Gu Yichen's mother clearly hadn't said a word.
Yet, for some reason, his father acted as though she had hit a raw nerve.
He suddenly launched into a hysterical tirade:
"My children already have your surname, Gu. What more do you want?"
"Gu Yuanqiu, let me tell you, I'm four years younger than you! I was young and strong when I married into the Gu family! You got the better end of the deal!"
"Yes, I'm just the Gu family's live-in son-in-law. To outsiders, I don't have to do anything all day except sail around on a yacht, living what looks like a comfortable life."
"But it's nothing of the sort! Do you know what I sacrificed for you?"
"I sacrificed the most important thing a man has-his self-respect!"
"All these years, I haven't even dared to go to class reunions, because I'm afraid they'll laugh at me!"
Gu Yichen's mother, Gu Yuanqiu, had remained silent until now. She took a deep breath and soothed him. "All right, all right. We came to this island for a vacation today, and our son is still filming his show. The cameraman could follow him here any minute. Let's not talk about this right now."
Gu Yichen's father refused to let it go. "So what? You're afraid of being laughed at? I'm not! Gu Yuanqiu, let me tell you, I've had more than enough of putting up with you!"
"A domineering woman like you-so what if you can make money? Who else would want you besides me?"
Gu Yuanqiu's eyes reddened. "Since you're so unhappy, sign the divorce agreement with me."
Gu Yichen's father snorted. "I won't agree to a divorce! Not unless I get half the Gu family's assets! Give me half the shares in the Gu Group!"
Gu Yuanqiu looked helpless. "What gives you the right to demand half the business my parents built with their own hands?"
Gu Yichen's father said, "A live-in son-in-law is half a son. Why shouldn't your parents give their half-son a share of the money?"
Gu Yichen tried to persuade his mother again. "Mom, apologize to Dad..."
Gu Yuanqiu gave her son a wounded look.
She seemed unable to understand why no one was on her side.
Earlier, the cameraman hadn't been able to find Gu Yichen, so none of what was happening on his end had been livestreamed.
Now that it was being broadcast, the viewers immediately discovered something extraordinary!
[Gu Yuanqiu? The heiress of the Gu Medical Group?]
[Oh my god! Gu Yichen is her son? He's pretending to be poor? His real identity is actually the young heir to the Gu Medical Group? Aaaah, suddenly I think he's the most charming male contestant!]
[Boohoo, young master! Spare a glance for this old servant!]
[Girls, wake up! A rich man pretending to be poor is even more disgusting than a poor man pretending to be rich! At least when a poor man slaps his own face swollen to look well-fed, he's only hurting himself. But when a rich man pretends to be poor, spends your money, tricks you into giving, and then claims all high and mighty that he's testing you, you're the one getting hurt!]
[Gu Yichen is actually helping his kept-man father bully her? What a piece of shit!]
Su Mian listened to the family arguing.
Wait, wasn't this a kept man gaslighting his female meal ticket?
And was there something wrong with Gu Yichen?
His dad was already pointing right in his mom's face and berating her, yet he was still taking his dad's side and telling his mom to apologize?
It seemed Gu Yichen really felt for his father.
That much had been clear from the test that morning.
She had merely suggested offhand that the production team add a live-in son-in-law storyline, and Gu Yichen's Disgust Points had skyrocketed.
Then... if she suddenly jumped out now and pointed right in his father's face and cursed him out...
Wouldn't she max out his Disgust Points in no time?
Su Mian rolled up her sleeves, just about to leap out and get to work.
But Fang Nuonuo actually appeared from the other side!
Was she trying to steal her kill?
Su Mian could only retreat for the moment and see what she wanted to do.
Fang Nuonuo walked over to Gu Yichen and greeted him with a smile. "Hi, Gu Yichen. So you're here. And these two are?"
Gu Yichen forced a smile. "My parents."
Fang Nuonuo greeted them with a sweet smile. "Hello, Uncle and Auntie."
Gu Yuanqiu and Gu Yichen's father had only just been arguing and couldn't settle their emotions so quickly. Neither spoke.
Fang Nuonuo looked a little hurt and flustered, and hurriedly asked Gu Yichen, "Mr. Gu, did I come at a bad time?"
Gu Yichen shook his head without speaking.
Not wanting her son's friend to witness this embarrassing scene, Gu Yuanqiu forced a smile. "It's fine. It has nothing to do with you. His father and I are getting divorced."
"What? Uncle and Auntie, you're getting divorced?"
Fang Nuonuo's eyes actually reddened.
She hurriedly rubbed her eyes. "Sorry, I'm so sorry. I just thought of my own parents..."
"My parents also suddenly decided to divorce in middle age. After spending half their lives as husband and wife, they became strangers. It really hurt me deeply."
"I hope you two can think of Gu Yichen too, and not get divorced. Could you?"
In fact, Fang Nuonuo had also been secretly watching for quite a while.
She could plainly see that Gu Yichen sided with his father.
And his father had said, "I won't agree to a divorce unless..."
That proved he subconsciously didn't want a divorce. All the harsh conditions that followed were meant to pressure Gu Yichen's mother into staying married.
That was why she had come over to offer those words of persuasion.
She stole a glance at Gu Yichen, thinking her sweet, considerate behavior would make him see her in a new light.
But Gu Yichen remained expressionless and said nothing.
Fang Nuonuo's heart sank...
Had she failed to say the right thing?
Just then, Gu Yichen's father suddenly said to Gu Yuanqiu, "Exactly. Why don't you just drop the divorce? Divorce hurts the children!"
Gu Yuanqiu remained silent.
Su Mian couldn't stand it anymore.
This man was clearly living off a woman while throwing his weight around!
And Gu Yuanqiu, the Gu family's heiress, actually didn't know how to curse someone out!
She jumped straight in front of Gu Yuanqiu and did the cursing for her:
"Hurry up and sign the divorce papers, then get lost!"
"The more useless a man is, the more he throws his weight around at home. You've really mastered living off a woman while acting like you're the boss!"
"You beggar, why don't you piss yourself a mirror and take a look? You think you deserve to be with Miss Gu?"
"After all these years, you're still just as useless!"
"Hah! Live-in son-in-law! From now on, when you return to the Gu house, don't you dare use the front door. Crawl through the dog hole!"
[Hahaha, oh my god, she's got a whole arsenal of lines! Just how many Dragon King live-in son-in-law dramas has she watched?]
[I'd rather watch Su Mian urge them to split than Fang Nuonuo urge them to reconcile!]
[Heh, Goddess Nuonuo is clearly the understanding one. Everything she's doing is to keep a family whole. Your jealousy of Goddess Nuonuo is laid bare in every word you type. I would never marry women like you!]
[Zero people care.]
That was right. Su Mian had learned all those lines from the villains in the Crooked-Mouthed Dragon King series she usually watched.
Ever since finishing her three vaccine shots, she had been especially fond of that series.
The formula was this: the villains insulted the live-in son-in-law.
Once they had beaten him down to the point where he couldn't take it anymore, a crowd of men in black would rush out.
Those men in black would drop to their knees before the live-in son-in-law.
"Welcome, Young Master/Dragon King/Heavenly King/Palace Master...!"
Then his wife's entire family would fall to their knees before him, crying and begging him for another chance!
Back to the present.
Su Mian's speech left Gu Yuanqiu feeling refreshed from head to toe, and her gaze brimmed with admiration as she looked at her.
Meanwhile, Gu Yichen's father had been verbally cornered until he had only one classic line left. "Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west. Don't you bully..."
Su Mian said, "All right, all right. Can we stop recycling old memes? Just fast-forward to the tomb robber's tears."
[Don't bully a poor middle-aged man, don't bully a poor old man, respect the dead, the tomb robber's tears... Help, when will I ever be able to see this sequence without laughing...]
[Why hasn't anyone rushed out to say, "Welcome home, Dragon King"? Don't these shows usually end with that scene?]
But there was no twist involving Gu Yichen's father.
He simply stormed off in a rage.
Su Mian was thoroughly satisfied.
She had pointed right in his beloved father's face and humiliated him. Gu Yichen surely had to loathe her now.
She tapped to check the Disgust Points panel.
Su Mian's smile vanished in an instant!