrow bone to gnaw on later!"