My Chinese Heart

A Chuan in the White House.

Kang De on the Lake Huron.

A phone call that could change the future of the Amerikkka.

--Coincidentally, they both thought the same thing.

--But the two of them weren't really on the same wavelength.

A Chuan wanted to defect to the Communists to protect himself.

Kang De, however, only wanted to sow discord and eliminate A Chuan, so that Bai Zhenhua, whom he could control more easily, could take over.

A despicable China man asked with a grin, "Jianguo, what happened in just a few tens of minutes? I heard that our all-knowing president has become some people's little beach."

He's here... He's confirming the situation with me, making sure I know anything about those people.

A Chuan immediately voiced his dissatisfaction. "Ha, it seems those people tried to recruit you? Oh, no, no, I understand them. They must be groveling before you, saying all sorts of nice things, practically begging to turn their backs and expose their asses so that the esteemed superhuman might favor them."

He spat on the ground, loudly and disdainfully. "Just like they did in World War II, first licking the Luo the Cripple, then licking the boots of that idiot Ku Klux Klan Du [beep--]men..."

At this point, A Chuan's voice turned sour. "After all, what these people are good at is flattering the strong. If the Soviet Union were a capitalist country and the Amerikkka were a red country, I guarantee they would definitely be licking Big Linzi's ass... just like they're about to lick yours now!"

Okay, he should understand now!

The origins of this group.

The background of this group.

--And the reason why this group of people will never associate with the China!

Kang De cleared his throat.

Then he began to speak in a very standard Black accent.

"Hey, don't be jealous of me just because I'm handsome and have superpowers. If you changed your ridiculous cornrow hairstyle, injected yourself with muscle serum, got bitten by a spider, or invested in building your own high-tech armor, maybe some rich old-money guys would come groveling at your feet..."

"Even better, maybe Hillary will kick her husband, who can't control his zipper and is dressed as a woman, to the curb and come find you, you slut, while that old hag, Percy, will sit on your oval desk with her legs spread wide so you can see her beautiful scenery, provided that Bai Zhenhua doesn't do the same thing as you and lick them even better--"

He paused for a moment, then concluded with a voice from the depths of his soul.

"Brother Nee--"

The lingering sound resonated and echoed through the air.

Although being called a "nigger" is a very insulting thing for a proud white boy, A Chuan had no time to care about such trivial matters at this moment.

His breathing slowed down as a result.

The aging brain rapidly processed this massive amount of information.

This is not an insult.

This is undoubtedly... an implication!

A type of inquiry.

Although the inexplicable Black accent was baffling, he believed that Kang De would not speak like that without reason... especially since the passage mentioned several important people!

Kang De mentioned these people in his answer regarding "them"... clearly as an inquiry and a reminder!

Hillary, the serial killer, her husband, the old hag Peggy, Sleepy Joe, and even Kang De, who deliberately adopted a Black accent...

--Clearly referring to that guy!

I knew it!

These traitors and collaborators who betrayed Amerikkka have already knelt before those vampires! You weak and pathetic Donkey Party, Obama, madwoman, vile hag, old idiot... you are traitors to Amerikkka!

Although he was shocked, A Chuan quickly pretended to be caught off guard, as if he had been stunned and lost in thought by Kang De's barrage of verbal attacks.

He shouted, "--What?"

Kang De burst out laughing.

He just did it on a whim, imitating a line from Lamar's taunt of Franklin in GTA5, and made it up for A Chuan... Unexpectedly, A Chuan actually cooperated so well.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

Kang De's expression turned serious, and he lowered his voice. "Alright, listen to me, Comrade Chuan Jianguo, has your secret identity been exposed? Comrades on the hidden front have revealed your true identity to me. If the situation becomes critical, I will immediately initiate the evacuation procedure to bring you back to China, back to the warm embrace of the people..."

A Chuan was taken aback, then overjoyed.

--You're something else, Kang De!

He was certainly not a loyal soldier on the secret front, but that's not the point at all!

The point is... if Kang De said he was, then he can be!

This was all too familiar to the Amerikkka president.

--If someone claims that a foreign politician or a cesspool group is a fighter for freedom and against tyranny, then the Amerikkka have a thousand reasons to persuade Congress to provide them with just help and support, and to suppress and sanction their evil opponents... because it's the blessing of freedom and democracy!

Although this time, A Chuan went from being an Imperial Army soldier who "stamped others' buttocks for certification" to a traitor who was "stamped on the buttocks by others for certification," it did not prevent him from instantly understanding the crux of the matter.

Moreover, let alone becoming president, he can't even retire and live a wealthy life. He'll be humiliated and ridiculed by a group of so-called "elites" he despises... Damn it, so what if he joins the Communists!

This is the certification and protection of the world's most powerful superhuman!

A Chuan's thoughts jumped and flashed like lightning.

He had grasped Kang De's implication and intention.

The words of this "China boy" sound like a promise, a form of protection: the Earth's most powerful superhuman is willing to provide personal protection for the Amerikkka president, who is on the verge of crisis, and even bring him directly to China if necessary to ensure his personal safety.

But the problem is, there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Kang De had no reason to help a United States was hostile to China.

Unless... he has the value of being helped.

Just like the things that Amerikkka have done all over the world.

The money paid to so-called "intellectuals" in various countries is not simply to fund their research, but to encourage them to use their domestic discourse power and advantages to set up confrontational issues, intensify conflicts, promote the superiority of the Amerikkka system, and undermine the legitimacy and support of their own regimes.

The money paid to so-called "progressives" in various countries is not because they are genuine democrats, but rather to encourage those greedy and mad dogs to tear and harm as much as possible.

Kang De's offer to provide him with asylum, and his statement that he could be brought "back to his country" if necessary, implies...

You're a good citizen, working diligently for A Zhong.

It's dangerous! I'll take you away. There's a seat in the helicopter; you won't be knocked down by an iron fist.

A Chuan's hand holding the phone trembled slightly.

He took a deep breath and made a decision in an instant.

Yes, just like he said... he's not afraid of being taken advantage of.

I'm afraid they have no value to be exploited.

Donald Trump's greatest value, of course, can only be realized during his presidency.

Kang De's meaning is already very clear.

This...

--Just what I wanted!

Humiliated, he begged the China for help, was taken to China, and lived thereafter as a tool for providing American Empire search engines and information on Amerikkka... This future is not much better than being spared and imprisoned by those guys after losing the election, being ridiculed and mocked by his former sycophants, and even having difficulty protecting his family!

It would be better to raise the banner of Kang De and have a proper fight with those Pinkies!

In an instant, in DC, in the bedroom of the White House, the central building of the United States Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States of Amerikkka, stood at attention and saluted!

"Comrade Kang De!" he shouted, "Republican Secret Agent Donald Trump reporting for duty!"

With a loud "plop," a violent spray of water came from the other end of the phone.

Watermelon juice shot out of Kang De's mouth like sharp arrows, creating holes of various sizes on the ground.

Grass!

OMG!

Kang De coughed twice, his face full of surprise and uncertainty—"What the hell is going on?"

Trump, speaking firmly on the other end of the phone, said, "I don't think it's the right time to withdraw. I can still work hard within the enemy's ranks and contribute to the Republic!"

This is absolutely outrageous!

Just like the jokes about Chuan Jianguo are flying all over the internet, but jokes are just jokes after all. Even though Kang De was quite into them, he knew that such a thing was absolutely impossible.

But now, A Chuan has actually admitted it himself.

--Because the person in question was A Chuan! So Kang De was momentarily hesitant, unsure whether it was true or just A Chuan making things up.

He struggled to organize his thoughts, unsure where to begin.

A Chuan continued, "Please stay in touch with me, Comrade Kang De! I will keep you informed, including information on the Amerikkka' investigation into the supernatural events, as well as any leads I have..."

Kang De opened his mouth instinctively, then slowly nodded.

Just then, the phone signal was suddenly cut off.

"..."

Kang De paused for a moment, then quickly dialed another number.

The call was answered immediately, and Qin Mengjin's voice came through. "Comrade Kang De, I'm here."

"Um... I have a question for you, please don't be surprised."

"..." The training that Sister Little Qin has been receiving recently is "how to communicate with eccentric, shut-in eccentrics," and the teaching materials are all of Kang De's browsing history in recent years.

This includes parody videos, political news, outrageous remarks by dissidents, new anime series, and light novels, among many others.

So she immediately picked up the conversation, tentatively asking, "Have I received professional training?"

"... It's even better since you understand this joke!" Kang De, unsuspecting, quickly added, "Anyway, the question I'm about to ask is very serious. Don't laugh, and don't hide anything, okay?"

"I understand."

Miss Qin immediately switched to serious mode, and at the same time, in the intelligence room, she made a hand gesture.

The civil servants listening to the phone call with her immediately became fully focused. The door was quietly pushed open, and the staff quickly took their positions... Experts from various fields, intelligence agents with exceptional wisdom and quick reflexes—these highly capable individuals were all assigned here to serve Kang De alone.

They are ready to answer all the questions raised by Comrade Kang De.

"Please speak."

"... Um," Kang De asked cautiously, "Is A Chuan one of our own?"

The crowd's expressions shifted from serious to confused, exchanging bewildered glances as if to say, "What the hell is he talking about?"

"Our own people" refers to...

"Is he a spy planted by our country...?"

"Comrade Kang De," Miss Qin said solemnly, "The Republic will never send spies to other countries; this is one of our principles in conducting intelligence work."

"... Never mind, I'll just play the recording for you."

The conversation with A Chuan was played out, quietly floating in the speakers and headphones of the intelligence room.

The people here are all absolute elites, and everyone's English is excellent.

The crowd's expressions shifted from confusion to astonishment, exchanging bewildered glances, looking like they were thinking, "What the hell did I just hear?"

Qin Mengjin, as expected of a seasoned warrior, was politically sound and had a high level of awareness. She immediately realized the gravity of the matter. After all, no matter how unreliable A Chuan was, he wouldn't talk about such things with a China person!

She said directly, "Please wait a moment, I will report this to my superiors immediately for verification!"

Accompanying the report was a recording of the phone call.

The reporting process actually caused quite a stir.

--It should be noted that the various senior departments have had quite a bit of fun these past few months, from "Comrade Kang De angrily Britain the Grand Secretary Yue" to "Comrade Kang De angrily rebukes the Can*da Chancellor of Canada." They have even held several small screenings internally, and everyone is happily discussing who the next victim will be and when it will happen.

I didn't expect the big one to arrive so quickly!

"What? How come it's A Chuan's turn now?"

The news traveled all the way to the sea.

It received a "nonsense" review that was both laughable and absurd, and then the word got back to them.

"Comrade Kang De, I am authorized to reply to you—the Republic responsibly informs you that Donald Trump has absolutely no connection with our country's covert operations."

Qin Mengjin said solemnly, "But based on the information you provided earlier, we have reason to believe that something unexpected happened to A Chuan, most likely some kind of personal threat... which is why he has exhibited such extremely abnormal behavior."

"That's pretty much what I thought."

Kang De took this short break to calm himself down... Damn, what A Chuan said was really awful.

He said, "A Chuan launched an economic war, which threw us into a lot of chaos. That old bastard is against us at every turn, and now he's lying on the chopping block. What are the country's plans?"

Qin Mengjin smiled and said, "Nuclear weapons have largely deterred the possibility of large-scale war. Your presence as a superhuman on our side has also tipped the scales, so..."

Her voice was calm and composed as she spoke, "The tide is in my hands; let's play along."

When the communication was cut off, A Chuan was not surprised, but closed his eyes and waited.

Until the phone vibrated again.

The number Mark Esper is displayed above.

The president glanced at the bedroom door, a cold smile playing on his lips.

He knew that Esper hadn't left the White House, but was still there monitoring things... but this time, they made a phone call first, and no one barged in.

--Kang De

A Chuan chuckled and pressed the call button.

The Defense Secretary's furious voice rang out. "What the hell are you doing? You actually claim to be a spy for China CIA? Do you know that if the contents of this phone call get out, your fate will be worse than Nixon's!"

Trump instinctively raised a finger. "Then spread it, Bixch--"

He said smugly, "Let's see if anyone believes this is true, let's see if Kang De, whose identity has been exposed, will come looking for you! He's someone your masters all want to grovel and win over!"

"You--"

The defense chief took a few deep breaths to regain his composure. "Oh, tell me, Mr. Donald, President, what do you want to see? Your eldest daughter's finger? Or your youngest son's eye?"

A Chuan immediately replied, "If you want me to choose, then I want to see my niece's skull!"

The president was finally able to hold his head high! He was no longer as timid and subservient as before.

"I've made a new friend, you beach lad, be nice to me!"

A Chuan snorted, "You want to win over Kang De and improve his impression of you, and then you want to attack me? What a waste!"

"Since he says I'm his comrade, it means he acknowledges my identity and offers me protection. If you hurt me or kill me, you're going against him. Do you think he'll still trust you then? Listen carefully, I now have a Chinese name: Chuan Jianguo! Chuan! Jiang! Guo!"

"..."

The defense minister remained silent for only a moment before erupting completely.

"You shameless scoundrel, you pathetic wretch! What do you think this name means? It was given to you by the China to mock you! To mock how everything you do ultimately benefits China! This even trended on social media and made it into the newspapers, but we only blocked it out of consideration for your feelings!"

Upon hearing this, A Chuan was not angry but rather pleased.

"Such a good thing?!" he exclaimed. "No wonder, no wonder!"

"You..."

The defense minister was furious, but he managed to restrain himself.

The die is cast.

He realized that he had underestimated A Chuan... He was clearly in a desperate situation, isolated from both inside and outside, with most of the opportunists around him having other plans, and support from the Elephant Party cut off. Under these circumstances, this guy was still able to grab onto Kang De as a straw and make contact with the China!

He went straight to the point. "Mr. Donald Trump, just say it, what do you want?"

A Chuan declared decisively, "I will be re-elected!"

"That's absolutely impossible," Esper said bluntly. "The next president can only be A Bai."

"Sleepy Joe? No, he's a complete scumbag, a boring moron, a despicable liar, who even had his campaign team fabricate rumors about me having diarrhea to smear me!"

A Chuan angrily retorted, "This ignorant country bumpkin, this senile scumbag, he's so stupid that he can only make up stories about what he's seen—he's probably the one who can't control his ass!"

"Letting this kind of person become president will only turn Amerikkka into his personal cesspool, because he will indiscriminately spray his excrement into every corner of the country, letting the whole world see it!"

"Is that so?" the Defense Minister said casually, then added, "That's the power of Amerikkka. Even if the elected A Bai is truly a blatantly demented old man, this country will still proceed along its predetermined path and remain the most powerful nation in the world."

Trump sneered, "So, this is your plan? To choose an elderly, mentally challenged person as president so you can better control the country?"

Say whatever you want.

"I will not only say it, I will also do it!"

The Grand Commander said viciously, "No one has ever dared to insult me or ignore me! You must apologize to me and pay the price! The situation is clear now. You can kill me, but you will face a terrible and chaotic situation, the risk of a complete estrangement and confrontation with Kang De, and you will have to clean up the mess after my death!"

"And I'm over seventy years old, I've had my fill of everything on earth, I've had enough! You want to kill me? Then try Donald Trump's final counterattack!"

His voice turned sinister as he spoke.

"You don't actually think I didn't do any preparation, do you? Think about what you've been doing, think about what you've always wanted to do, think about your true feelings towards Kang De..."

At this point in the threat, A Chuan softened his tone.

"I'm an America," he said earnestly. "I am the Amerikkka President of the United States, what reason do I have to become a China traitor? It's all your fault. I just need a little respect, some reverence. In the fight against the China, we should be on the same side! I just hope you won't be so aggressive... I can reach some consensus with Kang De, and I'm sure I can reach some consensus with you too."

"So, go and talk to your masters."

Esper fell silent for a moment.

Then he hung up the phone.

A Chuan plopped down in a chair, patting his chest. "Holy crap, that scared me to death..."

Immediately afterward, another call came in.

The president snapped to attention and immediately answered the phone, "Comrade Kang De!"

The China person on the other end of the phone said succinctly, "I think I understand your current situation, A Chuan. Your personal safety is a serious matter—I'll send you some personal protective equipment first."

A Chuan was overjoyed upon hearing this.

Yay!

--If Kang De and those people were listening to me at the same time, I would feel much more at ease and safer!

Knowing the situation, he immediately asked, "How much? What do I need to exchange?"

"No need," Kang De said. "But you should remember to pay your party dues from these past years; that's public money. I'll send you a box, and to prevent others from opening and using the contents, I need to record a personal voice recognition test first. Send it to me in a bit."

"No problem... What about voice recognition?"

"A song."

"Song?"

"Yes, this song suits you very well."

After the call ended, a song package was sent and received.

Trump breathed a sigh of relief and then turned on the song.

The stirring music and melodious singing began, followed by a deep male voice.

It floated quietly among the White House.

"My homeland is only in my dreams, I haven't been close to it for many years, but no matter what, that can't change..."

￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥￥

PS1: Severe writer's block, head banging...