Straight Ball

A seagoing ship was a peculiar environment.

To leave land behind was to leave society and the law behind. Against the boundless ocean, a tiny ship was like a mobile, semi-enclosed prison, with its own rules of conduct and way of operating.

Sailing was an arduous undertaking.

Especially for the most ordinary sailors.

During long, monotonous voyages, they endured immense physical and psychological pressure.

There were problems with food preservation, mental health, and physical needs.

The last was the hardest to solve.

Generally, women weren't allowed to serve aboard ships, lest they distract the men and set their minds wandering. So if sailors wanted to take care of their personal needs, they either had to do it themselves or wait until the ship docked and pay for sex ashore.

Yet even Pigeon knew that doing it yourself wasn't a perfect solution, and ships couldn't dock all that often. But the ingenuity of working people knew no bounds, and clever sailors had all sorts of ideas.

An experienced sailor would bring a sheep aboard.

A more experienced sailor would form close bonds of brotherhood with his crewmates.

An even more experienced sailor would... well, that brought to mind a sailing joke.

One day, a new sailor asked the captain how he was supposed to take care of his physical needs. Looking mysterious, the captain led him to a room containing a large wooden barrel with a small hole in its side. The wise and elegant captain suggested that the sailor put his little brother into the hole.

The sailor did as instructed. The next moment, he felt as though he had ascended to paradise, bliss spreading through his entire body until he no longer knew where he was.

A few minutes later, after he had finished, he excitedly asked the captain whether he could come again the next day.

"No, lad, not tomorrow," the captain told him gravely. "Because tomorrow it'll be your turn on duty inside the barrel."

Such chaotic, absurd, horrifying, and downright nauseating conditions were the norm during Earth's Age of Discovery, and were also extremely common on long voyages in the other world. There was no romance or praise, only filth, disgust, and lawlessness.

Things were much better aboard the Penguin. After all, the ship had an extremely important mission: to take the beautiful and noble Princess Tina to the imperial capital for political lobbying. Not only was the ship equipped with magical devices to preserve food, but its crew had also been carefully selected. These sailors were not thugs, scum, and idle drifters seized from prisons and streets, but genuine naval elites.

They had passed political screening, met exacting standards, and could be trusted to remain loyal.

Extremely strict laws were enforced aboard the ship. Ordinary sailors were forbidden from speaking to female passengers, and anyone caught committing sodomy or having relations with livestock would be hanged from the mast. Military-style discipline, generous pay, and the Goths' innate obedience kept the crew's morale high.

But the problem of physical needs remained.

So when they saw the steamy action movie Kang De had taken out, they went wild.

Who could have imagined that the first Earth movie people from another world saw would have this kind of content?

The vigorous action, the alluring expressions, the smooth camerawork, the exquisite close-ups-come on, as if anything that caught the great Kang De's eye could be ordinary! Industry standards and production practices forged through decades of experience in Japan conquered these dozen or so men from another world in an instant.

Their breathing gradually quickened, and their eyes widened like saucers.

Kang De had no desire to stay there.

He nudged the sailor in charge and held up a finger. "You're responsible for keeping things under control. Whatever you do, don't let the player get dirty, and don't touch it carelessly. Got it?"

The man was clearly somewhat distracted.

But the next moment, he heard a sacred decree.

Mr. Kang De spoke to him in a voice of immense majesty and grandeur. "I have plenty more love stories like this, and there'll be other opportunities. But if anything goes wrong tonight, you can forget about ever seeing them again. Understand?"

A dozen pairs of eyes turned toward him in unison.

It was safe to say that, in that brief instant, Mr. Kang De's standing in these sailors' hearts had even surpassed that of the grand duke of Goth. He was practically the goddess of love's representative on earth.

...Of course, it was only for an instant.

They gazed at Kang De with fervent respect, worship, and admiration.

The sailor in charge barked, "You all heard him! If you want to play with your cocks, get into a corner of the tent! If anyone damages Mr. Kang De's magical device, I'll chop his thing off!"

The men eagerly agreed and even gave a Goth military salute.

For a group of men who had been pent up for so long, this love movie had an enormous effect.

Once Kang De had made the arrangements, he prepared to leave the tent. It was unwise to stay in that environment too long; heaven knew whether he might get something strange on him.

The next moment, a voice called from outside. "Kang De?"

The men turned pale with fright. For a few of them, the tents in their pants collapsed instantly, because that lovely, melodious voice was all too familiar. It belonged to the beautiful Princess Tina.

The Goth men looked at one another in panic, like a group secretly watching porn together at night only to be caught by their female homeroom teacher checking their room.

Kang De silently patted his chest and gave them a reassuring smile.

Leave it to me, he said silently with a gesture.

Mr. Kang De!

The Goth men's eyes filled with tears.

In that instant, their lingering resentment and displeasure at having been beaten up the day before shattered completely.

Kang De walked out of the room as if nothing had happened, without a trace of guilt on his face.

It was a skill he had honed since childhood, what with having a mother like his.

In the campfire's glow, he saw Princess Tina standing outside, with the knight beside her.

The girl smiled at him. "I saw you call them away and thought something might have happened..."

Kang De's gaze was utterly innocent. "Ah, well, after that conflict yesterday, it seemed best to clear the air. Everything's fine now. We've become good friends."

In a strictly supervised high school dormitory where phones were banned, the one with the goods was the boss.

Princess Tina smiled. "That's wonderful."

The knight was a little curious. "What are they doing in there?"

Enthusiastic shouts came from the tent. Some men were singing, some were chatting and laughing, and others were cheering loudly. All in all, it was very, very lively.

Kang De smiled. "If you're curious, you can go in and have a look."

"...I'd rather not."

The knight listened to the uproar inside, frowned, and declined.

He was a knight of noble character and the esteemed son of the prime minister. Though he could fight side by side with these sailors and soldiers, even lead them into battle, he could never mingle with them as one of their own.

The princess was quite curious, but the knight firmly dissuaded her. "You are a noble princess, and propriety must be observed between men and women. The sailors' filthy, disorderly tent is no place for a lady."

Tina glanced at Kang De, and seeing that he agreed, she did not insist.

"In that case..."

Smiling brightly, she held out her hand to Kang De. Her slender, graceful hand was wrapped in a white silk glove, giving it a soft, pure-white beauty. "The party is in full swing, Kang De. Would you like to dance?"

Kang De was taken aback. "But I don't know how..."

He wasn't interested in dancing and had never learned, largely because his mother disliked it and scoffed at the various Western dances now in vogue.

According to his father, the only dance his mother knew was called the haka.

As for the beauty of that dance... Kang De, at least, couldn't appreciate it.

Tina smiled. "I can teach you. Come on?"

She tilted her head, her smile as lovely as moonlight.

Surely no man in the world could refuse an invitation like that.

And so the girl took his hand and led him all the way to the bonfire in the center of the camp.

The knight followed silently behind them.

An enticing aroma filled the air. The fine wine and spices Kang De had brought turned the place into a sea of joy, and the Goths swayed in high spirits. The principle that receiving food and gifts made people feel obliged applied in both worlds. For the sake of the wine and spices, at least for tonight, everyone who saw Kang De raised a cup to him.

They cheered and cleared the space, watching Goth's most beautiful pearl sway gracefully as she led the powerful and wealthy Mr. Cathay onto the dance floor.

Some sailors played harmonicas, some beat small drums, and others played instruments much like those on Earth. To the beautiful, lilting song, Kang De and Tina stepped and swayed face-to-face.

One hand held Tina's soft little hand, and the other rested on her slender waist. In the bright firelight, their eyes met, her beautiful face close at hand. The night was very, very beautiful.

They had known each other for only two days.

Yet it was as though the bond between them had already grown very, very deep.

Kang De recalled what had happened earlier. Tina had been radiant with starlight as she embraced him gently and whispered mysterious, ancient incantations. Then, on that altar, he had awakened a mysterious power.

"Kang De."

The girl facing him called his name.

"Tomorrow, when you go to investigate the source of the Black Beast mutation..." Tina said seriously, "can you take me with you?"

Kang De froze. He hadn't expected the princess to say that. He frowned. "It'll be dangerous, especially since we might face an unknown number of enemies... Why do you want to come?"

The princess answered without a moment's hesitation. "Because I want to get to know you better."

Straight ball.

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PS1: First update. The second is coming right away.