Get Lost After You Apply the Medicine

Hua Ruolin took a deep breath, strode over and put a hand on Shu Sizhuo's shoulder. "It's okay. He'll come back."

"When?"

"...Soon."

"Will he be back for my birthday?"

Hua Ruolin said nothing.

That day, Shu Sizhuo locked himself in his room and sobbed his heart out, refusing to open the door for anyone. The auntie was beside herself with worry, but Hua Ruolin's face darkened, and he sighed. "Leave him be."

Shu Sizhuo wasn't oblivious. Someone had left without so much as a word, his phone couldn't be reached, and his uncle kept looking as though he wanted to say something but couldn't. At the very least, it all meant Tang Xu wouldn't be back anytime soon.

Crying day and night gave Shu Sizhuo a high fever. He lay in a hospital bed, his eyelids red, swollen and shiny, still crying and calling Tang Xu's name even when he drifted in and out of consciousness, like an abandoned puppy.

The high fever lasted three full days. During one of his more lucid moments, Shu Sizhuo reached out with the hand attached to his IV, clutched his uncle's clothes and said Tang Xu's hometown was close to Grinding Cloud City, asking his uncle to help find him.

His uncle nodded and agreed, but never gave him an answer, no matter how often he asked.

Later, for some reason, he grew more and more afraid and stopped asking. He also became quiet and withdrawn.

One day, he came home from school beneath a bright moon hanging high in the sky. Shu Sizhuo saw Hua Ruolin drinking alone in the spot where he usually drank with Tong Zhao. Then Hua Ruolin lowered his head and wiped the corner of his eye.

Shu Sizhuo gazed in that direction, somewhat lost in thought.

He watched for a long time.

Then he turned and ran back inside.

Hua Ruolin looked back at Shu Sizhuo's retreating figure and suddenly felt that being a child wasn't so bad. A child could choose to run away, to shut everything out and avoid facing cruel reality.

He had tracked down Tang Xu's hometown a couple of days earlier, only to learn that Tang Xu had grown up in an orphanage.

But the people at the orphanage told him that Tang Xu had been in an accident the previous month...

And died.

Beneath the baroque vaulted ceiling, Shu Sizhuo remained lodged firmly at the entrance, filled with love, hatred, resentment and hurt. His bloodshot eyes were wet as he looked at Tong Zhao. "You're finally willing to acknowledge me? Tang Xu, or should I call you Xia Zhen?"

Tong Zhao's hair was disheveled, his face streaked with tears and his lower lip stained with blood. A look of confusion flashed across his pale face as he stared blankly back at Shu Sizhuo.

"So you recognized me a long time ago?" he murmured. "But it's been eight years..."

Shu Sizhuo sneered. "So what if it's been eight years? Even if you were reduced to ashes, I'd recognize you."

Tong Zhao stared at him in a daze. After a long while, his lips slowly twisted into a bitter smile. "You recognized me all along, and you still engineered those chance encounters to hit on me again and again? You even asked me to be your lover? Was it fun to toy with me?"

Shu Sizhuo pinned both his hands above his head and gripped his ankle with the other hand, his knuckles white. Through clenched teeth, he said, "It was fun. Wasn't it fun for you too, barging into my world and playing with me again and again?"

"So you're getting back at me?" Tong Zhao looked hurt.

Shu Sizhuo pushed Tong Zhao's ankle forward, making the chains rattle. His voice was low and hoarse. "I've always paid back the smallest slight since I was a child. It's not like you didn't know that..."

"You... would hold the smallest slight against me?" Tong Zhao no longer knew whether the pain was worse between his legs or in his chest. His eyes were red, and with his face such a mess, he really did look a little pitiful.

Shu Sizhuo looked down at him, his gaze like that of a trapped beast. He had pounced on his prey, reluctant to strip away its lovely skin yet so ravenous he wanted to tear out its throat.

"Tong Zhao, relax." He leaned forward, a vein throbbing at his temple.

Tong Zhao's expression changed abruptly. He began pushing him away in vain, struggling frantically.

Shu Sizhuo frowned and tried a few times, but it still wouldn't work. Tong Zhao's tears only fell harder. Holding his breath, Shu Sizhuo had no choice but to release his ankle, reach over to open the bedside table and take out a bottle of something.

Tong Zhao stared fearfully through tear-blurred eyes as Shu Sizhuo flipped open the cap and poured the stuff out.

It was cool against his skin. Tong Zhao shivered, and his voice shook even harder.

"Shu Sizhuo, stop! Whatever it is, we can talk about it! I didn't mean to play with you... No, I didn't play with you! Fucking stop!"

Shu Sizhuo bent down and sucked away his tears. Fine beads of sweat broke out on his forehead as he sneered. "You didn't play with me? You left without a word when I was eleven, pretended to date me when I was nineteen, then fell into the sea and died right in front of me. Now you show up alive and well, only to devote all your attention to someone else. Tell me... how is that not playing with me?"

Pain had turned Tong Zhao's vision white and left his head spinning. Shu Sizhuo's voice rose and fell as though muffled by a layer of seawater. Unable to free his hands from above his head, he dug his fingertips in as he struggled, leaving several scratches on Shu Sizhuo's hand.

"Stop..." Tears streamed down both sides of Tong Zhao's face from the pain. "Don't make me hate you, Shu Sizhuo. Don't make me hate you..."

Shu Sizhuo laughed at that, lowering his head. "Hate me... hahaha, hate me..."

As he laughed, his voice grew twisted and cold. He gripped Tong Zhao's jaw, his scarlet eyes fixed on Tong Zhao's tear-filled ones. "Go ahead and hate me. Don't they say hate lasts longer than love? Look at how many years I've hated you. Hating you is what kept me alive until now. You should hate me too. At least hating me is better than forgetting me, right? Hate me, hate me, hate me!"

"Ah!--"

A sharp pain shot straight to Tong Zhao's brain. The baroque ceiling swayed and spun in his double vision.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die...

Tong Zhao didn't know how long he had been put through this. Either way, it was like being tortured. In his daze, he somehow still managed to spare a thought for other questions. First, how many people had Shu Sizhuo fucked, damn it? Second, why the fuck was he still so bad at it after fucking so many people? Third, this wasn't fun, it wasn't fun, boo-hoo-hoo. It didn't feel anywhere near as good as the books said.

He hadn't eaten and was weak with hunger. Now he had even less strength.

So, in that room where he couldn't tell day from night, when Shu Sizhuo carried him to the bathroom to clean him up, he rested his head against the bathtub and fell asleep again.

But the discomfort kept him from sleeping soundly. He squinted and saw Shu Sizhuo cleaning him, and angrily kicked him in the face.

He thought his kick was powerful, but to Shu Sizhuo, it was as soft as a newborn kitten.

Shu Sizhuo caught his foot and put it down. "Don't fuss," he said quietly. "You'll get a fever if I don't clean you."

You sure know a fucking lot. Then why did you do that in the first place?

Tong Zhao turned his head away and shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to pay the bastard any attention.

It seemed he got a little more used to it after that, and he fell asleep for a while.

Before he knew it, Shu Sizhuo had wrapped him in a bath towel and carried him onto the soft bed.

Tong Zhao was both overcome with anger and utterly exhausted. Now he was so sleepy he felt dizzy and only wanted to get some sleep first.

But then his legs were gently pushed apart. He sprang up like a startled bird and opened his bloodshot eyes, staring fearfully at Shu Sizhuo. "No more!"

Shu Sizhuo glanced at him, leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "Okay. I'll put some medicine on you."

"I don't want medicine!"

"I'll be gentle. It won't hurt."

Tong Zhao didn't want the medicine even if Shu Sizhuo was gentle, but he really had no strength left. Anyway, if he hadn't misunderstood, he'd just said "no more," and Shu Sizhuo had said "okay."

He narrowed his eyes and glared fiercely at Shu Sizhuo, though it wasn't intimidating in the least. "Get lost after you apply the medicine."