"My HP bar is almost empty! Let me lick him! Don't hold me back!"
"Is this Shi Wei? My impression of him is still stuck on the pouting and eye-bulging in his last drama. He was so affected back then. How did he get so seductive?"
"No! This isn't Shi Wei. This is my little waist spirit."
"Mom, come look who's in this photo! It's your daughter-in-law."
"Are you all blind?! Doesn't his ass look good too? It's like a peach!"
"Sis above, don't go too far. Don't his legs look good too?"
"I suddenly understand why he could play Liang Fang, who even made the emperor fall for him. If it were me, I'd be that foolish emperor too!"
Ji Hanchuan scrolled through the increasingly outrageous comments.
In the dim hallway, only the light from his phone screen shone on his stern face as he kept scrolling, light and shadow constantly shifting.
Heh.
He sneered inwardly.
Well done, Shi Wei. Taking photos like that.
Ji Hanchuan opened the door.
Shi Wei was lying on his stomach on the couch, eating a lollipop in the exact same pose as in the photo, his waist dipping and his bottom raised.
It formed a very pleasing curve.
When he saw Ji Hanchuan return, Shi Wei bit straight through his lollipop.
"H-hubby?! What are you doing back?"
Shi Wei bounced over and leaped straight onto him, wrapping his arms around his neck.
Based on his experience last time, Ji Hanchuan would definitely push him off. Shi Wei had already prepared himself.
"Don't want me back?"
Ji Hanchuan supported him. "Did you do something you feel guilty about again?"
"No."
Ji Hanchuan looked into his eyes.
-"..."
This was the first time he hadn't heard anything.
Had it stopped working?
He instinctively squeezed Shi Wei's waist.
Shi Wei froze, then said shyly, "Hubby, you're so mean!"
-"Holy shit, what is this bastard groping me for?! Is he sexually frustrated? Touch me again and I'll go get my dark iron cleaver!"
Ji Hanchuan: ...
Good. It hadn't stopped working.
Apparently, Shi Wei was quite satisfied with that jeans ad and didn't find it too revealing.
Ji Hanchuan tossed him onto the couch. Its excellent springiness made Shi Wei bounce twice. "Hubby, have you wrapped filming too?"
"Mm." Ji Hanchuan poured himself a glass of water, tilted his head back, and drank it all.
He seemed to drink rather urgently, his prominent Adam's apple bobbing sharply.
Holy crap, he really does seem "thirsty"...
Watching him left Shi Wei on tenterhooks. He even decided he absolutely had to lock his bedroom door tonight.
"Then what do you want for dinner tonight? I'll make it for you."
Ji Hanchuan turned to stare at him. "Peaches?"
Shi Wei: ...
I think I saw that description in those comments just now.
But how could Ji Hanchuan possibly be paying attention to me?
It must be a coincidence.
"Sure, I'll order some online right now. What else do you want, hubby?"
"Anything's fine." Ji Hanchuan's thin lips parted slightly. "Your Majesty..."
Shi Wei: ...
I'm not embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed at all. How could someone who's already socially dead possibly be embarrassed?
"Don't make fun of me, hubby. Those netizens were just talking nonsense." Shi Wei sounded indignant. "My rival must have bought that trending topic to smear me!"
Ji Hanchuan asked, "Which Z-lister is your rival?"
Shi Wei suppressed the urge to smash Ji Hanchuan's stupid head in and hugged his arm. "Hubby, why were you paying attention to my ad? Could it be that you..."
Ji Hanchuan's handsome face stiffened.
"Want to buy jeans?"
Ji Hanchuan: ...
He pondered for a moment before saying, "Shi Wei, you have to tell me before you shoot ads like this from now on."
"I did tell you."
"But you didn't tell me what it involved," Ji Hanchuan said. "Or that you weren't wearing a shirt."
Shi Wei was puzzled. "It's not like I'm a woman."
Ji Hanchuan frowned. "It has nothing to do with gender. It's too suggestive."
"Could you be..." Understanding dawned on Shi Wei's face. "Jealous?"
Ji Hanchuan lowered his eyes to look at him. Shi Wei hadn't hidden the smugness or amusement on his face at all.
Shi Wei shook Ji Hanchuan's arm and said bashfully, "Don't be jealous, hubby. You have so many fans. I'm sure they'll compliment your figure too."
-"Pfft, hahaha! I really don't think any netizens have ever worshipped this bastard's figure! No wonder he's so mad!"
Ji Hanchuan: ...
"You have a good figure?"
Shi Wei twisted his waist. "Haven't you seen the photos, hubby? Don't you think I look good?"
Ji Hanchuan assessed him calmly. "You eat so much, but your waist is still so thin. You might have worms."
Shi Wei was stunned for a full five seconds before he found his voice. "Huh?"
"And your bottom." Ji Hanchuan studied it with particular seriousness and care for a long while. "Is it really a peach? Isn't it just sagging?"
Shi Wei couldn't believe it. "S-sagging?"
What kind of bullshit straight-guy comment was that?!
Ji Hanchuan patted his shoulder. "Go see a doctor as soon as possible."
Shi Wei stared at him incredulously. "Ji Hanchuan, are you serious?"
He was so angry that even his form of address had changed.
"Mm."
Shi Wei's fists clenched.
Fine. My dark iron cleaver is drawing blood tonight!
Ji Hanchuan looked at him with a half smile. "It's all right. I'll go to the hospital with you tomorrow."
"I'll fight you to the death!"
Shi Wei lunged at Ji Hanchuan like a starving wolf pouncing on its prey.
Ji Hanchuan hadn't expected him to charge over. Not wanting him to get hurt, he didn't move away, but he never could have expected Shi Wei to have so much force behind him-
Thud!
Their foreheads slammed hard together.
A burst of pain sent stars swimming before both their eyes.
"Oww..."
Shi Wei clutched his forehead, whimpering in pain like a little animal.
"It hurts so much! It's all your fault!"
Ji Hanchuan hurriedly carried him to the couch. "Move your hands and let me look."
Shi Wei lowered his hands. "Is my big, clever head still intact?"
"..."
Ji Hanchuan examined him carefully. There was nothing on his forehead apart from a red mark.
"Why is your head so hard? Are you that jealous of me? You even want to disfigure me?"
"Still so eloquent. Looks like that big head of yours is fine." Ji Hanchuan moved back and leaned against the couch, touching his own forehead.
It hurt.
Seeing his pained expression, Shi Wei asked cautiously, "Hubby, is your little head okay?"
Seeing how nervous he was, Ji Hanchuan said mildly, "Your headbutt probably won't make me an idiot."
"Who told you to insist on making me mad?!" Shi Wei said angrily.
Despite his angry words, Shi Wei still went to the fridge and found two chilled drinks, wrapped them in dry towels, and gave them one each to hold against their foreheads.
The two of them sat on the couch with their heads tilted back and chilled drinks balanced against their foreheads.
It made a lively, comical picture.
Ji Hanchuan turned his head slightly to look at him. "You knew I was talking nonsense, so why get angry?"
Shi Wei's anger had already faded. He said weakly, "The blow was too much. I lost my mind."
Everyone online was praising him. Only that bastard Ji Hanchuan criticized him, and in such nasty terms, too.
Shi Wei turned around, presenting his back to Ji Hanchuan.
"This is my very first endorsement..."