The God Who Never Did Any Real Work
Douluo Continent.
Heaven Dou Empire.
In a villa on the outskirts of Heaven Dou City.
An outrageously handsome young man was drinking tea with Zhongli.
The young man couldn't help yawning.
Zhongli looked at him. "Lord Lin Feng, what's wrong?"
The young man smiled calmly. "Nothing. I've just caught a bit of a cold."
He wasn't from the Douluo Continent. To be precise, he was a transmigrator.
Other people transmigrated and became things like the holy son of Spirit Hall.
He was different. He had transmigrated into Phanes, the Heavenly Principles of Teyvat, the very first Primordial One.
Unlike in the original timeline,
he was at max level.
He hadn't fallen into a slumber.
Under him were the Four Great Rulers of life, death, time, and space, as well as the Seven, including the gods of wind, fire, and lightning.
He also possessed an authority that the Heavenly Principles in the original story lacked.
He could travel through the heavens and myriad worlds.
A thousand years ago,
to evade the Abyss's invasion,
he had moved the entire continent of Teyvat right next to the plane of the Douluo Continent.
He had brought the Four Great Rulers of life, death, time, and space, and the Seven, including the gods of wind, fire, and lightning, along with him.
He had also brought in quite a few technologies from the Douluo Continent, such as Soul Tools.
With his people developing them, they had pulled tens of thousands of years ahead of the present-day Douluo Continent!
That's right. The Seven under him were all enhanced versions who had cultivated for a thousand years.
A thousand years had passed.
The Seven still didn't do any real work, just as before.
Venti busked, Raiden Ei ran a restaurant, Zhongli wandered around like a bum, Mavuika raced around everywhere, Columbina slept all day, Nahida worked as a librarian, and Furina held concerts.
As for the Cryo God, she had opened an ice cream shop and sold ice cream.
Uh.
None of them did a fucking thing they were supposed to.
None of them did any real work.
He didn't do any real work either.
Why didn't he?
After a thousand years of development, Teyvat was prosperous and peaceful, and there really wasn't much to do.
Compared to those other guys,
Zhongli was much more reliable.
At the very least, when he hung around this guy, he didn't have to sleep all day or eat terrible food, and nobody would suddenly turn up beside his bed in the middle of the night to sing.
The downside was that after hanging around this guy for too long, his personality had started to become more and more like Zhongli's.
Hearing Lin Feng actually say he'd caught a bit of a cold, a creature a little over two feet tall rubbed its sleepy eyes.
"???????"
The creature floated in midair.
Its face was full of shock.
Its head was full of question marks.
Phanes, the Heavenly Principles, said he'd caught a bit of a cold???
"All right, don't dwell on it."
"Little Paimon, if you're sleepy, go to bed!"
Perhaps because Little Paimon was a creation of Celestia,
she had come along when he transmigrated.
"I don't even know how the Traveler is doing. How could I sleep?" Little Paimon's face was full of worry.
She had clearly been with the Traveler in Snezhnaya, preparing to join everyone in resisting Celestia.
But then, for no apparent reason, that guy Lin Feng had pulled a whole series of bizarre moves.
And just like that, she had inexplicably appeared at Lin Feng's side.
Even now, she still didn't know what had happened.
Without him, the Traveler had lost his best guide and wouldn't have to do commissions every day to earn her living expen... Pfft, pfft, pfft! What was she even saying?
Did he eat that much?
She didn't eat that much at all! She was super cheap to keep, okay?
She only needed three hundred thousand Mora a month.
As she thought about it,
Paimon grew sleepier and sleepier, until she fell asleep again.
Lin Feng's face darkened.
And she'd said she wasn't sleepy.
It hadn't even been half an hour, and she was already snoring away.
Lin Feng shook his head and tucked Little Paimon in.
He prepared to brew a pot of tea.
Even the Seven under him no longer needed things like sleep.
Much less him.
"Lord Zhongli."
At that moment, a voice rang out.
Zhongli turned and saw a young man approaching.
"Your Highness, what brings you here?"
"Nothing much. I finished handling state affairs, so I came over to sit with you for a while," the young man said.
The newcomer was none other than Xue Qinghe, the crown prince of the Heaven Dou Empire—or, to be precise, Qian Renxue.
About three years ago, Xue Qinghe had met Zhongli.
It had been at a teahouse.
She had found that Zhongli was completely different from the wastrel young masters he had met. Whether in his speech and conduct or his bearing, he was very much like someone accustomed to ruling.
Zhongli: Was it that obvious?
So Qian Renxue had taken the initiative to befriend Zhongli and made him a guest elder of the Eastern Palace.
That was why Zhongli was never short of money when he went out.
He put everything on the Eastern Palace's tab.
Even Lin Feng couldn't help marveling.
That's Zhongli for you.
Back in Teyvat, he had the Northland Bank and the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor keeping his tabs.
After coming to the Douluo Continent, he had Qian Renxue, that hapless sucker, paying for him.
Come to think of it,
he wasn't the only one freeloading off Qian Renxue.
It was their whole group.
Barbatos's wine money, Raiden Ei's restaurant expenses, Mavuika's motorcycle repair bills, Columbina's snack money.
Of the seven gods under him, only three could support themselves: Furina, who held concerts everywhere; Nahida, the librarian; and the Cryo God, who ran an ice cream shop.
Just then,
a powerful force descended upon the entire Douluo Continent.
A mysterious scroll slowly unfurled in the sky.
At the sight, Lin Feng and the others couldn't help looking up at the sky.
At that moment, the entire Douluo Continent erupted into an uproar.
It completely overshadowed the Soul Master Tournament that was about to be held on the Douluo Continent.
Nothing like this had ever been recorded before, and countless people were extremely curious.
"What is that thing?"
No matter who they were or what they were doing, everyone stopped and looked up at the sky.
Lin Feng was also taken aback by the sight.
This sort of thing...
As a transmigrator, he naturally knew what it was.
Wasn't this a ranking list?
Lin Feng's expression quickly returned to normal from shock.
The scroll continued to unfurl.
An enormous screen began to appear.
"The golden ranking resonates, and the Heavenly Screen divides the realms. The two regions of Douluo and Teyvat are established, and the Heavenly Screen Livestream Room opens."
"Beneath the Heavenly Screen, all beings are equal."
"Soul Masters may speak, thousand-year Soul Beasts may speak, and gods may speak as well."
"Two rankings shall stand side by side, each selecting its top ten."
"Those who make the rankings shall receive gifts from heaven and earth."
"Kill those on the rankings and seize their gifts."
"The names on the rankings are not limited to the present-potential, bloodlines, inheritances, and divine seats are all included in the calculations."
"Important events from the two regions will also be revealed at irregular intervals."
This eerie presence stretched across the Douluo Continent, and countless Soul Masters and Soul Beasts could clearly see the words on it.
"Ning Fengzhi: What is this? Can you see what I'm saying?"
"Ning Rongrong: Daddy, we really can."
"Tang San: What is this? Could it be a plot by Spirit Hall?"
"Bibi Dong: Tang San, don't spread rumors. Our Spirit Hall has no such ability."
"Yu Xiaogang: According to my theory, this should be the work of a supreme existence. Everyone who makes the rankings can receive a reward."
"Gu Rong: This is wonderful! My name is bound to be among the ten strongest on the Douluo Continent. My chance to break through to Super Douluo is here!"
"Bibi Dong: Heaven truly is helping our Spirit Hall."
"Bibi Dong: Our Spirit Hall is bound to have more than half of the ten strongest people on the Douluo Continent."