Chapter 39

The two brothers, who had not seen each other in a long time, exchanged brain waves as they silently stared at each other.

Qiao Huan: Why did you make your entrance like Ye Yiwei?

Zhuo Yang: What, is that hard?

Qiao Huan: ...You win.

Xiao Feng, standing nearby, was both surprised and delighted.

As expected of Xiu Si! They had only been apart for a day, yet they missed each other so much when they met that their gazes crackled with electricity!

Best of all, as far as he knew, Zhuo Yang was the most outgoing of Xiu Si!

With him here, there was hope again for a script about slowly winning someone over!

The next second.

Constantine burst into tears. "Waaah, I'm sorry! I won't pretend to fall into the water again!"

Xiao Feng: ?

So winning him over physically was more efficient?

Zhuo Yang snapped out of his daze and hurriedly set the child on the ground. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Constantine said, rubbing his eyes, his voice still thick with tears. "It's just..."

It was too embarrassing.

Qiao Huan brought over a bath towel, crouched down, and wrapped it around the little boy.

"Why did you jump into the pool?"

In just one day, the child had used two such dangerous methods to get attention. It seemed he was more than simply a naughty kid.

But Constantine merely lowered his head and did not answer.

Seeing this, Qiao Huan asked another question. "Then how did you open the child lock?"

He had already taken a look when Constantine showed him around earlier. The pool had electronic cover panels that were normally closed, controlled by the Central Control System and secured with a child lock. An ordinary child could not open them.

Otherwise, he would not have let Constantine roam freely with such a great danger present.

Constantine finally perked up, his face full of pride. "That couldn't stop me."

"Oh..." Qiao Huan turned to Zhuo Yang. "Then sorry for the trouble, Brother Zhuo, but could you find the loophole? I'll get back to cooking."

Zhuo Yang looked around and got a rough idea of what had happened. "No problem."

Then Constantine, who had successfully bypassed the system's child lock, watched the tall, burly uncle pick up an abandoned spring mattress lying nearby, bend it into a large net in no time, and lay it over the pool.

It fit perfectly.

Zhuo Yang put Constantine on the springs and bounced him up and down twice, as if moving a brick, to test it.

Mm, very sturdy.

Zhuo Yang happily dusted off his hands.

Physical child lock: check.

In the kitchen, Qiao Huan resumed his battle with the vegetable army.

When Qiao Huan had been undercover before, he had usually made do with instant noodles and a fried egg or something similar. He was not entirely inexperienced, and after cooking for a while now, he felt he had had enough practice.

Really, if all you wanted was to cook the food through and make it not too unpleasant to eat, cooking was not all that difficult.

But this had reminded Qiao Huan of something.

For an undercover agent, loneliness and hardship were the norm. The happiness of working with Ye Yiwei before had been, at most, a night-blooming cereus that flowered only once.

He had to rely on himself for everything.

Besides, the person who had come was Zhuo Yang.

Looking at the broad back of the man grunting away as he bent steel bars by the pool, Qiao Huan's hand froze in the middle of stirring the vegetables.

Letting two rough men like them take care of a child... He was even starting to feel a little sorry for Constantine.

He had heard that the previous two substitute parents were both gentle young ladies, and Constantine had still kept acting up with them. Could the two of them manage?

Besides, it was one thing for him to get dissed by the viewers and the Production Team, but Zhuo Yang was a new artist who had only just begun to make a name for himself. It would not do for him to perform poorly.

As he was thinking, Qiao Huan's hand shook, and the lid of the salt jar was about to fall into the pan.

The next second, a large, broad hand caught the lid.

"What are you thinking about?" Zhuo Yang asked.

Qiao Huan turned to see Zhuo Yang standing beside him, holding Constantine in one arm and the salt lid in his other hand.

Qiao Huan gathered his thoughts, his shell closing again. "Nothing."

"Oh..." Zhuo Yang looked around the kitchen. "Are you not very good at cooking?"

Qiao Huan did not hide it. "That's right."

"Then let me."

With that, Zhuo Yang thrust Constantine into Qiao Huan's arms, put on an apron, and gave the ladle a toss.

With just those few movements, he somehow gave off the air of a professional chef.

"You can cook too?" Qiao Huan was a little surprised.

"A little," Zhuo Yang said with a smile. "I never got enough to eat at the Martial Arts School, so I used to go to the cafeteria at night and make myself an extra meal."

"Oh..."

Constantine looked surprised too.

This uncle had so much strength that he had just scooped him up with ease.

And he could cook too?

Even his mom couldn't cook!

Seeing that Constantine had calmed down, Qiao Huan put him on the ground.

While Zhuo Yang was busy cooking, he went over to look around the pool.

The new safety net looked very rough, but when Qiao Huan crouched down for a closer look, he discovered that in such a short time, Zhuo Yang had even taken care to smooth down the steel's sharp edges. He had also placed a ring of inflatable toys around the outside to keep Constantine from bumping into it.

But the technique... No matter how he looked at it, it resembled the way a wilderness trap was set.

Did the Martial Arts School teach that too?

Even they, as undercover agents, had only taken a class or two in wilderness survival.

Still, recalling how Zhuo Yang had also helped him find seasickness medicine before, Qiao Huan provisionally labeled him a thoughtful person in his mind.

Half an hour later, looking at the table laden with dishes, Qiao Huan felt his understanding of Zhuo Yang had risen to a whole new level.

They were only simple Chinese home-style stir-fries, far from refined, but the wok hei wafting toward him was especially comforting.

As soon as the three sat down, however, Constantine began to complain.

"I don't want Chinese food! And where's my crayfish?"

Next door, Xiao Feng let out a long sigh.

Here we go.

Constantine was most troublesome when it came to eating. He had even managed to irritate the previous pair of soft-spoken actresses.

How would these two straight men of steel deal with him?

Qiao Huan and Zhuo Yang, however, merely glanced at each other.

Then they lowered their heads and began to eat.

They did not even spare Constantine a glance.

Zhuo Yang picked up an unremarkable-looking plate of Longjing tea crayfish tails—

Constantine's eyes widened. Was that the crayfish he had been longing for?

This substitute parent had even developed a new dish to please him!

A moment later, however, the dish floated past Constantine's eyes and was placed in front of Qiao Huan.

Zhuo Yang handed Qiao Huan the serving chopsticks. "You don't seem to like tea or coffee, so have more of this. It'll perk you up."

The dish was fragrant with tea, and paired with the tender, springy crayfish meat, it was indeed very appetizing. Qiao Huan immediately inhaled it like a storm.

Seeing how much the uncle was enjoying it, Constantine began to drool.

But if he spoke up now... wouldn't that be embarrassing?

When Zhuo Yang was about seventy percent full, he seemed to suddenly realize that he was on a childcare variety show, not a food show.

He looked at the plain rice in front of Constantine. "If you're not eating it, A-Huan and I will split it, all right?"

The ignored Constantine suddenly clenched his fists. "No, that's mine!"

But he was still too embarrassed to ask.

"Oh?" Zhuo Yang laughed. "You're such a big boy already, and you still guard your food?"

One look at Constantine's expression told Qiao Huan that the boy was already starving. All he needed now was a way to save face.

"Brother Zhuo, feed him."

Zhuo Yang gave a first impression of being too rough. He needed a chance to show how thoughtful he was.

Zhuo Yang looked troubled. "He's eight and still needs to be fed? How do I feed him?"

Qiao Huan thought for a moment. "Play airplane?"

He remembered Bai Jike telling him that people at the orphanage coaxed children by playing airplane and the like. No one could resist it.

"Brrrm, here comes the airplane." Zhuo Yang picked up a spoonful of food and spun it through the air. "Like this?"

Qiao Huan said, "Yes, that should be it!"

The two straight men's thought processes clicked into alignment with a snap.

Xiao Feng, watching from a distance, was speechless.

Had these two only read the preschool section of the parenting manual?

But after receiving his brother's praise, Zhuo Yang clearly perked up and gave his creativity free rein. "That's so boring. Watch me!"

With that, he put a tea leaf on the spoon, forming a little horn. "Here comes the Warhawk-14!"

Constantine: I'm eight, but I'm not stupid.

I stopped falling for that trick when I was three!

But seeing Constantine's reaction, the two men thought the trick was not appealing enough, so they began to make full use of the knowledge they had accumulated—

"Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat! This isn't a lotus root slice, it's a Gatling, with a firing rate of over 6,000 rounds per second!"

"Whoosh! This isn't a ginger slice, it's a Battlecruiser. It can make a space fold in just four seconds."

"Oh, this one's amazing. This isn't a crayfish tail, it's a Dolphin Anti-Ship Scout. Its jumping skill has a twenty-second cooldown."

Constantine: ...

Xiao Feng and the Production Team: ...

Were these two military enthusiasts? And now they were even competing with each other!

At the dining table.

Zhuo Yang and Qiao Huan's thought processes had aligned for once, and they were having a wonderful time.

The one thing they had forgotten was that the purpose of all this was to feed Constantine, not turn food into all kinds of weapons.

Finally, Constantine, ignored by the two uncles who were so absorbed in their military world that they were even about to map out attack routes for the red and blue sides, could bear it no longer.

He angrily picked up his little spoon and ate every last bit of the food.

Seeing this, Qiao Huan felt the method had worked and did not forget to praise his teammate. "Brother Zhuo really is impressive. You got the child to eat so happily with that method."

"Not at all," Zhuo Yang said modestly. "It was Brother A-Huan's idea that was good. You're truly attentive to the smallest detail. Here's a... heart for you."

Constantine looked at the giant watermelon the man made with his big hands and could only feel speechless.

The real reason he had wolfed down his food was that he did not want these two to have any more material for their game!

They were making him look childish!

After eating their fill, the three rested for a while. Constantine, meanwhile, was forced to take a nap because the two men with MAX combat power held him down on the bed.

That afternoon, Xiao Feng came in with the Production Team, carrying large bags of ingredients.

"All three of you, it's time to prepare for tonight's group dinner!"

Seeing Constantine growing more and more well-behaved and adorable, Xiao Feng was in an excellent mood.

"You'll choose suitable ingredients from these and make a dish with the child for his family."

Qiao Huan's eyes lit up.

The main quest had arrived.

Tonight's group dinner was the only chance he would have to meet Constantine's mother on the show. Judging by Fan Hui's plane ticket, she would be flying to L City, U Country, early tomorrow morning, and there was no telling when she would return.

According to the information Qiao Tang had provided, the only move Fan Hui had made recently was to sign her child up for this show.

Qiao Huan had to seize tonight's opportunity to establish a relationship with Fan Hui.

Beside him, Zhuo Yang grew excited too.

The reason he had switched groups was to get in touch with Fan Hui.

After doing square dancing for so long, Zhuo Yang had finally become good friends with Uncle Yang and his daughter, Yang Yang.

Yang Yang was a good friend of the old captain's deceased daughter, whom he wanted to investigate.

According to Yang Yang, the old captain's daughter had left Fan Hui's employ for Star Radiance just before the Dreamship project was completed.

As an artist coordinator, the old captain's daughter had initially had a workload at Star Radiance comparable to everyone else's, but she seemed dissatisfied with the status quo and competed frantically, leading to the tragedy of her death from overwork.

Zhuo Yang wanted to know whether she had been like that while working for Fan Hui, and why exactly she had left Radiance Entertainment at the particular time just before Dreamship was completed.

He had to ask Fan Hui and get to the bottom of it.

Seeing the two sleepy-eyed men suddenly perk up, Xiao Feng was delighted.

You finally remember you're here to film a childcare show!

Xiao Feng reminded them, "You can ask Constantine what his mother likes to eat, so she can feel reassured. We'll start the livestream later, so your preparations are important too!"

"Okay."

After listening, the two looked at the ingredients spread across the floor in unison.

There was everything from common pork and beef to rare king crab and ostrich meat.

There were all kinds of vegetables too.

But Qiao Huan and Zhuo Yang's gazes settled on something very unremarkable, something that barely even looked like an ingredient—

Artichokes.

The vegetable was oddly shaped, like a lotus that had yet to bloom.

Though it was known as the king of vegetables, only a small portion at the base of the leaves was edible despite its considerable size, so it had never made much headway in the domestic market.

Both men had done their research beforehand and knew it was Fan Hui's favorite.

Fan Hui had lived abroad for a long time and preferred lightly flavored food. Her favorite dish was a simple artichoke chicken soup.

But as far as anyone knew, they were supposed to know nothing about Fan Hui.

The point of this segment was also to get the brat to tell them which ingredient his mother liked.

After Xiao Feng and the Production Team left, Qiao Huan looked at Constantine and spoke first:

"Ding Ding, what does your mom like to eat?"

Constantine's little eyes darted around. "My mom likes pork belly."

The two men: ...

You little rascal, you really are the wicked one!

"Also, my mom likes strong flavors. Her favorite is... twice-cooked pork," Constantine said with a beaming smile, looking nothing like he was lying. "You have to make it really, really spicy."

"Oh..."

Zhuo Yang was wondering how to expose the lying little brat without revealing his identity when he saw that Qiao Huan had already picked up the pork belly and chilies. "These two?"

"Mm!" Constantine nodded earnestly.

Make that! My mom will be furious!

At that moment, the Production Team started the livestream, and a crowd of viewers instantly poured into the stream:

"Emmm, how old are the Xiu Si members? Can they even look after a kid?"

"They're probably here to cultivate some approachable persona."

"Our Xiu Si are ordinary people, thanks. They don't need to pretend to be approachable."

"But can grown men get along with a kid, especially a little brat..."

The next second, the comments fell silent.

At some point, Qiao Huan had opened the steamer, and a cloud of steam instantly blocked the entire camera. Not only could viewers no longer see his face, but for a moment, they could almost have believed an immortal who had just attained the Dao had come to livestream.

Even so, they heard several heavy thuds, like the sound of skin splitting and flesh tearing...

The viewers who had just arrived were scared silly. Qiao Huan had always looked impatient before. Could it be that he had resorted directly to our country's traditional educational method—stir-fried pork with a leather whip?

Meanwhile, in the kitchen.

Qiao Huan chopped the pork belly a few times with a series of thunks, broke up all the chilies, then spread his hands. "Ah."

Constantine was instantly on guard. Things didn't seem that simple.

"I ruined them, so we can't make twice-cooked pork anymore. We'll just have to save them for ourselves tonight," Qiao Huan said evenly. "Ding Ding, what's your mom's second-favorite dish?"

"Uh... seafood!"

His mom was allergic to seafood!

Zhuo Yang immediately reached for the only shellfish among the ingredients, but Qiao Huan beat him to it with a single stride. "I'll do it."

Then the viewers and Constantine watched together as Qiao Huan put all the seafood in the pot.

"It looks like it's almost cooked. How about we have a snack first?"

The commenters, who could hear him but couldn't see him:

"Hahahahaha, so Qiao Huan was cooking? Those noises were something else!"

"Men looking after kids: as long as they're alive?"

"But this is still a parenting show. Surely he can't be that rough! I look down on people who say things like that. Men or women, everyone should treat children well!"

"I don't think something's right. It seems like Qiao Huan's doing this on purpose..."

Constantine looked at the cooked shellfish and shook his head frantically. "I'm not eating it!"

"Then shall we fly the airplane again?"

"I'll eat!"

The shellfish, boiled in plain water and dipped in soy sauce and wasabi, brought tears to Constantine's eyes.

Even harder to bear was the psychological pressure.

Had his little scheme been seen through again?

"Save some room. There's twice-cooked pork for a snack tonight, too," Qiao Huan added leisurely.

The defenses of Constantine's young heart were instantly shattered.

"Boohoo, I'll never lie again," Constantine wailed. "Don't make me eat..." the food you make anymore.

The commenters, however, didn't know about the earlier airplane-feeding episode and immediately declared that they understood:

"The kid was lying. No wonder they called him a brat!"

"So Qiao Huan was using this method to teach the kid not to lie. I learned something!"

"Hhh, he saw through him at a glance. Qiao Huan really is a man who's been a big shot."

"But isn't Qiao Huan's cooking a bit too terrible? Look how scared the kid is!"

Seeing the surprise on Zhuo Yang's face, Qiao Huan made sure to explain, "He was already like this before you got here."

Zhuo Yang caught on immediately. "...I see."

"Now, can you tell us what your mom likes to eat most?"

Qiao Huan slowly raised his eyes and looked at Constantine.

"It's this!"

Constantine eagerly held out the artichoke.

"With chicken soup! That's my mom's favorite dish!"

"Oh."

Qiao Huan froze for a second.

He hadn't expected Constantine to cave so quickly. He'd thought the kid would tell another couple of lies.

Then he could have been fierce a little longer and, while he was at it, established a persona as someone who couldn't look after kids or cook.

That way, he could keep himself from becoming popular while making Zhuo Yang look good.

Unable to see the comments, Qiao Huan silently thought he'd written a very good script.

But he had overlooked two facts.

First, his intimidating gaze could scare even an ordinary adult convict out of his wits, let alone eight-year-old Constantine.

Second, his... culinary skills.

If they could be called "skills."

At that moment, Constantine felt that even if he had to copy his name another hundred times, he still wouldn't eat the twice-cooked pork this uncle made.

This uncle named Qiao Huan was simply too scary!

By comparison, the tall uncle was practically an immortal!

Seeing Constantine start to tremble, Qiao Huan muttered to himself, Is this kid really that hard to handle?

The Production Team must have exaggerated.

Even so, he showed no emotion. He stepped out of the camera's view and handed the apron to Zhuo Yang. "I'll leave it to you, then, Brother Zhuo."

Zhuo Yang was both surprised and delighted. Brother Qiao had done him such a huge favor!

"Okay!"

With Qiao Huan's earlier performance setting him off, the viewers' praise for Zhuo Yang naturally rose with the tide. They even managed to gush over how he knew to use the pot lid to block the steam.

And he actually showed his face, too!

Seeing the kitchen camera pointed at him, Zhuo Yang also understood another meaning behind Qiao Huan's actions just now.

Pretending it was an accident, he gently bumped the table so the camera could also capture the person behind him.

Thus, viewers who clicked back into the stream saw an utterly harmonious scene:

In the foreground, Zhuo Yang wore an apron, his tall frame moving swiftly about the cramped kitchen. He had the air of a male mom who could take out a whole truckload of bad guys with one punch.

Behind him, Qiao Huan lounged lazily on the sofa, one hand ruffling Constantine's little curls as he watched Zhuo Yang, the aura of a big shot practically leaping out at the viewer.

"These three are so heartwarming!"

"What brat? He's such an adorable kid!"

"Zhuo Yang can actually cook? My impression of him as a rough guy has really changed!"

On the sofa.

Constantine, whose hair was being ruffled, was actually trembling with fear, praying only that the tall uncle would hurry over and rescue him.

Qiao Huan's own mind was far from at ease.

He had asked Qiao Tang to look into Zhuo Yang's identity several days ago. If his background was clean, the investigation shouldn't have taken this long.

Of the Xiu Si, he and Ye Yiwei were both undercover agents, while Xiao Bai was a red hat hacker with severe social anxiety. Zhuo Yang was the most normal of them.

And he was working so hard at cooking, showing himself off...

He really wants to become famous!

Qiao Huan only hoped Zhuo Yang's background was squeaky clean and that his path to stardom would be smooth.

At that thought, he used his watch to send Qiao Tang a message urging him on for the first time in his life.

Buffing:

[It's been so long. Is everything okay?]

But to his surprise, the other party replied quickly.

It's Tang as in Candy, Not Tang:

[TvT]

Qiao Huan: ...

What does that mean?