Her Image Fell Apart

After receiving permission, Si Ming pushed open the door and entered, only to find that Si Jingyu was not lying in bed, but sitting in a chair drawing.

"Little brother, you're here! I've almost finished my drawing. Come and admire your masterpiece. I'm quite confident in my drawing skills."

Si Ming walked over and saw a beautiful woman bowing and prostrating before a table in the picture. Her upper garment was half-undone, hanging at her waist, half-covering her. Her skirt was lifted by a man, revealing a pair of fair thighs with saliva flowing down the inside of her thighs. Moreover, the woman's cheeks were flushed, and she appeared to be in a daze.

In the picture, a half-naked man stands behind the woman, his clothes open, one hand around her slender waist, the other holding a charcoal tuber and sniffing it lightly. His lower body is thrust forward, presenting a kind of mechanical beauty, which is just like the immortal move "Old Man Pushing a Cart" that has been passed down for thousands of years!

Holy crap, it's an erotic picture!

Moreover, the man in the picture looks so much like me, and the woman's clothes are exactly the same as what Si Jingyu is wearing now!

A younger sister seeks personal advice, while an older sister hides in her room drawing erotic pictures. What kind of situation is this? Did they pick up the wrong scripts?

"What do you think?" Si Jingyu asked calmly, as if she were painting a very ordinary landscape painting.

Si Ming examined it closely, then pointed to the woman's feet and said, "Adding another pair of cotton socks here would be better... Wait! Why did you suddenly start drawing this kind of picture?"

Si Jingyu frankly replied, "I was just bored, so I drew an erotic picture to ward off evil spirits and cool my body."

Si Ming was about to say, "Are you kidding me? Erotic pictures only make you feel hot, not hot, so what?"

Thinking back, it seems there really was such a thing. In ancient times, people often placed erotic pictures in books or bookshelves, or hung or pasted them indoors, with the purpose of "avoiding fire."

Xu Wei, a famous Painting School of the Ming Dynasty, wrote in his book "Lu Shi": "There was a scholar who had a large collection of books, and he always placed a book of erotic paintings on each cabinet. When people asked him why, he replied: 'Collecting books often attracts fires, and this item can ward off fires.'"

Another myth tells of a beautiful woman who held a very high position, but was sometimes very irritable. She was served by dozens of maids. Later, she committed a crime and was demoted by the Jade Emperor to the goddess of the stove. The beautiful fire goddess usually wore light yellow clothes, but when she was angry, she would change into fiery red clothes, which could easily cause fires. So people used erotic pictures; when the fire goddess saw these blush-inducing pictures, she would be too ashamed to bear it and leave, thus preventing fires.

Si Jingyu presented such a high-sounding reason that he really couldn't refute it; after all, the innocent are innocent, and the wicked are wicked.

Why does the man in the picture look so much like me?

"It's just your imagination, a coincidence." Si Jingyu revealed a teasing smile. "This is a refined matter for scholars, you wouldn't have misunderstood, would you?"

"Of course I didn't mean anything by it. Food and sex are basic human desires, it's perfectly normal."

"I'm still missing a poem. Can you help me think of one?"

Erotic paintings even need to be accompanied by poems!

Si Ming was stunned. Could it be that he was supposed to write, "Gently plucking and slowly twisting, stroking and picking, from then on the emperor neglected his morning court"?

Wait a minute, these two aren't from the same poem. Even if we were to look for them in "The Song of the Pipa," they should be "A silver bottle suddenly breaks, water gushing forth; iron cavalry charge forth, swords and spears clashing," or "East and west boats are silent, only the autumn moon shines white on the river's heart"...

How come I never noticed before? Bai Juyi, you compassionate and virtuous great poet, actually wrote lewd poems!

By the way, it seems that Bai Juyi's younger brother, Bai Xingjian "Ode to the Great Joy of the Union of Heaven and Earth Yin and Yang," which is a collection of dirty jokes from that era. Each joke describes a scene. For example, he imagines a summer night where a bad guy sneaks into the boudoir of a respectable woman and assaults her.

Normally, one would expect this respectable woman to resist, scold him, call the police, or cry for help, but Bai Xingjian actually imagined the woman "feigning anger to be attacked," meaning she would say a few angry words on the surface and then enjoy sex. He's practically the mastermind behind erotic fiction.

No wonder people say that literary figures are truly remarkable when they flaunt their talents; especially those with literary flair. Their flaunting is far more sophisticated than the crude and straightforward slang of modern people, with exceptionally brilliant word choice. For example:

In the beginning of creation, the great furnace shone with wonder, forging the strong into the masculine and melting the soft into the feminine. It cast the two bodies of man and woman, modeling the two principles of yin and yang. Observe the nature of the man, which is endowed with strength and established by rules; the nature of the woman, which is also compliant and conforming to regulations. At the time of embracing, it was the beginning of childhood; the pupa wore a crimson sachet, the flower held a jade stamen...

Such ornate language is beyond the reach of modern writers. No wonder even Gu Long borrowed from it. In "The Moon and the Sword," he created a fictional martial art called "The Great Compassion Ode of the Interplay of Yin and Yang," which supposedly records seven of the most terrifying and evil martial arts in the world. When the book was completed, "Blood rained from the sky and ghosts cried at night." In fact, those who understand know what this old poet was implying.

With a younger brother like Bai Xingjian, who would believe that Bai Juyi was pure and innocent? Is the saying "one who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who touches it gets stained yellow" a lie? It's clearly a family secret!

Chapter 313 Character Collapse

"Candles light up the night, music fills the air, brocade curtains hang like a painting, embroidered screens offer no respite from the cold. A zither plays the 'Twin Branches,' a golden goblet proclaims 'Joyful Union,' and in the morning, she paints her eyebrows with joy."

Si Ming was too embarrassed to write erotic poems, so he racked his brains and dug out a wedding congratulatory poem from his memory. It was truly shameful for a transmigrator to end up like this on his first attempt at copying a poem.

But then again, what exactly is the difference between erotic poems and wedding poems?

Si Jingyu nodded, then with a flourish of her brush, wrote the poem on the newly drawn erotic picture, praising, "This poem is quite good; no wonder you write novels."

"Don't make it sound like I'm writing erotic fiction."

Although writing erotic fiction can actually produce masterpieces, such as "The Golden Lotus," one of the Four Great Classical Novels of ancient China, even the refined and unconventional novel "Dream of the Red Chamber" referenced it in terms of subject matter and detailed descriptions. This shows that what is vulgar can also be elegant.

Si Jingyu turned her head and asked, "What do you need me for?"

Si Ming paused for a moment, then realized, "Right, what am I here for?"

"... I almost forgot the important matter. I'm here to issue a challenge on behalf of Si Huaruo." He hurriedly pulled a letter from his pocket.

Si Jingyu took the letter and quickly glanced at its contents. A slight smile played on her lips as she said, "To settle things on the day of ancestor worship—it must have been Aunt Mu who forced her to do that. Unfortunately, I have no interest, so I won't participate."

Si Ming scratched his head and said, "I think it's probably too late. The whole clan probably knows about this now. If you deny it, everyone will just think you're scared and admitting defeat."

Si Jingyu was slightly taken aback, then realized. "This method of influencing the general trend through propaganda and public opinion looks quite familiar. Could it be your doing?"

Si Ming chuckled twice, "In short, you're in a bind now. You can only prepare seriously, unless you want to lose to your opponent and break your winning streak."

"Does she really want to win that badly?"

"Win or lose, she just wants to fight you fair and square."

Si Jingyu was incredibly clever; upon hearing these words, she had already guessed most of the cause of the matter and agreed, "Alright, I will do as she wishes and fight her in top condition."

Just as Si Ming was about to say thank you, Si Jingyu changed the subject again. "Speaking of which, dear brother, which side will you stand on? Your sister who takes such good care of you, is considerate and sensible, and gave you martial arts manuals to practice with, or your willful and childish sister who only bothers others and never gives anything in return?"

Si Ming wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and stammered, "Well, Si Huaruo isn't as bad as you make her out to be... Oh, right! Actually, I'm a believer in the Daoist School of balance. Only when all things in the world achieve a state of equilibrium can the cycle of Yin and Yang be realized, ensuring the continuous cycle of life. Therefore, helping the weak is only natural."

Si Jingyu cried out "Ouch!" and fell onto the bed with a very ladylike posture. Then, in a weak tone, she said, "I am a delicate and powerless woman, and I have been severely injured by Spirit Transformation expert. Now I can only lie in bed and barely survive, reduced to a cripple. I think even if they are not relatives, anyone with a bit of chivalry would not stand idly by, right?"

Si Ming said awkwardly, "If you were really a weak woman, how could you be severely injured by Spirit Transformation expert? One palm strike and you would be reduced to ashes. Besides, you won by being severely injured, while the one who was defeated was that Spirit Transformation who was barely alive. How many people in this world have such a formidable record?"