The Big Mek Is Watching You

"In siege warfare on the mainland, magic is of paramount importance, followed by city walls."

"City walls can protect the city, defend against magic, station soldiers, and provide a commanding position. City walls are the core of offense and defense, and the foundation of victory or defeat."

Kang De and Hong San sat on the ground.

Hong San slowly said, "In terms of the balance of magical power between the two sides, although the elves are superior to the humans, Valentan has the advantage of a fortified city. The solid walls, forged using special materials and techniques, can withstand magical attacks. Combined with the support of the mage ranks, this prevents the elven spellcasting forces from unleashing their overwhelming and decisive power."

He used a stick to draw simple and easy-to-understand diagrams and illustrations on the ground.

"Due to the strength of the city walls and the obstruction of the human mages, the elven mage legion was unable to breach and collapse the walls. The Dusk Warband arrived by long-range attack, but they did not bring heavy siege equipment. Thus, the battle turned into the situation that the elven commander least wanted to see—all clever tactics were useless, and they could only launch a direct assault."

"However, even with a direct assault, the elves still hold a significant advantage. Their soldiers are strong, their equipment is excellent, and their morale is extremely high. They are a formidable force that can sweep across the land, while the Valentan defenders are merely third-rate troops. Even if Mayor Nick had made preparations in advance and recruited many talented individuals, it would be difficult for them to close this gap."

He paused here, after all, Mayor Nick hadn't just recruited "talented individuals."

But the silence lasted only a moment before Hong San continued, "For example, during this siege, the elves consumed a considerable amount of spellcasters' Magic Power last night, creating five war golems. You saw the fierce battle today; the elven soldiers climbed straight up the city walls from the wooden golems, and wherever they went, they were utterly devastated."

"If the battlefield weren't so narrow, if the soldiers weren't so desperate to defend their homes, and if the mayor's elite troops hadn't arrived to help, the elves would have captured a fortress within fifteen minutes of the wooden golems approaching the city walls. They would then have used that fortifications, continuously transporting soldiers from outside the city to the walls to deploy and launch their next offensive."

"In fact, even after encountering strong resistance after scaling the city walls, the elves still held a significant advantage. Their soldiers were in high spirits, while the Valentan defenders, though brave, would eventually suffer a collapse in morale and be wiped out. I stayed on the city walls to keep an eye on the casualties, and the exchange was horrific."

"Therefore, when the three wooden golems were mounted on the city walls, the fall of Valentan was already a foregone conclusion."

Hong San's tone was somewhat heavy and hesitant, as if he were recalling the horrific scene when the city fell. Throughout history, war has always been an evil affair. "But no... why is that?"

Kang De shamelessly replied, "It's because of me."

"That's right," Hong San shamelessly echoed, "You saved the people of this city."

While this is true to some extent, the contrast between these two Easterners—one seemingly unaware of humility, the other of subtlety, one outspoken, the other boastful—makes the scene somewhat odd.

Hong San said earnestly, "Who supplied Valentan with a large quantity of enchanted arrows and javelins, enabling the city's defense forces to easily defeat the elven officer suicide squad and thwart their plan to quickly overwhelm the enemy forces and expand the battlefield?"

"It's you."

"Who repaired the thoroughly damaged No. 5 catapult, restoring firepower advantage to the battlefield and not only destroying a wooden golem but also suppressing the elven projectile forces to the point that they dared not fire at full power?"

"It's you."

"Who was it that braved the arrows and went to the battlefield, not only suppressing the elven defenses but also using their powerful abilities to destroy the wooden golems one after another, driving the elven troops off the city walls and restoring the city's defensive advantage?"

"It's you."

"Who laid an ambush beforehand, allowing them to break into the battlefield at a crucial moment? A mere few dozen riders stirred up enormous chaos, throwing the elven army into disarray and paranoia, and then took the opportunity to destroy the last wooden golem, greatly demoralizing the elves and causing them to hastily retreat and achieve victory?"

"It's you."

Even someone as thick-skinned as Kang De found it hard to bear such earnest commercial praise. He wasn't being modest; the appearance of the green-skinned motorized troops was truly unexpected.

Kang De waved his hand. "That's the last one, the green-skinned ones have nothing to do with me."

Hong San exclaimed "Ah!" and then looked disappointed. "Is that so?"

Kang De said in a subtle tone, "... My image is already glorious enough, it's alright not to exaggerate this."

"Yes, oh, no, that's not right!"

Hong San instinctively agreed at first, then immediately shook his head. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant. I meant, those strange alchemical chariots ridden by those green-skinned people, have nothing to do with you, sir?"

Kang De asked, puzzled, "This is a bit complicated... What's wrong?"

Hong San revealed an excited expression. "If it's alright, you'd better grab them too, and their tribe as well... Master, I saw them before, the things they ride are terrifying!"

"Its power comes from some internal change, so it probably won't get tired or need rest. It's extremely fast, far exceeding the speed of mounted beasts and warhorses, and it has endurance that the latter can't match. Most importantly, this thing was actually created by a barbaric and crude race like the Greenskins... which means it can't be too difficult!"

He stood up halfway as he said this, "This kind of war chariot is enough to change the mode of warfare! It might even give rise to a completely new form of warfare and tactics that maximizes mobility, its significance no less than a cavalry charge or a large-scale concentrated use of mages! Since there are two-wheeled chariots that can be ridden by one person, there must be a four-wheeled one! To transport soldiers, deliver supplies, and even equip them with heavy weapons!"

Kang De stared blankly at Hong San.

Hong San had been speaking eloquently, but upon seeing Kang De's demeanor, his tone subconsciously softened, and he even shut his mouth, transforming from a confident speaker back into a subservient lackey.

He said timidly, "Sir, what I said might not be right... but what if it's true?"

"No, you're right."

Kang De's tone was somewhat complicated. "I estimate that those green-skinned things would be difficult to produce, but making something with similar functions, or even more durable, wouldn't be difficult."

Hong San's face showed surprise.

"So..."

Kang De looked at the other person earnestly and said, "If such a weapon of war were to actually appear in this world, would you be willing to try to rewrite the nature of warfare?"

Earth's experience and models cannot be directly transferred to another world. Without air superiority, even the strongest force is nothing more than a sitting duck for the enemy's air force. Moreover, in another world, there is magic, and all forms of warfare are built and innovated around magic.

Even if they can run rampant and sweep across Earth, once they arrive in another world, a mage's Swamp Spell can instantly render an armored force dumbfounded... unless their side also has a mage.

Or perhaps the tank tracks or some other component have been modified using some kind of enchantment.

Therefore, if Earth's advanced combat tactics are taken to another world, they will need completely new and improved theories to support and perfect them in order to adapt to the conditions of that other world... If Kang De decides to do this, he must first solve this problem.

Upon hearing Kang De's words, Hong San jumped up in fright, waving his hands and saying, "No, no, I was just talking nonsense. Only a military genius could accomplish such a thing; I'm no match for that..."

Kang De glared and said, "What's wrong with the Sage of War? He was also a human being. He wasn't born with knowledge; his skills were learned and practiced. Did he think he was born knowing how to fight?"

Hong San whispered, "That's unparalleled talent, like the bright moon in the sky, while I'm just a tiny spark."

Kang De retorted angrily, "How many years ago was your military strategist?"

Hong San thought for a moment, "It's been almost two thousand years, hasn't it?"

Kang De asked, "Am I better than you?"

Hong San replied without hesitation, "Of course! What am I? I only studied his military strategies..."

Kang De rolled his eyes at him. "Think again! If he suddenly appeared here out of thin air, and you and he each led the same army, wouldn't you be able to defeat him?"

Hong San was about to say that of course he couldn't beat them, but the next moment, he paused, lowered his head and thought for a while.

He then murmured, "If the Sage of War were alive today, he would probably only know how to set up camps and deploy troops using ancient methods. He wouldn't understand the intricacies of cavalry deployment, nor the proper use of siege weapons. Therefore, if the two armies were to engage in battle immediately, I would likely inflict a crushing defeat on him. However, with his unparalleled talent and intelligence, he would surely quickly grasp the essence of modern military strategy. At most, within three months, I would only be able to abandon my armor and flee in terror..."

I have reservations about the last sentence.

Kang De said, "But what was said earlier is true. We respect the ancient sages not because their skills were so amazing that later generations could not surpass them, but because they still forged ahead and carried forward their traditions in a more ignorant and primitive environment, paving the way for future generations. Modern doctors are bound to be better than doctors of the past, and modern craftsmen are bound to be better than craftsmen of the past, but this is not because we are so great, but simply because experience and tradition have been accumulated from generation to generation. It's just that the ancient sages with extraordinary talents were born in an earlier and worse era."

He reached out and patted Hong San's shoulder, saying earnestly, "Why look down on yourself? How do you know you won't be seen as a sage by later generations? The Sage of War was also a human being, just like you. His military treatises, his school of thought, and his wisdom were not bestowed by heaven, but were accumulated, learned, and summarized through hard work, which is how he became a sage."

Hong San murmured, "Is that so?"

Kang De replied with certainty, "Of course."

Hong San stared at Kang De, his eyes shifting, his lips trembling.

But the next moment, he squatted back down, clutching his head. "No, no, no, I can't imagine someone like me being worshipped in a temple of martial arts..."

Kang De jumped up and slapped him on the head. "Should I have those greens build a temple of dung for you, sculpt a dung statue for you, and have you worship and pray to it every day?"

Hong San was shocked. "Ah?"

Kang De said fiercely, "If you don't enter the Temple of Martial Arts, you can expect to enter the Temple of Shit!"

No sooner had he finished speaking than Kan Fantian roared, "Big Mek! Is there anything you need me for?"

Kang De and Hong San were both startled upon hearing this. They looked at each other in bewilderment. Regardless of the distance or whether the green-skinned man could hear them, they had just been talking in Chinese, or rather Zhendan Language.

It's my native language, after all, so it's easier to express myself.

How did you tell it was green?

Kang De turned around and asked in Chinese, "Can you understand me?"

The green-skinned guy in the distance scratched his face. "What's the Big Mek saying? I don't understand, I'm unhappy. I can't understand what the Big Mek are saying, but I want to understand too..."

Upon hearing this, Kang De immediately switched to the otherworldly language. "Alright, alright, it's nothing, it's nothing."

Given that Iron Son suddenly learned a foreign language from the orcs during his interactions with the greenskins, there's a chance that the orc might have suddenly learned Chinese... Considering that the results of activating this ability are always unpredictable, it's better to prevent it from happening.

Otherwise, this burly green-skinned creature would just open its mouth and say things like, "Are you a beast? Do you know that?"

That's fucking terrifying.

But I'm a little curious about how to say "Big Mek" in Shanghainese...

The thought only flashed through his mind for a moment. He glanced at Hong San, then smiled and said to the green-skinned man, "I heard you guys really like to build statues and things like that out of dung?"

Upon hearing this, Greenie exclaimed excitedly, "Yes, yes! We really love it! Big Mek, we've got it all planned out! We'll make you a super, super, super waaaagh statue! No! We'll make many of them!"

A suppressed laugh came from Hong San beside him.

Kang De's face instantly darkened—you fucking really intend to do this?!

He said sternly, "No!"

Kan Fantian was taken aback at first, then its expression turned aggrieved, like a child being ordered to stop playing their favorite game. It didn't dare protest, nor did it want to give up. This burly, green-skinned creature muttered like a timid wife, "Why...?"

Kang De then revealed his unreasonable, adult-like demeanor. "In short, no way! Using excrement to make statues! No good! I don't like it! It's bad Civilization!"

Kan Fantian felt even more aggrieved, and his mood visibly dropped. Even the green-skinned men around him, who were drunk, put down their food and drinks, looking dejected.

Just how much do these guys enjoy making statues out of shit?!

Greenie glanced at Kang De and whispered, "But we really want to recreate the Big Mek's appearance. Seeing the Big Mek every day would make us happier than fighting!"

Kang De thought for a moment and said, "When you make statues, do you make them look like me? That's not me at all! How about this, I'll take a picture of myself, print out huge prints, frame them, and make a hundred or so copies. You can take them home and hang them anywhere you like, that way I can keep an eye on you all the time—is that alright?"

Without proof, and with the orcs having no idea what the photo was, Kang De immediately pulled out his phone and pulled up a rather flamboyant selfie from his album—a photo of him wearing the armor he'd first borrowed from the Good Family. He'd been so bored at the time that he'd even photoshopped a background to make it look incredibly dignified. "This is it."

Kan Fantian over, took a look, and nodded, saying, "This is good! But not good enough! Not imposing enough! Not fierce enough! Not powerful enough! It needs to be even bigger! And bigger too!"

Kang De patted his chest and said, "No problem!"

It's just a matter of photoshopping. At most, you can find a more expensive photo studio to take a few sets, and then find an online store to print and frame them. You'll just be seen as a chuunibyou (a person with delusions of grandeur) and a narcissist.

Compared to the world-class, ultimate stench from the Green Squad leaving statues everywhere, that little problem is nothing at all...

The green-skinned men cheered again, and Kang De then gave Hong San a malicious look and said, "Actually, making a shit-carving sculpture isn't entirely impossible."

Upon Kan Fantian became excited again. "Really?"

"Really... but not mine!" Kang De said. "You can make other people's! For example, if someone makes me unhappy, you can make many statues of that person, cursing them every day that they should die a horrible death, that their sons should be born without an anus, and that the next day they should turn into women with [beep--], etc. You can even build a temple specifically to house the idiots I don't like, and spray them with shit and piss every day... then take pictures, make countless copies, and send them back to the human world, scattering them everywhere."

--Well, he didn't expect the orcs 'Power of My Thinking to be able to do that. It's unrealistic for a bunch of orcs to be able to gender-bend someone or curse them to death. A clear example is that he, Kang De, was endlessly worshipped by these orcs, who thought that the Big Mek was super awesome, but Kang De didn't achieve physical sainthood or ascend to immortality in broad daylight, nor was he enhanced out of thin air.

But what if... it might be of some use?

Imagine this: the temple is filled with statues of Kang De's adversaries, like emperors or elven queens, and regardless of their usefulness, the sheer volume of photographs sent back to the Civilization world would be devastating to this person's reputation—how humiliating to be smeared and cursed by orc statues covered in excrement!

Look, even someone like Hong San was so scared his face turned green.

This guy has things he cares about too.

After sending the green-skinned men back to their food and drink, Kang De smiled at Hong San, "Don't be afraid, I'm not some demon, I won't let them curse you..."

--So you're just saying they'll make a statue of me, right?

Hong San's eyes were filled with an indescribable sorrow.

Kang De patted him on the shoulder and said gently, "If you don't want to do this, then listen to me obediently. First, I'll give you some homework: if there were a large number of those alchemical chariots that the Greenskins could ride, would they play a significant role in the current battle? Let's give an idea."

Hong San's eyes looked as mournful as a young wife's.

Kang De beckoned, "Come, come, continue. How should we defend a city?"

Hong San's tone was mournful, as if he had given up on life. "Since you have a way to destroy the wooden golems, the elves will either use trickery or continue their all-out attack, but they will definitely try to overwhelm you with numbers, making it impossible for you to wipe them out. The wooden golems are no longer usable, but small siege ladders and siege engines can still be made..."

Kang De asked, "And then?"

Hong San sighed, "Leaving aside their tricks, if they launch a strong attack, we can only defend. There's no other way. Our soldiers' skills are limited, so we can only rely on superior weaponry, such as the enchanted arrows you made yesterday, or..."

Kang De glanced at the tool who had finally returned and said with certainty, "There are better weapons."

Hong San asked, "What?"

Just as Kang De was about to speak, they suddenly heard a loud bang, like a thunderclap, and the two of them instinctively turned around.

All I could see was a green-skinned man sitting on the ground, holding a thick pipe in his hands, with lingering Mars falling and wisps of black smoke rising from the pipe's opening...

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PS1: 5,000 words! I wrote too much today; if I had written 4,000 words, it would have been earlier... I'll keep at it tomorrow! I must make sure to go to bed early!

PS2: By the way, this is a new book club group, group number 819659792. Please write the correct book title when joining.