More than a month had passed since the accident. On the surface, everything seemed normal with Zhao Pingchuan: he went to and from work on time every day. But Ji Ran knew the car accident had still left him with deep psychological scars.
Whenever he woke from a nightmare, he would quietly calm himself down alone, trying not to wake Ji Ran. But even he didn't know how heartbreaking the words he murmured in his sleep were.
His voice was soft, but every word carried such weight.
"Ranran, don't go. Don't leave me."
"Don't you want me anymore either?"
"Ranran."
"Ranran, take me with you."
Ji Ran opened his eyes and saw the tear tracks at the corners of Zhao Pingchuan's eyes reflecting the moonlight outside the window in the darkness. He didn't know what to do and could only answer softly, over and over: "I'm not going anywhere, ge. I'll always stay with you."
During the day, Ji Ran had also tentatively brought it up, but Zhao Pingchuan's reaction had been ordinary.
He made no secret of his hatred for Gu Xingye, nor did he deny that the events of that day still frightened him. He even used it to get a few little perks for himself, taking advantage of Ji Ran's concern to ask for kisses and hugs.
Every time Ji Ran was coaxed into kissing him, Zhao Pingchuan acted delighted, as though he'd gotten the best deal in the world. It often made Ji Ran think the Zhao Pingchuan plagued by nightmares was just his imagination.
But he knew it wasn't. Zhao Pingchuan was terrified of being left behind; he simply used every bit of restraint he had to disguise it. A disguise that was half true and half false was the hardest to see through.
Ji Ran smiled and played along, all the while wondering how he could make Zhao Pingchuan feel secure.
By chance, he saw the date on his phone, and an idea suddenly came to him.
At dinner, Ji Ran asked, "Ge, do you know what day it is the day after tomorrow?"
Zhao Pingchuan answered without a moment's hesitation. "It's the fourth anniversary of the day we met."
He remembered, just as Ji Ran had expected. A sweetness filled his heart.
"Then I want to celebrate our anniversary," he said.
Zhao Pingchuan readily agreed. "Of course. How do you want to celebrate?"
They had celebrated their anniversaries in previous years too. Gifts and a big meal were a must, while everything else depended on their mood.
But this year's anniversary had taken on a different meaning, because they were lovers now.
Ji Ran smiled playfully. "Let's go look at houses."
Given Zhao Pingchuan's current net worth, no one would believe he was still renting a place in an ordinary residential complex like this. But neither of them cared much about material comforts, and they had grown used to living there, so they hadn't moved.
Ji Ran gazed earnestly at Zhao Pingchuan, his eyes bright, and shared his hopes for the future. "Let's buy a place of our own and put both our names on the property deed."
Same-sex marriages couldn't be registered in China, but with both their names on the property deed, it would be their shared home.
Zhao Pingchuan's eyes lit up too. The suggestion was far too appealing to him, and he immediately agreed. "Okay, we'll go look at places the day after tomorrow."
Ji Ran beamed. "Then it's settled."
As it turned out, even without considering the price, looking for a home within a limited area was exhausting. They spent the whole day running around and only saw five or six places, and that was after narrowing down the options beforehand.
Because it mattered so much to them, they wanted every detail to be perfect and looked especially carefully. If they didn't like the natural light or the layout, or if the floor was too high or too low, they passed. Those without any obvious problems were kept for comparison.
At five in the afternoon, they finally finished their schedule for the day. The first thing they did was drive home.
Ji Ran slumped on the sofa, unwilling to move. "Buying a house is exhausting."
Zhao Pingchuan smiled and sat down beside him, giving his calves a massage. "Thanks for all your effort."
Ji Ran smiled again. "It was tiring, but it was worth it! Let's set a time to see the remaining places."
Zhao Pingchuan readily agreed.
With that to look forward to, even the wait felt full of hope.
They ordered dinner from a restaurant because they had no energy left to cook, but didn't want to settle for a makeshift meal. The dishes covered the table.
The doorbell suddenly rang again. Ji Ran asked in confusion, "Is there something that hasn't arrived yet?"
Zhao Pingchuan went to answer the door. "It should be something I ordered."
Ji Ran watched him take a huge bouquet of red roses from the delivery person. There seemed to be ninety-nine of them, their large blossoms lush and vibrant.
He handed the roses to Ji Ran with a faint smile. "Happy anniversary."
Ji Ran's face grew a little warm at the sight of the roses. "I'm not a girl. Why did you get me so many roses?"
Zhao Pingchuan shook his head slightly. "Roses aren't just for girls. They're perfect for a day like today."
A huge smile spread across Ji Ran's face. He nodded emphatically, cradled the roses as though they were a treasure, and placed them beside the dining table, adding to the atmosphere in the room.
Ji Ran raised his glass and said with a smile, "Everything before was only the prologue."
Zhao Pingchuan raised his glass and clinked it against Ji Ran's. "The rest of our lives lies ahead."
They smiled at each other and drained their glasses.
After dinner, Zhao Pingchuan took it upon himself to clean up the kitchen. He said to Ji Ran, "We've had a tiring day. Let's get some rest early."
Ji Ran leaned against the wall nearby, watching him with a smile. At his words, he nodded. "Then I'll go shower first."
It was hot even on a summer night, so Ji Ran gave his hair a quick blast with the hair dryer before coming out. Zhao Pingchuan had finished up too. He glanced at Ji Ran's half-dry hair and seemed reasonably satisfied.
Ji Ran pushed him toward the bathroom. "Ge, go shower too. I have something to tell you afterward."
He was acting so mysterious that he must have another little surprise for him. Zhao Pingchuan answered indulgently, "All right, wait for me."
He took a shower and pushed open the door, only to find the living room completely dark. He called out, "Ranran?"
Ji Ran's voice came from the bedroom. "Ge, I'm in here."
Did he turn off the lights first to create a sense of mystery? Zhao Pingchuan wondered. But it wasn't either of their birthdays, so Ji Ran probably hadn't prepared a cake and candles.
He walked toward the bedroom, the only room with a light on.
To his surprise, everything in the bedroom was as usual. There were no streamers or decorative lights, and no music playing. As far as he could see, there was nothing resembling a gift box either.
Only Ji Ran sat on the edge of the bed in his pajamas, looking at him with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.
He noticed Ji Ran secretly clutching the bedsheet. Was he nervous?
A hint of amusement flashed in Zhao Pingchuan's eyes. This little fool couldn't hide a thing.
He sat down beside Ji Ran, and the mattress dipped slightly under the added weight. "What did you want to tell me?" he asked.
Ji Ran tightened his grip on the bedsheet, but he kept smiling and looked steadily at Zhao Pingchuan. "I have a gift I want to give you."
Just as he'd thought. Zhao Pingchuan pinched the tip of his nose and asked with amusement, "What gift has you so nervous?"
Ji Ran took a deep breath before slowly saying what he wanted to say:
"This gift..."
"is..."
"me."