Self-Destructive Tendency

After everything was settled, Tang Wulin and Huo Yutong returned to the academy with several deans. They crossed Sea God Lake and arrived at the small island in the middle of the lake.

Sea God Island appeared to cover only around two square kilometers. Rather than being flat, it resembled a small mountain, with all manner of pavilions and towers built upon it.

Mu En led them along a stone path toward the center of Sea God Island. When they reached the mountaintop, a three-story building appeared before them.

The building looked entirely unremarkable, but a black plaque hung above its entrance, bearing several gilded words: "Sea God's Pavilion."

Mu En spoke kindly to Tang Wulin and Huo Yutong.

"From now on, the two innermost rooms on the second floor will be yours. You can settle in there. Attend classes as usual during the day tomorrow, and I will teach you at night. It is getting late, so go rest."

"Yes."

Tang Wulin and Huo Yutong nodded, then went up to the second floor together.

When they reached the end of the corridor, Tang Wulin looked at Huo Yutong.

"Yutong, which room do you want?"

"Either is fine." Huo Yutong hesitated before asking, "Wulin, can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

Tang Wulin pushed open the nearer door and smiled faintly.

"Come on, let's talk inside."

The rooms in Sea God's Pavilion were not especially large, but they had more than enough space for two people. Tang Wulin pulled out a chair for Huo Yutong before sitting on the edge of the bed himself.

He asked curiously, "What is it?"

"Um..." Huo Yutong furrowed her brows slightly. After thinking for a moment, she said, "It's nothing, really. I just feel like everything has happened too quickly. It doesn't feel real, so I wanted to talk to you."

"I see. Honestly, it doesn't feel real to me either."

Tang Wulin nodded with a wry smile, understanding how she felt.

Two days ago, they had merely been ordinary students. Yet starting yesterday, they had first been targeted in an assassination, then treated unfairly. Just as they were about to secretly withdraw from the academy, the higher-ups discovered them. And now, they had been brought to Sea God Island, the place known as the heart of the academy.

Everything had moved at such incredible speed. In just one day, their circumstances had changed beyond recognition.

It was no wonder Huo Yutong felt like none of this was real. Forget her—even Tang Wulin suspected that he might wake up tomorrow morning and discover it had all been a dream.

"There's something else I want to know." After hesitating for a moment, Huo Yutong asked, "Why did you think of resisting the academy? It never even occurred to me at the time."

Afraid that Tang Wulin might misunderstand, she hurriedly added, "Ah, I'm not saying you did anything wrong, Wulin. I'm just surprised. Why didn't I have thoughts like yours?"

She was deeply confused. Looking back, Tang Wulin's actions had undoubtedly been correct. But when it was happening, why had she not had even a trace of the same thought?

Tang Wulin's expression turned somewhat sorrowful at her question.

He did know the answer.

"I think it's probably because you don't truly understand how to love yourself."

Huo Yutong froze.

"What do you mean?"

She thought she already valued herself enough.

Tang Wulin sighed.

"Actually, I've had this feeling for a while now. Yutong, you really take your own affairs too lightly."

Whether it was overextending her Spiritual Power during class to help Tang Wulin win, or being more badly injured during the Assassination Incident yet constantly regretting that she had failed to protect him...

She had always placed the concerns of those she cared about above her own.

If Wang Dong had not resisted because she was blinded by greed, with the key being that the pills were valuable enough, then Huo Yutong had not resisted because she felt her own life was worthless. The key was how little she valued her own life.

She had a mild Self-Destructive Tendency. She simply did not take her own life seriously. Tang Wulin even suspected that if someone told her she could trade her life for the destruction of the Duke's Mansion, she would agree without hesitation.

Tang Wulin believed that the root of this mindset lay in her childhood environment.

Other than her mother, no one had valued her. No one had regarded her as important. So, subconsciously, she had placed herself in a very low position.

Though she consciously valued her dignity and hated being insulted by others, even she herself looked down on herself without realizing it.

Huo Yutong looked utterly lost.

"Even if you put it that way, I..."

Just as Tang Wulin had thought, Huo Yutong did not consciously realize that she looked down on herself. It was a shadow her childhood had cast upon her nature.

That was why she did not know what to do.

Things one could not even recognize could not be changed.

"I understand." Tang Wulin spoke earnestly. "So leave this to me. Whenever you unconsciously demean yourself, I'll remind you right away. I'll do everything I can to change your personality."

In fact, that was what he had been doing all along.

When he learned that Huo Yutong had overdrawn her Spiritual Power and still wanted to keep cultivating, he took her to Shrek City to relax.

When he realized Huo Yutong had no will to resist the academy, he personally took her hand and ran toward the outside world.

What someone said was not important. What mattered was what they did.

Hearing this, Huo Yutong widened her eyes in surprise, a moving light flickering within them.

"So... you're willing to stay by my side forever? You're willing to be with me for the rest of your life?"

"Mm. Of course."

Tang Wulin nodded firmly.

He knew that only gradual change would work for something like this, so he would change her through long-term companionship.

"..."

Huo Yutong's eyes immediately reddened.

She hurriedly wiped them, her voice carrying a slight sob as she said, "I'm sorry. I just cried this morning, and now I'm letting you see me looking pathetic again."

"It's all right. This is perfectly normal."

Tang Wulin spoke gently.

He did not mind. If anything, seeing Huo Yutong so moved by his words made him feel satisfied as well.

Huo Yutong laughed through her tears.

She held out her hand to Tang Wulin.

"Then it's a promise. You'll always stay with me and help me change, and I'll always stay with you and never betray you. All right?"

Moonlight streamed through the window and fell across Huo Yutong's face.

Her eyes were red, and a tear slid from the corner of one eye and rolled down her cheek. Yet she did not look sad at all, because her expression was so full of happiness.

"Mm, it's a promise."

Tang Wulin said softly, hooking his finger with Huo Yutong's.

It was a promise for their entire lives.

Author's Note

Little Lady Huo's affection keeps going up, up, up.

Personally, I think Lao Huo has always had an extremely strong Self-Destructive Tendency.

When I read the manga in elementary school, the scene that left the deepest impression on me was when he told Wang Dong, "Even if I die, I'll bite a piece of flesh off you." The manga made it incredibly impactful. Then there was all that training intensity where he did not treat himself like a human being. It gave me the feeling that as long as he could succeed in getting revenge, he would do anything.

Of course, in the early stages, it was only an impression I had. And as he gained more Companions around him, that feeling grew weaker and weaker—except when Mu En died, when it became even worse. But later, when Dong'er was harmed and Qiu'er sacrificed herself, his self-destruction was no longer merely my impression. It was explicitly confirmed in the original text multiple times, including but not limited to the Mingdou Mountain Range and Nine Blades, Eighteen Caves.

Perhaps that impression was simply too strong. Although Yutong's personality is completely different in my two books—the previous one portrayed her as a possessive woman with a touch of madness, while this one makes her a youthful version of Huo Yun'er—this Self-Destructive Tendency has been central to how I shaped her in both.

The protagonist of my previous book, Lin Xi, brought salvation to the two girls, Huo Yutong and Dai Yutong, but failed to teach them to love themselves. I hope this book can be different.

Also, after giving it some thought, I've decided to create a reader group for this book. We need to discuss its future direction more.

See the description for the reader group.