Nobody Knows More Than I Do!

The officials and staff in the military intelligence office were stunned.

Like a Hollywood blockbuster, a gigantic monster, previously only seen in movies, is hurtling towards America, its momentum overwhelming, heading straight for California. A single misstep could result in devastating casualties and endless repercussions, plunging the nation into danger and the country into crisis. And yet, the nation's highest leader is saying...

--Great?

President Chuan Abao's face was flushed, and he was so excited that he couldn't express it. He was oblivious to the various expressions of the people in the room and was lost in his own world.

He was laughing hysterically.

"To hell with that old idiot in Pennsylvania! I've got this in the bag! I've got this in the bag!"

A Chuan muttered to himself, "Fantastic, fantastic! A behemoth has invaded United States! An unprecedented enemy! America is in grave danger! It's a state of war!"

"And I am the wartime president!"

"I will command the four branches of the armed forces to defend the homeland of the America and protect the good people who live here! I will become Franklin Delano Roosevelt!"

"But I'm different from him! I don't have polio!" he roared, waving his arms as he looked at the members of the Security Committee and his staff. "I get morning erections every single day! Every single day!"

The people in the military intelligence office exchanged glances.

Their eyes revealed the same helplessness.

--He's started again.

Let him be happy for a while.

There was nothing we could do until he stopped.

However, calming the excited president down is no easy task. After all, according to the former Department of Defense who has already been fired, A Chuan is like an eleven-year-old brat whose comprehension, behavior, and intelligence are incomprehensible. And now, the brat has picked up his phone.

"Yes! Yes! That's it!"

He murmured, "I want to announce this good news to all the United States people! I want the whole world to know that America, under my leadership, will defeat our terrible enemy!"

"Not only that, the entire battle will be live-streamed on YouTube! On Twitter! On Facebook! And even on that damn China app!"

At this point, a mixture of excitement and anger surged through A Chuan's arms again. "I'm going to show everyone how I defend United States! That senile idiot Barry! That old bitch Lopez! That serial killer Hillary! And that fxcking Obama Bannon! Those Hollywood bastards! All the bastards who mocked me, smeared me, insulted me, and ridiculed me!"

"I'll make sure they all see this!"

A Chuan shouted, "How I made America Great Again!"

A tweet was edited at lightning speed.

"I will defend America!"

--I will defend America.

Once the tweet was sent, it was seen by netizens from all over the world who seemed to be in a bad mood. But this seemingly random sentence was like a heartfelt cry from the soul, "China!!!", and was forwarded without hesitation by rednecks with a touch of idiocy. Then it attracted crazy criticism from all sorts of twisted Trump supporters.

"Okay, who is it this time? China? Iran? Russia? North Korea?"

"It sounds like our president is about to crawl into a phone booth and rip open his clothes."

"So, are you involved in the corruption scandal surrounding the US-Mexico border wall?"

These malicious and sarcastic comments no longer caught the attention of the Grand Secretary, who was smug and ready to launch his second Twitter.

Just then, the officials in the office finally came to their senses.

Then- Department of Defense America Eshipo gave a wink to the security advisor standing by the door, who immediately understood, opened the door a crack, and gestured to the outside.

Immediately afterwards, the defense minister stood up abruptly and pressed the button on the president's phone.

"Sir, Mr. President, are you going to make this public?"

Yes! The America people have the right to know!

"... Mr. President!" the Department of Defense said, his voice quickening. "Please proceed with caution. This is not a reasonable option. The situation within America is not good right now. Public sentiment is no longer sufficient to handle such a momentous historical event. This is not in line with our plan—at this stage, we cannot publicize these supernatural things, forces, and phenomena! We must proceed according to plan!"

"The plan? You mean your military, like a pussy, approves the release of a few UFO videos, then offers no explanation, leaving conspiracy theorists to speculate?"

Given A Chuan's psychological state and personality, he would not listen to any opposing opinions.

He shouted, "The plan is mine! Now is the time to explain everything to the people! And tell them not to worry, because I will defend them! I will defend America!"

The defense minister took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "What if the war doesn't go well?"

A Chuan was stunned for a moment. "How could things be so damn difficult?"

Although the United States had been trembling with fear and losing face for decades since the 1960s, and even dared not speak of war, the Gulf War in the 1990s outlasted the bear, America eliminated all psychological Shadow, even taking victory for granted, and never considering what would happen if it failed.

The Grand Commander rolled his eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"..."

Calm.

The Department of Defense said in a deep voice, "Don't forget the setbacks in Comora and Gambia!"

A Chuan glared at him and said, "You mean, this thing was the work of that China boy!?"

"..."

In that instant, Eshipo thought of his predecessor, former Department of Defense, Mr. Ma.

The man was dismissed for some inappropriate remark—he described the president's intelligence and comprehension as that of a fifth or sixth grader.

"Of course not, but sir, the enemy we face is no longer those Middle East countries with no air superiority, outdated equipment, and low industrial capacity! It is a life form we have never known before! This thing is definitely a supernatural being!"

He took a deep breath and explained to the president, "This means we don't know if our existing weapons can take it down cleanly! Even if we're 99% sure, we can't ignore that 1%! What if—I mean, what if—our joint attack doesn't kill this monster, but instead enrages it or lets it escape into the deep sea, or even rushes towards our homeland at an even faster speed, even reaching California, crossing Long Beach, and wreaking havoc in Los Angeles —what then?"

The defense minister stared directly at his superior. "Countless property losses, and casualties..."

A Chuan is poor in words.

But there was no way to change his mind! Just like his reaction after being rendered speechless by his advisors countless times, A Chuan shouted out the words he had said many times before.

I don't foxking care!

--I fucking don't care.

He yelled, "California never vote for me anyway! They're always against me! Let that monster smash everything! It should smash all the way to Hollywood and kill all those hypocritical stars who're always accusing me of pandering to fans! I want to see how they save the world when the monster actually comes!"

The officials in the military intelligence office covered their heads and pretended not to hear.

Only the poor defense minister remained on the front lines. "So what are the consequences? If that monster really comes ashore, how do we evacuate the people, how do we explain this to the nation, how..."

A Chuan, having listened to this repeatedly without getting tired, offered his second famous quote.

"I don't know! I just do!"

--I don't know, just do it.

The president has retrieved his phone; a second Twitter is about to be sent.

--Send failed.

He frowned and tapped his phone. "What—the..."

The defense secretary and the security advisor exchanged a knowing glance.

To be honest, outsiders would never believe it, but the most important job of the White House staff is to deal with a president who lacks common sense and likes to mess around. This includes, but is not limited to, secretly taking away or hiding extremely absurd and ridiculous documents that the president drafts on a whim, or delaying and diverting the president's attention when he is about to make a decision that endangers national security.

Anyway, with A Chuan's memory and attention span, he'll forget about it in a second.

Now, they undoubtedly have one more task to do.

That is, to prevent A Chuan from posting inappropriate Twitter when necessary.

This great task is also "long-standing." Two years ago, some staff members of the White House tried to establish a "Twitter Committee" to pre-screen every post made by A Chuan. Such a process seemed familiar—but it did not succeed. Twitter, this evil tool, has long been a major concern for the staff, causing them sleepless nights and even making national officials complain.

The former chief of staff was exhausted by this. He tried to stop or limit the president's right to tweet, but to no avail. In any case, the private bedroom of the America ruler is inviolable. Chuanbao can hide in his bedroom and post whatever Twitter he wants. The chief of staff, who was outside banging on the door in vain, could do nothing about it and could only rage in impotence.

Thus, the chief of staff referred to A Chuan's bedroom as "the devil's workshop," and the times when A Chuan concentrated on tweeting—such as early morning and Sunday night—were described as "witch hours."

This isn't the first or second time that A Chuan has made a mess with Twitter.

The most classic and terrifying one still leaves everyone with lingering fear.

That time, as A Chuan sat in the Oval Office, looking at the various expenditure reports of the US military, he suddenly felt very unhappy. He found it very difficult to understand why the America would spend $3.5 billion every year to maintain its troops stationed in South Korea—those soldiers even brought their entire families with them, which was extremely expensive.

So he offered his opinion.

And he's preparing to post another Twitter.

--I want to bring the families of US troops stationed in South Korea back to the US.

Aside from Chuanbao, anyone would understand the gravity of this tweet—withdrawing the families of US troops stationed in South Korea back to the US means that the US military is about to launch a full-scale attack on North Korea.

It's easy to imagine that once this tweet is sent out, General Kim will probably start planting the sun in the south immediately.

Fortunately, there was a Pentagon official in A Chuan's office at the time. After hearing about this, he almost wet the carpet and tried his best to persuade Chuanbao to back down.

Since then, restricting Twitter when necessary has become one of the ironclad rules for the staff.

Just like now.

While they couldn't easily snatch his Samsung phone from the president, they could cut off his internet access.

A Chuan's tweets were unexpected, and it was hard to believe that his accomplices had sabotaged them. After all, he was already in his seventies or eighties, Twitter was his only source of information about the world. His favorite thing to do was to watch TV alone for hours, without seeing or talking to anyone. He was such a lonely guy.

Chuanbao frowned and tapped his phone. "What the hell is going on?"

The Department of Defense seized the opportunity to begin a new round of persuasion. During this time, he had a brief exchange with his colleagues and came up with the best strategy to persuade the president to step down.

Because he is narcissistic, paranoid, concerned about his image, likes to boast, loves to show off, and actually has a very strong sense of self-esteem.

He said, "Mr. President, according to your plan, we will launch a joint offensive involving all four branches of the armed forces, and even broadcast it live globally. You want to use this to demonstrate United States's power and your will. But what if the offensive is not successful, or even suffers a setback?"

The Department of Defense used a threatening, guiding tone, as if he were coaxing a child.

"The whole world will laugh at us. Our allies will look down on us in private, our enemies will laugh at us in public, and those around the world who are hostile to the free world—those in Asia, Africa, and even Latin America —will see us as perfect material for ridicule..."

He whispered, "Even domestically, your rivals and opposing parties will criticize your leadership, and even your supporters will be disappointed, believing you cannot adequately defend United States..."

"A new wave of riots may occur, doomsday believers may spread unrest, even capital's confidence in the United States may decline, funds may withdraw from the United States, markets may be shaken by panic, and our stock market will have major problems—can you bear such consequences?"

A Chuan remained silent for a full thirty seconds.

He looked away and nodded, saying, "Okay, okay, then what do you suggest we do?"

The Department of Defense turned to look at the giant monster that was steadily advancing and said without hesitation, "Before civilian satellites and ships detect it, use nuclear weapons to destroy it!"

At that moment, a member of the Security Committee, who had remained silent until now, spoke up, "Deploying nuclear weapons in waters close to United States. territory will inevitably be observed. How will we explain this to the public and the media? How will we explain it to other countries? After all, it's a nuclear explosion."

The defense secretary turned to look at him. "The United States Air Force Global Strike Command preemptively released the information, saying it was a routine test launch, with the launch schedule set three to five years in advance, and each launch plan requiring six months to a year of preparation, and completely unrelated to any events currently happening in the world!"

So, what will happen?

Another safety committee member raised his pen and pointed at the sea monster. "Would a nuclear bomb just shatter or melt it down? I mean, we at least need to figure out where this thing came from, how it was created. That requires dissection, analysis, and research—do we need a collection plan, and a relatively intact carcass?"

The defense minister hesitated for a moment.

Just then, Trump slammed his fist on the table. "I still want the world to see United States's power!"

--Grass.

The Department of Defense looked at A Chuan with a face that looked like he'd eaten shit.

A Chuan was also looking at him, his eyes revealing displeasure and disapproval.

He ousted the former defense minister, Ma, and promoted this one. But soon, A Chuan also saw through the true nature of this piece of shit—during the Niko riots, he actually refused to send troops to suppress them, causing A Chuan to become the "bunker boy," ridiculed by the entire internet, and even daring to argue with the Constitution.

To disregard the kindness shown to them is truly chilling.

--I fired you right after the election.

"We can choose a way that satisfies both sides."

The astute Trump has also devised the perfect solution; no one understands this better than him.

"Double insurance," he said. "This is a great opportunity to showcase United States power and unite the United States people to the world. Your military has been having a tough time lately, hasn't it? Even an Army esports team throwing a white phosphorus bomb in a game gets them universally condemned online. You're in the same boat, aren't you? This is an excellent chance to project a positive image, more effective than making ten Transformers. Besides, we also need a specimen of that guy."

"Therefore, double insurance."

A Chuan snapped his fingers, "The journalists who signed the confidentiality agreement will accompany the troops to film the entire attack by the four branches of the armed forces. If the battle goes smoothly, we will immediately switch to live streaming across the entire network and let the whole world see the entire process of our powerful US military, under my wise command, defeating this alien, subterranean creature, or whatever it is—whether it's Fallout creature or something else!"

"If something really goes wrong, then we won't broadcast it live; we'll use nuclear weapons."

He looked at everyone in the office, his tone leaving no room for discussion, only commands.

Let's do it this way!

The officials looked at each other, then suddenly realized that the idea didn't seem so bad.

The Department of Defense pondered for a moment, then slowly nodded. "You've convinced me, sir. I will immediately convene a combat meeting and prepare for a joint strike against this invading enemy."

He stood up, remembered something, and emphasized to A Chuan, "Please don't Twitter! Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely do not act rashly, Mr. President."

The golden-haired leader waved his hand impatiently.

Thus, the America war machine began to run.

Meanwhile, the Knight Astolfo cutting through the waves of the eastern Pacific Ocean, carrying Mist Crystal and the illusion of a giant sea monster, sailed towards the territory of Earth's only superpower at a moderate speed.

A fierce attack from the strongest military force on Earth is coming soon.

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PS1: 5,000 words -- By the way, I updated 6,000 words yesterday and the day before yesterday, and 5,500 words each for the four days before that. So the 3,000 words I owed have been paid off imperceptibly. I'll see if I can write a little more next month, although the recent plot is a bit difficult to write.

PS2: And let me clarify that the political figures in this article are not based on real people. You can see that even the names are different. Also, the various words and actions of the fictional America president in the article are not fabricated or made up. Whether it is the events, words, or personality, they are all based on real United States best-selling books, some written by Bolton and Bannon, some by Trump's niece, and some by Woodward. By the way, the last one is the influential figure in the news industry who opposed Nixon throughout the entire process and brought him down with the Watergate scandal.

PS3: So, writing this chapter is actually quite emotional. I once thought Trump was a wise, foolish, and extremely shrewd businessman, but the more I read about him, the more I thought he was a bad, stupid, and pure fool. Until I read a lot of information to write this plot, I gradually became convinced of this view - but the absurdity of the world is that Therefore, such a paranoid, crazy and stupid guy can actually dominate the United States and cause us so much trouble. This makes me sigh at the perfection and power of the modern bureaucracy. I can't help but sigh at the rich wealth of the American family. There is still a long way to go. The revolution has not yet succeeded, and it is far from the time of victory. Please encourage me.