Elves Are So Filthy

"Forward! Forward!"

Steel cables shot out from the Afu and anchored themselves to the Long Beach. Naval soldiers filed out one after another, wrapping their hands in cloth and protective gear, and slid towards the beach.

On the side of the warship facing the sea, the waves surged and churned, and hordes of sea monsters surged in like a tide. The cannons on the starboard side swept across the sea, killing hordes of monsters without even needing to aim. They seemed to have received some kind of information or signal, and fearlessly converged on the main island, their numbers growing ever larger.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

The initial skirmish at Long Beach has ended. The two island defense forces that gathered there have been completely annihilated. The magic device positions that dared to continue firing on the beach have also been destroyed by solar drones, large-caliber artillery, and even precision-guided missiles. The focus of the battle has shifted.

The captain of the Song of Evergreen was loudly directing his men on the beach to speed up their operations. He had been appointed the field commander for this emergency military operation, and his name was Quilion.

"Everyone, move faster! Line up 100 meters ahead! Halsey! Integrate the mage ranks! Construct temporary positions immediately! Our troops need magical support!"

"Clear!"

The spellcasters from the four warships were temporarily assembled into a mixed mage squad, commanded by Halsey, the captain of the Azure Fury, a senior atmospheric mage from the Council. He was known as the "Son of the Typhoon" for his skill in summoning and guiding battlefield-level wind energy using his magic-powered ships to unleash terrifying spells that could indiscriminately attack friend or foe.

Having restoring their magic and regaining their Magic Power, the mages began constructing elemental models and using magical equipment, small magical devices, and crystals brought from the ship to set up mobile positions.

Quilion, longbow at his side, kept his sharp eyes fixed on the direction of the beach.

He knew the greatest threat came from there.

Although the Afu had strong firepower, it was unable to create a fire network that covered the entire island. The number of unidentified monsters from the deep sea was increasing, and they would eventually rush onto the beach.

With this in mind, he shouted, "Faster! Make them go faster!"

His Highness Kang De's thinking is correct; they must occupy advantageous terrain to set up a defensive line, otherwise their group of over a thousand soldiers will be devoured by these monsters sooner or later.

We must do more... yes, we must do more.

We cannot stand idly by with the support of His Highness Kang De and Horus. We are the Royal Navy, the glorious Elven soldiers, Her Majesty the Queen's most loyal warriors. How can we be so useless!

His Highness Kang De will need us!

After all, no matter how powerful alchemical weapons are, they can't completely replace soldiers. Our flexible tactics, strong mobility, and battle-hardened martial arts skills can also play a role, not to mention...

"Captain!"

Before he could finish thinking, several forest rangers on patrol shouted a warning, "Monsters are charging in from both flanks!"

Quilion strained his eyes and saw a large number of monsters surging in from both sides of the Long Beach like a flood, roaring as they advanced despite the incoming artillery fire. He shouted, "Halsey! Fire Wall!"

After giving the warning, he shouted, "Arrows, prepare! Scatter arrows! Bombardment tactics!"

But the next moment, a heavy thud came from behind.

They turned around in surprise, only to see several massive, bright red vehicles crash to the ground. The nozzles on their roofs were pointed into the sky, and powerful jets roared out, spraying down onto the long beach. Soon, a pungent smell filled the air; the aroma of volatile aromatic hydrocarbons entered the elves' noses, intoxicating their sensitive sense of smell—it smelled quite nice, he thought.

Then he saw a raging fire rising from the distance.

The monsters' howls, yearning for flesh and blood, turned into violent screams.

These monsters, clearly from the deep sea, are ferocious and bloodthirsty. They are even immune to electric current, but their flesh and blood bodies are naturally afraid of Flame, especially sea creatures!

These large fire trucks continuously poured gasoline onto the beach, creating raging flames and charred flesh. This spectacle was far more powerful than the mages' Cone of Flame and fire walls.

This dreamlike scene fulfilled Kang De's childhood dream.

Ever since he got his second water gun, he developed a great interest in the piston-like motion and spraying action as a child.

It is often said that war is an excellent opportunity to advance technological development, Kang De wholeheartedly agreed. His technological advancement was rapidly accelerated through water gun battles with his neighborhood friends.

Soon, ordinary ammunition was no longer enough for him. Little Kang De grasped the concept of special ammunition on his own. Adding a little something to the water, or using other liquids directly, would increase the lethality and deterrent effect dramatically. For example, ink, or this or that.

Then he grasped the concept that caliber equals justice and bigger is better, and in the water gun battle with his friends, he made an epoch-making move by using heavy weapons—he bought a pesticide sprayer with his New Year's money, carried half a box of water, wore a children's helmet, and returned to the battlefield with a modified gun barrel.

Incidentally, that time he cornered Xiaoman against the wall and shot her until she cried five times.

The kids who were shot and terrified started buying heavy equipment, which made Kang De realize the concept of an arms race. Since everyone easily got their hands on pesticide sprayers, he understood the importance of technological Bulwark. What's worse, Xiaoman used her large sum of money to buy equipment and started her revenge, while Kang De's allowance was almost gone. He thought to himself, "So that's why the Soviet Union collapsed."

Kang De, learning from history, rallied his fellow budget-conscious individuals, stirred up public opinion, and instigated conflict, ultimately forcing everyone to accept the Treaty on the Limitation of Heavy Equipment, which prohibited the use of pesticide sprayers, a weapon of mass destruction, thus normalizing the water gun struggle.

Following the United States approach described in the book, Kang De began to think of new ideas. He realized that individual combat had its limits, so he decided to take a different approach and use the community's lawn sprinkler system for free. With a water pipe, it would become an artillery position, but range was a problem.

So he started thinking about how to use a tricycle, buckets, and a simple water pump to gather two or three friends into an alliance and build an APC battle vehicle...

This increasingly outrageous game finally met its match with a devastating blow, ending under strong parental intervention. This made Kang De realize the cruel and unpredictable nature of the international community; under the pressure of powerful nations, small countries have no dignity whatsoever, and his Manhattan Project was destined to remain merely a theoretical concept...

--Yes, he wants to get a fire truck.

Now, his childhood dream has finally come true. He not only has many fire trucks, but they also spray gasoline. Even now, let alone in his childhood, if someone dares to do this, the armed police force will definitely be mobilized to deal with him.

Burn it! Burn his mother!

Fire dragons danced, flames spread across the Long Beach.

Fire is a symbol of the origin of Civilization and the beginning of humankind's strategic deterrence against other animals. It can be said that every human being has the instinct of a pyrotechnician etched in their DNA.

Massive amounts of gasoline were sprayed back and forth, seeping into the beach and floating on the sea surface. The raging flames caused great damage to the sea monsters and hindered their advance. Under the cover of this wall of fire and the gunfire of the Afu, more than a thousand sailors finally landed.

Kang De approached the officers.

"You've looked at the map! We're going to set up a temporary camp at the observation deck five kilometers ahead! It's high up there, making it easy to set up defenses!"

Kang De drew a simple map on the beach. "Our enemies are not only the island's garrison, whose fate is unknown, but also the monsters in the sea! After arriving at the temporary camp, I will immediately construct fortifications, arm you, and then I will need you to carry out some tasks!"

The officers immediately stood at attention and shouted, "You can trust us, Your Highness!"

Kang De nodded and said, "That's right. In the previous battle, the heavy magical artifacts on the island left a deep impression on me. Flame-Particle Light Lance, Stone Thrower, and Raging Tide —these powerful weapons of war should be used to clear out enemies in the sea. The scum of the Broken Isles are simply utterly foolish."

"So, I'd like to ask, if you capture these fortresses, do you have a way to activate those heavy magical artifacts to assist in the subsequent war operations?"

Upon hearing this, the officers' expressions turned strange.

The mages, in particular, had somewhat subtle expressions.

The chief mage of the Song of Evergreen reacted the fastest, quickly saying, "Your Highness, it's like this: the heavy magical artifacts on the island, the Flame-Particle Light Lance and the Stone Thrower, were all made by the arms companies and research institutions affiliated with the Arcane Council. Rumor has it that the Council exports, leaving backdoors..."

"You're talking nonsense!"

Halsey, the son of the Son of the Typhoon and Council mage, naturally had to defend the organization. He angrily retorted, "It was clearly the elves who did this! You must have a way to control such a powerful magical artifact as the Raging Tide!"

Humans and elves glared at each other, tense and unwilling to back down.

Kang De said expressionlessly, "Well, the situation is urgent. I don't care about backdoors or anything like that. I'm just asking, do you have any way to crack these heavy magical artifacts and bypass the mental imprints?"

A hint of embarrassment flashed across the faces of the two spellcasters, but true to their profession, their composure was impeccable. Halsey said seriously, "Your Highness, if we're talking about brute force, then of course there are ways. After all, no matter what kind of magical device it is, it utilizes the most basic laws of Magic Power, so..."

"Then it's settled."

Kang De didn't care about any of that. He waved his hand and said, "Then you choose the spellcasters. After we establish defenses at the target camp, we'll immediately execute the plan to raid the target fortress, seize the three fortress magic devices on the island, and prepare to move out now. There are too many people; we can't even transport them by car. Everyone, run!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Horus's voice came through the walkie-talkie on his chest. "Father, the dragon scouts report that the sea monster has landed from another area and is encircling Long Beach. We need to act quickly."

"You all heard that!"

Kang De clapped his hands. "Get moving! Get moving! Just run and defend yourself! We'll cover you!"

Upon hearing this, Quilion immediately replied, "Your Highness, the Royal Navy obeys your orders. I will lead elite troops to fight alongside you and cover our comrades..."

He spoke earnestly and rapidly, "We have the finest archers, all armed with enchanted arrows and clad in woven wood armor. They will fight for you with a storm of fire and an unyielding defense. It is in times of great difficulty that the elven soldiers are most eager to show you our worth. We are the Queen's most loyal warriors, not the shameful protectors..."

Before he could finish speaking, a series of roars rang out from afar.

Kang De raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

A black Phase Gate opened in mid-air, and with a whooshing sound, one after another iron lumps fell from the sky, making a deafening roar. Before Quilion could finish speaking, he turned his head and saw an iron wall.

The cold, heavy, and rugged armor exuded majesty. Two crimson beams of light shot from the eyes of the visor, and the breastplate Cathay engraved with the inscription of the Chinese sun. The armor, gleaming with elemental light, contained the scent of gunpowder and death. They were like guardians of a sacred land from mythology, striding with firm steps, their figures as imposing as mountains. The heavy firearms they held shone with the deep, heavy metal light, ready to rush to dangerous places and fight at any moment.

I... fuck!

Quilion's pupils suddenly contracted.

His heart felt as if it had been struck by a sledgehammer. His mouth opened slightly, but he couldn't utter a single word. This proud, pointed-eared man could swear that he had never in his life felt such an unprecedented obsession with anything—when he saw this suit of armor, his mind and eyes were filled with only two words!

Want to!

What the hell is this?! What the hell is this?! What the hell is this?!

Is this an alchemical golem created by His Highness Kang De? Like those golems in the Arcane Council? Such beautiful armor, why make it into a golem? This thing is far superior to those effeminate, glittering silver contraptions worn by the Silver Moon Holy Guard! By the Moon Goddess! What incredible armor this is!

This is what elves should wear!

Those so-called designers, master craftsmen, and artists should all go eat shit!

So why create a golem? It shouldn't be controlled by boring magical cores and complicated machinery! It deserves the most valiant warrior! Yes! Only a brave and invincible elf like myself can wear it in battle! I want it, I want it, I want it so badly!

So the question is, what do I need to do to have His Highness Kang De forge such armor for me? Should I sign a short-term employment contract with His Highness for fifty years?

His mind was filled with these chaotic thoughts, and then he heard Kang De's voice.

"Alright, lads, establish a mobile defensive line!"

Kang De clapped his hands. "Follow orders. Horus will serve as your battlefield AI. As Doom Warriors, your enemies are never just humans. This strange thing is just an appetizer. You must get used to all kinds of battlefields, get used to fighting bravely, get used to fighting bravely with various support, and also get used to fighting alone without support!"

"Alright! Let's begin!"

Quilion then looked around, and the dozens of iron lumps in front of him responded with a roar.

"I will fight for you, Your Highness!"

"..."

"..."

The golem is talking.

Golem...

No!

Wrong!

--No! It's not! A! Golem!

And it's fucking human! It's the universal language of humanity! And it's Goth!

He was Goth People!

They were weaklings like Goth People!

They were the Goth People we nearly wiped out and made them unable to raise their heads!

Why, why, why!

Just as Kang De was about to release the Grewind Swarm, he felt a powerful gaze upon him.

He turned his head and saw Quilion staring straight at him.

That gaze... seemed vaguely familiar.

It seems like A Xing, Xiaoman, and even Tina all...

Hold.

He shivered, his expression turning somewhat unfriendly. "What's wrong?"

Quilion snapped out of his daze, "N-nothing..."

--hiss.

Kang De gasped, as if it weren't his imagination; he saw something in the elf's eyes...

Tears?

Before he could react, the elf turned and shouted, "Shit! You rotten scum! Run! Get moving! You disgraceful elven creatures! You idiots raised in cesspools! You stinking dregs that even sea maggots wouldn't bother with, you'll only make bread more expensive if you stay in this world! For the Queen's sake, run, run, run!"

The elven captain, enraged for reasons unknown, and the naval soldiers, who hastily obeyed orders, formed a force of over a thousand men that began to move at top speed, while the Doom Warriors, carrying their weapons, began to defend the front line.

But... what happened?

Kang De looked puzzled, then suddenly stared at me without saying a word, looking aggrieved, before venting his anger on the others—it was so much like a tsundere...

Could it be...?

He looked terrified.

... It seems I should stay away from this elf from now on.

Damn it, living a long time makes you dirty.

Thinking about these crooked and illogical things all day long...

Kang De suppressed a subtle thought and asked Horus, "When will we withdraw?"

Horus replied, "In about ten minutes, Father will dump oil into this area. The Afu's hull is being relentlessly gnawed and pounded by the monster; it's nearing its limit..."

"Good."

The Afu was to be evacuated.

First, even with the addition of Paradox Element, the strength of materials still has its limits.

Secondly, even though Horus is a powerful artificial intelligence, its computing power is ultimately limited. Next, it needs to establish a temporary camp and set up artillery positions halfway up the mountain. Horus is responsible for supporting the Doom Warriors in combat, controlling the drones in the sky to patrol around, and then taking charge of fire control for the new camp. It no longer has the spare capacity to take care of the Afu.

"Then... let's hold on for another ten minutes!"

The monsters roared and converged on the beach. The Doom Warriors opened fire, unleashing a barrage of metal storms, rockets, and grenades. Above, swarms of Razor drones rained down, turning Long Beach into a terrifying meat grinder. Every moment, an astonishing number of monsters perished, but more and more deep-sea monsters continued to gather on the island.

From deep within Sea Suppression Castle, eerie laughter echoed.

"It seems he is the Fire Thief."

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PS1: Update... I moved some things to my new place today, so tiring...