Why Didn't the Joker Force Batman to Dress as a Woman?

Cleveland's expression changed.

The knight was renowned throughout Goth for his courage, loyalty, and integrity. He had astonishing bravery and dared to draw his blade against any powerful enemy, but now his face was ashen, and he looked deeply shaken.

"That's... absurd!" he flatly refused. "I can't accept it!"

Kang De calmly remarked, "So you'd rather let Tina be the bait?"

"That's..." the knight stammered. "Of course not!"

Kang De's expression darkened. "Then you mean I should do it? You want me, a Cathayan who could have stayed out of this, to take your place and put myself in danger?"

The knight flushed red. With his strong sense of honor and pride, how could he possibly do such a thing?

In a panic, he grasped for any lifeline he could find. "...That's right, Lady Bedela! She's an excellent fighter, and she's a woman. She'd have an easier time playing that role than I would..."

Kang De sighed. "Ah, poor Lady Bedela. She's only a head maid, yet she has to carry out dangerous missions. Goth is amazing, sending even its maids onto the battlefield."

How could a rigid, orthodox knight from another world like Cleveland ever outargue a contrarian like Kang De, whose gift of the gab had been honed online and at home?

His face turned green, then pale, then red. He looked almost pitiful.

But he had no idea how to refuse.

A knight could be trapped by his own principles.

The princess felt a little sorry for him. She hesitated. "Kang De, isn't there another way?"

Kang De spread his hands. "I can't think of one, anyway... Given how strong the elves are, we have to be extremely careful and use whatever means necessary. We have to take out every enemy at once, before they can send a distress signal and alert their companions nearby. Following that line of thought, we have to catch them by surprise."

He continued casually, "Or we could go with Cleveland's earlier idea and have them set sail immediately, sacrificing everyone aboard so the elves stop paying attention to this place."

That was nasty.

He had put Cleveland on the spot.

Either everyone on the ship died, or he dressed as a woman.

Even the utterly evil Joker had never given Batman a dilemma like this.

The knight was completely outmatched, but his most basic pride as a man drove him to make one last stand. Gritting his teeth, he said, "Even... even if I agreed, there aren't any women's clothes here!"

Afraid Kang De would use his words against him, he cut him off before he could speak. "Let me make this clear: we can't go back for Her Highness's clothes. First, they wouldn't fit. Second, there is a distinction between master and servant. I absolutely cannot wear Her Highness's clothes. That would be sacrilege!"

Kang De opened his mouth, but the knight immediately continued, "I can't wear the maids' clothes either! Their outfits are plain, and you said you wanted me to play a noblewoman, didn't you?"

With that, he looked at Kang De, nervous yet smug.

Let's see what you have to say now.

Kang De watched him quietly, then gave him a friendly smile. "Finished?"

"..."

A chill ran through Cleveland's heart, and he couldn't get a word out.

No, it'll be fine! What am I afraid of? On a deserted island like this, how could Kang De, a man living alone, possibly conjure up women's clothes!?

He swallowed. "Wh... what is it?"

Kang De smiled. "I just wanted to ask: if I can find you some expensive, gorgeous clothes that fit, will you put them on and dress as a woman to cooperate with my plan?"

The knight seized another lifeline. "Wait! I just remembered something! I'm a man, after all. Even if I dressed as a woman, I wouldn't look much like one! The elves would notice something was off, wouldn't they?"

"It's fine. You can wear makeup. I'll bring you a full set of cosmetics and a wig."

The knight was still making a desperate last stand. "My face! The lines of my face aren't feminine either! And I don't have the right bearing!"

Kang De raised his fist and opened it, letting a necklace dangle and swing before the knight. It was the most valuable enchanted item Her Highness had lent him: the Beauty Filter Necklace, which could increase charm.

He narrowed his eyes, smiling like a child whose scheme had succeeded.

"..."

"..."

I was careless!

The knight was so heartsick he could hardly breathe. Almost ready to give up entirely, he suddenly pointed at Kang De and cried, "Women's clothes, women's cosmetics-how do you have things like that!?"

Kang De spread his hands. "Don't misunderstand. They're not for me. I'm not a pervert."

"...Are you mocking me?"

Kang De whistled. "Of course not. After all, you've made such a great sacrifice to protect the princess and keep everyone safe. I can hardly admire you enough, right?"

"You just want to laugh at me, don't you!" The knight became even more convinced of his suspicions and said angrily, "Making fun of others for your own amusement isn't how a gentleman should behave. You can't be so mean!"

Kang De didn't even bother answering him. Instead, he spoke directly to the princess, whose expression was complicated as she tried not to laugh because she felt it would be inappropriate. "There's no time to lose. We should get moving. The elves should be landing soon, and this place isn't far from the north shore. They'll search here before long... We need to relocate."

The subject changed quickly.

The knight quickly followed the change. He stopped complaining and promptly returned to his role. He had sworn to protect the princess, and her safety mattered more than his personal honor or disgrace.

He said, "The boat! If the elves mean to search the whole island, at least two groups will split up and follow the coast. They'll easily find the boat that brought us here! We have to find a way to deal with it!"

The thought made the knight anxious. If the boat was discovered, everything would truly be over. With the elves' cunning and intelligence, they would surely be able to deduce a great deal of information from it.

When that happened, their only option would be to set sail and flee, only to die at sea.

He no longer cared about dressing as a woman. He immediately grabbed Kang De's arm. "Mr. Kang De, I'm afraid we'll need to ask your animal friends for help. We must go to the shore at once, carry the boat onto land, and hide it somewhere the elves won't easily find it... Burning or smashing it would leave traces!"

Kang De shook his head. "There's no need. I'll take care of it. Don't worry."

The knight was still uneasy. "But..."

Kang De raised his voice a little. "Enough. I said, listen to me!"

The princess also said softly, "Knight, trust Kang De. He's caught up in this himself and would never gamble with his own life. We don't know the situation here, so let's follow his lead."

The knight hesitated for a moment, then slowly nodded.

"That's more like it."

He snapped his fingers and said to Pigeon, "Second Senior Brother told you where that rift valley is, right? Lead them there. Kangaroos, you lot follow and escort them. Help cover their footprints along the way so the elves don't notice them."

"A Xing, come with me. We'll go deal with the boat."

"Parrot..."

Kang De pointed at the filthy-mouthed animal. "Go call some seabirds over here and have them shit around this area to cover our traces..."

"Don't shit on the elves' heads, understand? Their bows aren't toys."

He gave his orders calmly and confidently. His thoughts grew clearer, and his words flowed more smoothly.

A vast plan was slowly taking shape.

The first step, the second step, the third step—the general outline had already appeared in his mind.

He suddenly felt a little excited, and a little nervous.

Kang De had never been a calculating person, but after a year on this deserted island, he had nothing to do but let his mind wander. Once a person grew accustomed to pondering things alone, he would involuntarily think this way and that whenever something happened... When such thinking was applied to fighting, protection, destruction, and plunder, it was called strategy.

There was a first time for everything... wasn't there?

The princess and knight followed Kang De's instructions and headed toward the island's interior. Kang De gave Tina the pen and paper he carried. On the way, she would write a letter, and Pigeon would find a seabird to deliver it to the captain on the southern island, warning the people of Goth to tighten their defenses, stay alert, and prepare for battle.

Kang De, meanwhile, took A Xing to the shore.

Extraordinary powers were forbidden in the Holy Seal Archipelago. The princess and knight had no way to completely destroy a boat; even magic couldn't do it... But Kang De could.

Extraction.

His mind spread like a net, enveloping the entire boat.

The boat slowly vanished, leaving only numerous Elements spinning continuously. No one knew where the boat had gone, by what principle it had disappeared, or in what state it continued to exist... No one knew.

Kang De selected the brightest of the orbs.

Element: Water Phase.

Deep in thought, he divided the Element in two, infused each half into one of his boots, and stepped onto the water.

He skimmed across the water as tiny ripples spread outward. His body bobbed and swayed constantly, and keeping his balance was difficult. He lasted only a short while before his boots burst apart. Kang De saw the remaining Water Phase Element stream out and dissipate from the broken boots.

Was it a problem with the material of the boots themselves, or with the way the Element had been arranged?

Kang De had no time to think about it.

"Let's go borrow some space from Second Senior Brother," he told A Xing. "I need to go home and make some preparations."

The gorilla gestured and called out twice to show she understood.

A Xing knew Kang De's biggest secret because she was the one who had first met him. At the time, Kang De had still been an ordinary Earthling struggling to survive. The two had lived together, and during an exceptionally dangerous battle, Kang De had been forced to use his ability to return to Earth and fetch a powerful weapon.

Compared with staying alive, keeping the secret was no longer the top priority.

Besides, she was only a clever gorilla.

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PS1: First update... The second will probably be posted around midnight.