What a Dog

[No. 95201, the Battle of All Evils instance ticket has been synthesized. The instance will open in three days. Please prepare.]

The game's voice fell silent.

After the instance reset, Xu Kai returned to the entrance of the Crematorium. His Funeral Car was back in front of it, good as new.

A semi-truck had long since bent the Funeral Car in half. He hadn't expected the instance to restore even that.

Stone Statue Weird had returned to the City. He knew it was no longer possible to find another chance to kill Xu Kai.

Xu Kai got back into the Funeral Car and tore off its distinctive markings. Now it was just an ordinary long-distance coach.

Xu Kai drove away from the Crematorium, wandering about. He urgently needed to calm down. He had been wound too tight in the last instance, and memories of his own death still circled in his head. He needed to relax.

Beep, beep.

A senior's mobility car was parked sideways across the road ahead, forcing Xu Kai to stop.

Xu Kai recognized the familiar style and laughed.

There had to be an old man nearby, eagerly fishing by the lake again.

Seeing how leisurely the old man was, Xu Kai parked his own vehicle sideways across the road, right beside the old man's mobility car. Then he got out to chat with him a little longer.

The way down to the lake from the roadside wasn't really a path. It was just a patch of grass, but so many people had walked down it that they'd worn it bare, exposing the yellow earth.

Xu Kai followed the bare earth and soon spotted the old man. He was fishing leisurely beneath a parasol, a tobacco pipe clenched between his teeth.

Xu Kai walked over with practiced familiarity and said:

"Old man, I'm back."

"Hm? Shh~"

Hearing someone, the startled old man quickly held a hand to his mouth and shushed Xu Kai.

"Young man, you again? Haven't seen you in a few days. How did you end up looking so worn out? Work really takes it out of you, huh? Oh, you even brought liquor..."

The old man spoke quite loudly himself. He didn't seem worried about his own voice scaring the fish, only Xu Kai's.

When he saw that Xu Kai had brought liquor, white liquor at that, his craving was stirred, and he swallowed.

Xu Kai had bought the liquor on purpose, wanting to see whether he could still taste alcohol.

"Yeah, it's exhausting, especially with a skinflint boss. His heart's as dead as a stone pillar. He made me work all through the night! I'm a driver, but I have to work part-time as a security guard too..."

"Hiss, at the Crematorium up there? You're still working there? Oh boy, that place is eerie, really eerie! Young man, you're so young. Surely there's something else you could do? Listen to me, don't go back!"

"Old man, I'm doing just fine there. Why would I quit? I've already got my wages, and they're pretty good!"

Xu Kai smiled and opened his game inventory. The last instance's settlement had also given him a hundred City Coins. He himself had only been worth five City Coins back then; a hundred was enough to buy twenty of him.

The old man shook his head and looked at Xu Kai in disappointment.

"You still don't know! It's too eerie! Everyone in the building furthest out in our town, on Longleaf Street, has gone missing! They say it happened on the road to your Crematorium! Good heavens, a whole building of people, more than twenty families. No one's been found alive or dead..."

Xu Kai thought about it. He was probably talking about the time at the bend, when Xu Kai had used his skill to blow up those twenty-odd vehicles, collapsing the bend along with them. They had been lured there by an Evil under Stone Statue Weird's command to kill him and the players. Xu Kai had seen through it and blown them all up with his skill.

"Ahem, old man, let's not talk about it. Everything's in the drink, everything's in the drink."

Xu Kai offered him a drink, and the old man accepted it. His expression visibly warmed.

"You sure know how to live, kid, bringing liquor along when you go out."

"Of course. Only, once I've drunk it, I can't get back."

"Why can't you get back?"

Xu Kai said nothing and pointed at the vehicle up above. The old man understood, patted Xu Kai on the shoulder, and continued:

"It's fine. There aren't any prosecutors around here. Driving a short stretch won't hurt..."

"No, no, I'm afraid of dying."

Xu Kai, who had died more than seventy times, spoke with a frightened look on his face.

"You're young. Be a little bolder! Look at my old car there. I parked it like that on purpose. Nothing else to it. I'm not making trouble or stirring anything up, just blocking the road! I stop whoever I can. I like fishing, and I like chatting too, so I'm hoping to stop a stranger and get them to shoot the breeze with an old man like me. Anyway, this road isn't some major thoroughfare. Even after all these years, only two cars go by in a day."

Good grief, so he'd done it on purpose.

Hearing this, Xu Kai finally understood. The old man wasn't bad at heart, but what he did was sneakily wicked.

The liquor went to the old man's head, and he started bragging. Xu Kai chimed in beside him, laughing along now and then.

Xu Kai looked in the fish basket. There were only one or two fish as thick as a finger inside. He looked at the old man in surprise.

"Old man, that's all you caught today? Judging by the time, you've been fishing almost all day, haven't you?"

The old man gave a rare cough or two and said:

"The fish in this lake aren't very big. Catching ones this size is impressive enough!"

"Really? Didn't you catch more than twenty jin before?"

"I bought those twenty-odd jin at the market. If I can't catch any, I just go buy some!"

The old man had drunk too much and blurted out the truth. Xu Kai laughed, feeling that even the phantom pain in his body had eased considerably.

"Old man, you really know how to take it easy."

"When you're alive, you've got to know how to enjoy yourself while you can. What if you kick the bucket one day? I just like fishing, looking at the lake and the scenery around the trees. It's wonderful~"

Xu Kai didn't argue or say much else. He took a fishing rod from the old man and joined him.

"Fishing cultivates your character and soothes your mood. Just look at how young I am at heart... Holy shit!"

The old man couldn't maintain that youthful attitude long enough to finish his sentence.

He saw that Xu Kai, a beginner, had caught a fish as soon as he cast his line. When he pulled it up, it weighed around ten jin. The old man even forgot to smoke his pipe.

"Old man, you're right. This really does cultivate your character..."

"Y-you, how did you catch it just now? You didn't put on any bait?"

"I caught it as soon as I cast the line. Bait? What bait?"

The old man froze, as though he had suffered the heaviest blow of his entire life. His face flushed red from drinking, he walked over to roughly where Xu Kai had been and asked:

"H-here? You caught it here?"

"Mm-hmm, that's right."

Xu Kai smiled. For the first time, he felt so vividly alive inside an instance.

He stayed and drank with the old man a while longer, and before he knew it, the sky had darkened.

The first day in the instance passed just like that.

In search of a sense of reality, Xu Kai returned to Maple Town the next day and played Chinese chess with those old lousy players again. He opened Zhang Dekai's phone and followed the chess game on it, drawing repeated cries of amazement from the old men, who all hailed his astonishing moves.

And so the second day passed as well.

On the third day, Xu Kai's sense of taste was still that of an Evil. For the past three days, no matter what delicacies he ate, Xu Kai could basically only feel his stomach fill. But he found fishing with the old man and playing chess with those lousy players in Maple Town the most enjoyable things.

He was still a driver at the Crematorium, but the instance wasn't open, and business there was unexpectedly poor. His wages were still paid as usual, though.

Xu Kai sat beneath the evening sky, quietly watching the sunset as he waited for the instance to begin.

He reviewed his condition and made sure of his trump cards.

First, he could release Weird Energy from his body. According to what the Evil master of ceremonies had said before, his tolerance for pain was fairly good, allowing him to release more Weird Energy than an ordinary Evil.

Second, his Gui Resistance had increased by ten percent. His resistance to other Evils' illusions and Weird Energy had both improved significantly, making it equivalent to a much thicker health bar.

Next, Xu Kai had two skills. One released flames in a designated area, and the other made a designated target fall from a great height. The second, the fall from a great height, had major restrictions and could basically only be used at cliffs or high places, but Xu Kai felt it was quite powerful.

Finally, there was the Temporary Ghost Advancement Card he had received from the instance's overall evaluation. According to its description, it could briefly raise his power to the level of a ghost. The state lasted for an hour, after which he would be weakened for ten minutes. Unless he had absolutely no choice, he couldn't play this card. He only had one, and once it was used, it would be gone.

Having sorted everything out, Xu Kai settled on his style. What he still lacked was close-combat experience. The enemies he had faced before could all be crushed with Weird Energy, but the entry requirements for the Battle of All Evils meant that everyone able to compete was an extremely dangerous being who had collected three portions of Source Weird Qi.

As the sun set, Xu Kai heard the game's voice.

[No. 95201, teleportation commencing. Target instance: Battle of All Evils.]

[Teleported to the Battle of All Evils instance. Please abide by the Rule Ghost, the Beast's rules.]

[Current area: Red Shirt Hospital.]

[Rules will be clearly displayed in the rooms where the Evils are located. Please strictly abide by all rules. Punishments for violations vary.]

[This instance is a slaughter instance. The fixed Killing Zones are the cafeteria and the elevators. Killing is prohibited elsewhere, but accidental deaths are not restricted.]

[This instance contains four Evils and three players. Kill the remaining opponents and obtain a Discharge Certificate to clear the instance and advance to a ghost. There is no time limit.]

A force that made the world spin instantly transported Xu Kai off the long bench. When he could see again, Xu Kai was lying in a hospital bed, looking at the ceiling and its incandescent light.

Xu Kai was already wearing a patient gown. This was a hospital room, furnished with a water dispenser, a clock, and a storage cabinet.

A brightly colored board was posted on the wall, bearing the rules for this hospital room.

The hospital room rules were as follows:

1. Patients must take medication once a day. Patients with severe conditions take blue pills; patients with mild conditions take red pills.

2. Patients must eat on time. Breakfast is from 8:00 to 8:30 a.m., lunch from 12:00 to 12:30 p.m., and dinner from 6:00 to 6:30 p.m. Breakfast is delivered to the hospital room by a nurse. If the nurse is late, please ring the bell. Please eat lunch and dinner in the cafeteria, which is located on the second floor.

3. After completing the prescribed gymnastics exercises, patients in this room may enter and leave without restriction for the rest of the day. If the exercises have not been completed, please enter and leave within half an hour before or after mealtimes.

There were no more rules after that, only a series of movements. Xu Kai looked them over. Did this mean that he had to perform these movements once, and then he could come and go freely that day?

He examined the movements carefully, his eyes twitching a little.

The first movement showed a person lying on the ground with their tongue out.

The second movement involved staying on the ground and holding a plate in the mouth.

The third movement was to put down the plate and leap into the air.

"Th-this is a fucking dog, isn't it?"