What Do I Need the Internet For?

"I have a plan..."

Malegith revealed a very wicked smile.

Kang De glanced at her sideways and nodded, "Yes, Parrot Dutch, you always have a plan."

"Damn, I almost forgot if you hadn't mentioned it."

The building tilted rapidly again, Malegith said, "Wild West... Big Brother isn't finished fighting yet!"

Kang De glanced sideways and said, "Didn't I leave all my equipment there?"

"Damn it." The wise, noble, elegant and beautiful Phoenix King Malegith, who was revered, praised and remembered in the history books of elves and even other races, spat like a rogue.

Perhaps because she was using the Dairila persona, she felt no pressure doing this kind of thing.

"Don't even mention it! It got smashed two weeks after you left," she grumbled. "That bastard, Kangaroo, can't beat me at DOA5, and she can't stand losing. I made a few jokes at her and she actually kicked the TV to pieces! When she gets out, I'm going to beat her a hundred times over!"

"..."

Before leaving, Kang De took some personal items of sentimental value back to the White Mist World, leaving the rest to the magical creatures, including many snacks, drinks, amusement rides, and spiritual products, among which were the most surprising and captivating to the animals: Earth's electronic and industrial products.

I never expected that 80-inch Sony TV would be so quickly destroyed by the Kangaroo...

But upon closer reflection, the Kangaroo's fault cannot be entirely blamed.

Imagine this: in front of a huge television screen, on a soft sofa, sits a small-headed, burly Kangaroo, awkwardly using its powerful forelimbs—enough to beat up a heavyweight boxing champion—to hold a PS4 wireless controller and clumsily operate it.

On the coffee table in front of it, a small golden Parrot is jumping on another controller like it's dancing ballet, its dazzling claw speed projecting out spectacular combos in the game.

In the dazzling visuals, a pretty young woman's clothes are ripped off, and she screams in pain as she is beaten, accompanied by the loud cawing of Parrot.

It shouts things like, "Die, you little brat!", "You're such a pushover!", "You're all hopeless!", "Watch me, Master Parrot, take down your mid lane!", and "I'll annihilate you all!"

Chattering on and on, over and over again.

After being tortured fifty times, the Kangaroo suddenly retaliated.

Using its powerful tail to support itself on the ground, its two thick, strong legs suddenly kicked out, instantly disemboweling the Sony TV. This was a reasonable and understandable action.

He was more concerned about something else than that.

Kang De perked up. "What's this, England?"

Malegith gave him a sharp rap on the head. "Don't you dare mention other sluts in front of me!"

"..."

Kang De cried out, "By what right! What are you to me?!"

"Of course!" the Parrot replied, "Your U.Loveit!"

"... Damn, even I don't use that old joke anymore!"

"How did I know that?!"

After they finished speaking, they looked at each other, and the Parrot tilted its head. "Where were we?"

Kang De replied, "You've revealed the Kangaroo's true identity and name."

The image of the enemy drawing their bow and arrow and killing dozens of elven archers during the Battle of the Holy Seal Archipelago remained vivid in Kang De's mind.

Not only her, but the true identities of the other magical creatures, like Malegith's, were mostly those of heroes who left their mark on history and shone brightly in their time, yet they were sealed away on a deserted island, spending an unforgettable period with him...

Call it friendship, fate, or a bond, whatever you like.

He was very curious about their stories and legends.

"Oh, I remember now," said Malegith, "I won't tell you."

"..."

Kang De turned and said, "Farewell."

"Don't go!" The Parrot sat on the ground, reaching out to grab his clothes. "How can you bear to leave your little darling here all alone? I want peanuts, I want pistachios, I want roasted pine nuts, I want sweet and sour chestnuts, I want a PS4, I want a Switch, I want a generator, I want a big LCD TV, and I want more..."

Kang De cruelly declared, "Go to sleep; anything can happen in your dreams."

He took a step, Parrot instinctively grabbed his thigh, dragging itself to the ground as it moved, its body moving several centimeters across the soft carpet.

The pair of overly prominent brake pads provide a significant amount of resistance.

She called out, "Grandpa, let's play a little longer!"

Kang De replied proudly, "No, thank you, my fiancée is waiting for me to go back to sleep."

"Damn it, you won't listen to reason, so you'll have to suffer the consequences."

The Parrot's expression changed. It leaped up and landed on Kang De's back, its powerful legs gripping Kang De's waist, its arms around Kang De's neck, and it said in a sinister tone, "Hand over the game console! And the dragon clan matter! You need to hear my grand plan!"

Kang De cried out, "No!"

Malegith narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?"

The Fire Thief, unwavering in his resolve, asked, "What do you intend to do?"

The Parrot grinned wickedly and whispered in Kang De's ear, "If you don't behave, I'll leave a few lip prints on your face and neck. Don't worry, even the Power of the Fire Thief can't erase them."

"--Then they'll throw you right out of the tent, let the elves see how you've been ravaged and abused, and soon the whole world will know you've been defiled, impure, unwanted, a slutty little [beep--], and you'll never be able to show your face again, sob sob..."

Kang De shuddered violently. "Despicable!"

Malegith chuckled and reached out to touch Kang De's chin, "Scream! Scream all you want! Anyway, it's the current Phoenix King Dairila who did this, what does it have to do with me Malegith!"

Kang De sighed, "You're so flirtatious..."

He carried the Parrot around the large tent a few times, just like on the island when the Parrot perched on his shoulders and accompanied him on his patrols.

It's just much heavier, much bigger, and much more comfortable.

Ah, Dairila is developing so well.

"Seriously..." he whispered, "I'm so sorry for those dead elves."

The Parrot curled its lip. "They're all traitors who went out to bully people and got killed. What's there to say? I don't even know them, and I'm not their nanny. What does it have to do with me?"

As she said this, she tightened her grip on Kang De's arm.

"On the contrary, Dairila is still a little concerned... If she hears what that jerk Oliverjia said tonight, she'll probably be so ashamed she'll want to disappear and keep her distance from you from now on. If that happens, you're completely out of luck. You'll never get into her bed until you solve this problem—but luckily I'm here, I have a plan..."

Kang De shook his head and said, "Why do you think about things like that all the time? I don't have those kinds of feelings for Dairila..."

The brake pads on the back have been squeezed together to resemble two steering wheels.

The Parrot lured, "Are you sure?"

Kang De said awkwardly, "... Well, it's just human nature to appreciate and crave, but I also crave erotic pictures, so it doesn't prove anything."

Malegith smacked him on the head. "Look at you, so pathetic! Think about it! She's going to get married eventually, and someone has to sleep with her, so why can't that person be you!"

--Grass.

Kang De was speechless.

He was momentarily speechless, but his manly nature led him to blurt out, "Have you considered marriage yet?! Aaaaaaaahh...

A pair of delicate arms transformed from a gentle embrace into a deadly strangulation in an instant.

The Parrot yelled, "I treated you like a brother, and you actually tried to sleep with me!"

Kang De let out a breath. A man, after all, must fight, and win in every field—including verbal battles, where he cannot afford to be at a disadvantage!

He shouted, "What's wrong? You're allowed to pimp and harm her for your descendants? If you're so capable, why don't you do it yourself? What's the point of bullying stupid descendants? If you're so capable, come at me!"

The force with which the arms were twisting decreased significantly in an instant.

The Parrot's voice, no longer displaying its previous confidence and wickedness, had become somewhat weak.

She whispered, "I... I... I..."

Kang De turned around and asked, "What about me?"

The next moment, the Parrot instinctively let out a scream, and Kang De had already tumbled out as if flying through the air, almost crashing out of the tent. Before he could get up, his waist was slumped down as Malegith sat on him and began to whip his buttocks with a series of slaps—all while shouting.

"You've got some nerve! You've got some nerve, you little bastard! You even dare to flirt with me!" the Parrot cursed. "You mere human dare to mess with me? I am the former Phoenix King! Back then, the male creatures who wanted to marry me could have their bodies chopped off and circled the equator three and a half times! You, a little brat who has never been popular with women and can't even speak a human word, dare to covet my body? You're delusional! Delusional!"

Kang De felt a windmill-like force on his buttocks, yet a strange smile appeared on his face.

From the beginning until now, he has been suppressed by the Parrot, but now it seems...

You're nothing special.

The Parrot seemed to have anticipated this, grabbed him, and threw him towards the door. "Get out!"

Kang De turned his head and said, "I'd like to hear about your grand plan!"

"Get out! Get out!" Malegith cursed. "Go back to your bed, lie between A Xing and Princess Tina, secretly rub against them for a while, and then run back to your damn space to masturbate!"

She stormed off into the bedroom's adjoining room.

I'm angry.

Or perhaps... she was shy?

Kang De sat up, smiled knowingly, and shook his head.

He snapped his fingers, returned to the White Mist World, and reappeared after a while.

They were already carrying large and small bags.

"A larger generator set has already been ordered and will arrive soon. You'll have to make do with the smaller one for now. Try to keep the fuel safe yourself; it smells quite strong. We got you a new TV, three game consoles, a laptop, and some of the latest games. The snacks are here too..."

"Oh right, and power strips too..."

He carried the items over one by one, time after time.

A moment later, the door to the cubicle opened, startling Kang De.

The Parrot, wearing the Phoenix King's full-face helmet, poked its head out and stared at him, its expression unreadable.

He asked in surprise, "What is this...?"

"What are you looking at?" the Parrot grumbled. "I want to go out and chop someone up, is that not allowed?"

"Okay, okay, be careful," Kang De readily agreed. "Is there anything else?"

The Parrot glanced at the pile of objects outside, its tone turning playful. "You're just giving me all this stuff, the culmination of Earth's modern technology? Aren't you afraid I'll reverse-engineer the source of your Earthlings' power? I can do far more than anyone on that island could."

On the Holy Seal Archipelago, the magical creatures were amazed, fond of, and even fascinated by what Kang De presented, but they only played around with it, at most studying it briefly before giving up. The Parrot were the most interested in these things, not only in their appearance but also in their underlying principles and essence.

Because the previous Phoenix King Malegith was not only a wise ruler and a powerful commander, she single-handedly ushered in the Golden Age of the Elves, promoted the advancement of Twilight Moon Magical Alchemy, and was also a remarkable scientist—of course, she was very interested in a different path from the technology tree of another world.

The problem is that even if Malegith is exceptionally talented and skilled, she can't see anything from nanoscale crystals. Kang De remembers the first time he opened a computer case in front of Parrot, the guy stared at the motherboard and memory sticks for days and nights before finally collapsing.

But now... she has regained her former body and has also reclaimed a portion of the elven authority.

There are now more methods and plans for researching modern technology.

Kang De simply smiled at this.

"I've also been considering the idea of the two worlds learning from and integrating into each other. Having your help would be invaluable," he said. "Please share any discoveries you make."

The Parrot paused for a moment, then said, "You're aiding the enemy."

Kang De countered, "Are you my enemy?"

"I am the Phoenix King."

"You, my predecessor, are past your prime. The kingdom is lost, and the throne has fallen to a collateral branch."

"... Aren't you afraid I'll give my research findings to the elves?!"

Kang De reached out and flicked her helmet, making a loud thud. "Do you know them? What's their relationship to you? Am I closer to you, or are they closer to you?"

"Them!" The Parrot stretched out a hand and shoved Kang De away. "What self-important idiots!"

However, the sleeves of the garment on her arms were still the same light gauze robe as before.

They said they were going to chop someone up.

The Parrot noticed this too and yelled, "Not dressed yet!"

Kang De was very clear-headed when he was in a state of understanding.

The problem is that he only truly understands this when he stops treating women as women.

He nodded repeatedly. "Okay, I understand. It's nothing else... I'll be going now?"

"Get lost! It's only been a few months, and you've become even less likable!"

Kang De simply smiled and asked, "How will you contact me in the future?"

"Don't contact me!"

I left the walkie-talkie on the table, and I left you some batteries.

"I don't want it! Take it away!"

"It's quite troublesome, actually. Maybe we can build a base station here or something. Sigh, the internet is the essence of this era. That way, even if you go back to Twilight Moon, we can still chat, video chat, and play games online..."

Kang De rambled on and on like this.

Just like on the island, when he was drunk or lonely, he would confide in the animals around him, regardless of whether they could understand him or not... Now it seems they could.

After talking for a long time, Kang De knocked on the door. "Anyway, the Parrot... oh no, Malegith."

There was no sound from inside.

Kang De paused for a moment, then said softly, "It's so good to see you."

"Good night."

After a moment, there was complete silence outside.

In the bedroom, the Parrot, with its head covered by the blanket, lay on the bed, feeling that it was a very hot day.

Why didn't that bastard bring an air conditioner?

There's a refrigerator! There's ice cream! Didn't you think of that?

"Idiot," she muttered, "What do you need the internet for?"

Kang De lifted the curtain, and the cold night air made him shiver.

The area surrounding Her Majesty the Queen's incomparably noble royal tent was an area strictly off-limits to visitors. Outside of that area, groups of elegantly dressed and distinguished elves gathered in twos and threes, spying on the area.

His face was filled with worry, jealousy, and resentment.

Kang De yelled, "You all saw it, didn't you! Are you relieved now? Huh? I'm out!"

Having their whereabouts exposed, the noble elven generals looked embarrassed. They wanted to say something, but given Kang De's status as an enemy of the elves, it would be inappropriate to say anything. Yet, remaining silent would be impolite, as the other party was a top-tier powerhouse and a strategically formidable foe, deserving of due respect.

As they were arguing, Kang De raised his right hand and gave them the middle finger.

The dark portal opened, and his figure vanished.

"You unfilial son, get over here! Today we're going to use family discipline!"

"Please punish me, Father. I did something inappropriate. You can punish me however you like—beat me, make me work overtime on enchanting—I won't complain at all. And I certainly won't tell Princess Tina and A Xing that you were held captive in the Phoenix King's tent for a full hour tonight—"

"You fucking..."

They left the elven camp and reunited with Horus.

The unfilial son confessed to abandoning his elderly father to the wicked spirit in the moment of crisis and running away alone, but his words were still full of filial piety.

"Never mind, let's talk about it when we get back."

Kang De originally wanted to teach this unfilial brat a lesson, at least to take the opportunity to force him to sign some unequal treaties... but decided against it.

Horus was greatly surprised. On the way back with Kang De, he cautiously asked, "Father, was it fun?"

What are you thinking about?

I'm just very happy.

Although the Parrot kept quiet and didn't give any of the answers he wanted to know.

But I'm still very happy.

And I felt at ease.

It was just like when I first met them on the island.

I am no longer alone.

There is no need to be afraid anymore.

The hidden threat, whether it's the unknown environment or a terrifying Black Beast, allows one to sleep soundly at night without fear or vigilance. The danger still exists, but there are others to face it together.

No matter who the enemy is.

It's so good that she's here.

￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥

PS1: Five thousand words... I can handle it with ease, I can handle it with ease!