Look at Those Guys Named Jiang and Ye

"School's about to start... Why don't I feel excited about being young again..."

It turned out that older people saying they regretted not studying harder was pure bullshit. Give them another taste of the terror of being ruled by schoolwork, and they'd have a headache too. Shinnosuke understood the feeling perfectly, so in the days leading up to the start of school, he wore a constipated expression every day.

Shinnosuke suddenly remembered that he still hadn't claimed his mission rewards from a while ago. His days of being a salted fish had actually made him forget something so important.

"They wouldn't have expired already, would they...?"

At the thought, Shinnosuke hurriedly opened the system page in his mind.

"Heh, there's no time limit on this. Very ginkgo of you."

Shinnosuke suddenly felt some changes in his body. It seemed he was no longer quite so weak and unsteady. Was this what two extra points of physique did? It didn't feel like much had changed... Maybe he'd really been too weak before, and two points of physique had only just been enough to restore him to health.

A white light flashed, and a thumb-sized wind chime appeared in his hand. Its function and instructions for use instantly appeared in Shinnosuke's head.

[Aura Wind Chime: Increases the wearer's aura by 100% for ten minutes. Single-use consumable.]

So basically, it's for showing off. It might scare some people, but anyone with guts wouldn't be afraid of it...

"Speaking of which, this system is like Doraemon's magic pocket. It only gives me weird stuff, like that roly-poly from last time... Always standing upright, hmm... Could I use it to keep certain body parts standing upright?! But it only lasts ten minutes. That's too short to be useful."

Shinnosuke instantly lost interest in the [Daruma Roly-Poly], but he still had high hopes for things like improved reaction speed and physique. After all, everyone wanted to live a few more years.

But this Goddess System had to rest for several days every time it switched on. It had been almost a week since he completed the last mission, and there still hadn't been a peep from it. That was fine too, though. Otherwise, who could stand the constant threat of kidney failure or having a kidney removed for failing a mission?

Shinnosuke was imagining what the punishment for failing the next mission might be when that familiar voice suddenly appeared in his head again.

[System mission: Dominate Green Vine. Time limit: one month.]

[Mission rewards: Physique +10, one Damage Immunity Bandage (grants immunity to all damage for three minutes. Single-use consumable). Refusal to accept/mission failure: Central nervous system necrosis.]

The punishment is as vicious as ever... And the mission is a huge undertaking: take over a high school in one month.

Shinnosuke looked at his fully healed arm and thought for a moment.

Although my body is pretty healthy now, that's all it is—healthy.

Last time I beat that group of delinquents, at least half of it was thanks to my little tricks. With my body, if they'd really given me a beating, I'd probably have ended up in intensive care...

At that thought, Shinnosuke only felt the burden on his shoulders growing heavier. Not only had this system failed to give him many awesome items for a dragon king's return or a live-in son-in-law's rise to power, it kept trying to take his life at every turn!

At the thought, he, a man who had lived two lives, nearly died of anger! Look at those guys named Jiang and Ye. Their systems start them off with a bunch of upgrades and equipment, and look at mine! Kidney failure today, a vegetative state tomorrow!! Fuck, if the system had a physical body, I'd strangle it to death!!! Is there any way to get it out? Urgent, waiting online!

Although Shinnosuke was furious, there was nothing he could do. He could only console himself with the thought that he wouldn't have to die again if he completed the mission. After all, he'd lived two lives, so every extra hour was a bonus! Anyway, it's all...

The face of a goddess picking her nose with an idiotic expression suddenly appeared in his mind, and Shinnosuke completely exploded...

With a vicious look on his face, he spouted beautiful Huaxia words from his mouth.

"Fuck your mother, you bastard! Why the hell am I so fucking unlucky? I got killed while I was taking a shit, fuck!! Idiot goddess!!!!**********!"

The people around him pointed at him and whispered among themselves.

"That person looks so fierce. I can't understand what he's saying, but it sounds like he's cursing someone out..."

"This guy doesn't look like a good person. We'd better stay away from him. Let's go..."

"It sounds like Huaxia. Could he be reciting poetry? He's really putting his heart into it!"

The people around Shinnosuke pointed and whispered, but he didn't notice. He kept cursing at the top of his lungs for over ten minutes without repeating himself once!

One couldn't help but marvel at the breadth and depth of Huaxia culture.

At that very moment, Mithelis, who had just woken up, stared blankly at the pale purple crystal floating in midair. Suddenly, her nose began to twitch.

"Achoo!! Achoo!! Achoo!! Ahhh~~~achoo!!!!"

One of Mithelis's sneezes sent her tumbling head over heels. By the time she had sneezed four times in a row, she had plowed across the entire floor. Then she looked around her little space in bewilderment...

"I... Am I... catching a cold? Wait... How does a goddess treat a cold... Do I have to get an injection...?" (｡ŏ_ŏ)