You're So Horny

By early morning, the wind and waves had gradually subsided.

Land.

"Your Highness, please get some more rest. I can handle things here."

Knight Cleveland made the suggestion earnestly.

Tina-Taidariel gazed out over the calm sea and silently shook her head.

Storms had raged throughout the previous night as the elven warships pursued them relentlessly. The Penguin had plunged into forbidden waters, and the pointy-ears had indeed dared not follow too far, but their terrifying long-range magic artillery had still fired across the sea.

Trying to evade that vicious barrage, the Penguin had struck a reef. Despite a series of rescue efforts, things had looked grim. Land had already been visible in the distance, so to ensure the princess's absolute safety, the captain had ordered the ship abandoned. The sailors had lowered the lifeboats and let the overwhelming waves push everyone toward land.

Perhaps the princess's devout prayers really had moved the gods. Aside from one boat that had been overturned by the waves, everyone else had made it ashore safely despite the dangers.

In the pitch-black night, they had managed to find shelter from the wind and used the Gaoling magic oil they carried to light several campfires. The sailors had gathered in an outer circle, while the princess and several maids sat in the innermost circle. Half sitting, half lying down, they had passed the most difficult night until the sun rose, the weather cleared, and the storm subsided.

To their delight, they discovered that the Penguin had also been pushed by the waves to a spot not far offshore.

And it was evidently still intact on the surface.

The crew returned by boat to inspect the hull, but the results were not encouraging. After striking the reef, suffering magical attacks, and enduring a night of wind and waves, the Penguin could not possibly set sail again. A few more bouts of rough weather might be enough to break it apart or sink it.

The captain quickly made a decision and ordered the sailors to ferry the ship's supplies to the island in batches: food, drinking water, clothing, medicine, weapons, tools... Repairs would have to wait. They had to prepare for the worst.

Her Highness was watching it all.

She watched the sailors use boats and rafts to bring back the various supplies aboard the ship, while others felled trees and put up tents. They were preparing to build a temporary camp here.

After watching for a while, she suddenly asked, "Where is Lady Bedela?"

The knight captain bowed. "The head maid has returned to the Penguin with the crew to bring back Your Highness's clothing, bedding, and other daily necessities..."

A trace of displeasure appeared on the princess's face. "At a time like this, she's still fetching those things?"

Cleveland remained bowed. "You are of Tailariel's noble bloodline and bear a great responsibility for Goth. Even on this island, ensuring that you live in comfort and dignity must come first."

The princess frowned. "Given our situation, food, weapons, and tools are the most important things."

The knight captain said, "That is true, but your rights are equally important."

The princess wanted to say more, but in the end she shook her head. Knight Captain Cleveland was almost old-fashioned in his stubborn persistence, and she had never once won an argument with him over such matters.

She turned to survey the island's scenery and sighed softly. "So this is the Holy Seal Archipelago."

The knight captain did not reply.

The princess immediately followed up with another question. "Knight Captain, your power... hasn't recovered yet?"

Cleveland shook his head sheepishly. "My abilities are limited, and my battle soul still hasn't responded. The warriors aboard the ship are all in the same situation. It seems all extraordinary powers are suppressed on these islands."

"A forbidden domain... Then the legends were true."

The princess seemed to be talking to herself. "The Holy Seal Archipelago, the Place of Oblivion. There are only scattered records of it in ancient books. According to legend, a gateway to another plane once opened here, and a terrifying calamity poured through. The gods suppressed it all and sealed the Gate of Calamity and these islands forever..."

Her beautiful azure eyes surveyed everything on the island. "In other words, there's..."

The knight captain could contain himself no longer. "Your Highness!"

"Please don't worry, my knight."

Princess Tina smiled at his words, her bright eyes curving into crescents and her tone growing lighter. "Normally, I would certainly want to explore the secrets of ancient times. But now I bear a great responsibility and cannot venture into dangerous places lightly. So don't worry, I'll keep my curiosity under control."

Cleveland breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good... Please forgive my impertinence."

"It's all right. You were thinking of my well-being."

Having said that, the princess changed the subject and said casually, "I'd like to look around, examine the surrounding terrain, and observe the sky to see if I can find anything..."

Before she had finished, she was mercilessly denied.

"No."

The knight refused flatly.

The princess puffed out her cheeks slightly. "I know what's important. I won't wander off..."

"Even so, no. This is an unknown island, with dangers hidden here that we know nothing about." The knight softened his tone. "Even if you're only exploring nearby, someone must accompany you. Lady Bedela is moving supplies, and I must stay here to oversee everything. Please be understanding, Your Highness."

The princess puffed out her cheeks a little more.

The knight remained unmoved and bowed. "Please punish me."

In other words, she could hit or scold him as she pleased, but aside from that, there was nothing she could do.

In the end, Her Highness stamped her foot, turned, and walked to one side to sulk.

The knight straightened up and rested a hand on his sword, keeping an eye on the sailors' work, though half his attention remained on the princess to make sure she did not suddenly run off.

It was only a precaution... Her Highness was kind and gentle. Although she was curious by nature, she was also willing to consider things from others' perspectives and would never act willfully.

"Oh, there's a white dove here."

Her Highness suddenly spoke.

On a tall rock a short distance ahead, she saw a dove standing with its head held high and its chest puffed out. It had snow-white feathers and ruby-red eyes and looked immensely proud.

It stared at the princess. "Coo, coo, coo, coo."

Her Highness smiled and stretched out a hand, calling to it. "Coo, coo, coo, coo."

Sunlight poured down, shining on Princess Tina's brilliant golden hair. Her beautiful smile against the clear sky was like a painting.

The dove flapped its wings, soared into the sky, and sped away like an arrow.

"Ah... it flew away."

Tina was a little disappointed. "Back home, the birds all liked me. They'd fly into my palm to play, and they'd bring more of their friends to play with me too..."

"But now that I think about it... that dove... was a little..."

She tilted her head.

Though it was only a dove, and though it had been some distance away,

she still felt that she had read some kind of emotion in it.

Surprise, and... ecstasy?

She must have imagined it...

She laughed and shook her head.

It was only a dove... I'm probably too tired...

The dove was flying.

Flying very fast.

It charged straight ahead, all the way to the valley, and dropped from the sky.

It was early in the morning, and Kang De had not yet gone out. The animals were frolicking in the valley when the dove swooped down like lightning, shouting, "Coo, coo, coo, coo! Coo, coo, coo, coo! Coo, coo, coo, coo!"

Its cries drew the attention of all the animals.

The dove circled twice in front of Kang De's door and cooed a few times, then flew several circles toward the valley entrance and cooed a few more times before landing on the ground.

Under everyone's gaze, it spread its wings.

It began striking coquettish poses.

It began twisting its waist.

It began tossing its head.

It began stretching its legs.

And with both wings, it did its best to trace circles over its pectorals.

The animals watched its performance in astonishment.

The parrot squawked, "You're so horny! You're so horny!"

The dove grew anxious and repeated all the movements above.

A commotion rippled through the animals. They finally understood, but... they could hardly believe it.

The dove took flight again, circled in the air, and called down to the ground, "Coo, coo, coo, coo!"

Then it took the lead and flew out.

The animals looked at one another.

Then they all moved at once.

The parrot took off first, followed closely by the swan. The kangaroo bounded out too, the gorilla scooped up the groundhog and the wolverine, and the rooster lifted its voice in song behind them.

"Cock-a-doodle-doo-"

It crowed three times in succession, the sound piercing and powerful, shaking the countryside and carrying very, very far.

In the grass, in the woods, and on the hilltops, many furry heads lifted in excitement.

After a while, a door opened in the quiet valley.

Kang De slowly poked his head out and looked left and right.

"Huh? Where did those guys run off to?"

He did not see a single animal.

Though that's just as well.

He crept out and quietly pulled the door shut behind him.

He held a bundle of things in his arms.

A bedsheet, a duvet cover, and underwear.

Embarrassing as it was to say, he had had several dreams the previous night and experienced a physiological phenomenon too awkward to mention.

"How humiliating..."

He went to the washroom and quickly stuffed this "proof of a spellcaster" into the washing machine. He opened the tap connected to the mountain stream, poured in laundry detergent, switched on the power, and started the bulky-items wash.

As for the washing machine, he had deliberately chosen a fully automatic pulsator model. It used little electricity and was perfectly suited to his needs.

Anything but washing them by hand.

The washing machine slowly began to vibrate. Kang De stood where he was, lost in thought.

As the saying went, what one thought about by day, one dreamed about at night. Yet all his spellcasting material over the past year had been Japanese. After all, Western educational films were not to his taste: for one thing, they were too ugly, and for another, they were far too uninhibited, practically like two animals. Japanese educational films, known for their subtlety and restraint, were better suited to the tastes of an upright gentleman like him.

"So..."

Kang De stroked his chin and muttered to himself, "Why did I dream about a Western woman?"

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PS1: Tonight's second update! That makes over seven thousand Chinese characters today... It's almost Monday, so please give me recommendation votes and monthly votes...

PS2: Tomorrow I'll change it to a big... I mean, good-looking cover.