Akainu, Fuck Your Mother

South it was!

Thanks to his previous experience scouting the north, Ruidio was clearly much more familiar with roaming the southern half of Ohara this time. He even dodged the stray cannonballs overhead more calmly, recognizing the distinctive sound of cannon fire tearing through the air from a distance and moving through the woods to avoid it in advance.

When he reached the edge of the woods at the southernmost point, Ruidio spotted a ship in the distance. Its sails bore the large World Government emblem, a cross with five circles. It was Cipher Pol No. 9's ship, with the useless leader Spandine and two expert agents aboard.

"..."

Ruidio noted its exact location and the approximate time, then turned and made his way southeast along the coast.

A standard buster call consisted of five Marine Headquarters Vice Admirals commanding ten enormous warships. Monkey, chicken, and dog accounted for six of them, which were mostly concentrated along the western coast of Ohara. After all, the town where people were concentrated was in that direction too.

Only four warships were firing nonstop along the eastern coast, so they were bound to be spaced farther apart... Ruidio pushed through the bushes and stepped onto the beach. This should be at the edge of a relatively open field of view between two warships, one ahead and one behind.

He walked along the beach as if no one else were there, then suddenly had an idea and plunged into the sea.

Ruidio was trying to swim underwater toward the open sea when cannon fire suddenly rang out overhead, and the water exploded around him.

Those fucking Marine Headquarters Vice Admirals have pretty sharp Observation Haki right now, huh?!

Ruidio twisted around and swam rapidly underwater toward the northeast. Listening to the rhythm of the shells striking the surface above, he picked his moment and burst out of the water.

With his mastery-level running technique going full blast, he sprinted straight into the fiercely burning, smoke-filled woods and immediately vanished from sight.

Boom! A shell landed right behind him where he had entered the woods, blasting a huge crater into the ground.

Soaking wet, Ruidio raced onward, but his mind was occupied with his plans. What could he do to get Olvia through the world-destroying bombardment of the buster call alive...?

Before he knew it, he had crossed Ohara and approached the western coast. Coming toward him was a black-haired little girl fleeing with a look of terror on her face.

Little Robin's face was streaked with tears. She was startled to see someone running toward her.

The person reached into his pocket and took out a coin. He leaped, stepped on a tree trunk by the road to force a change of direction, then jumped to her side as she ran and pressed the coin into her hand.

[You have hired Nico Robin for approximately 1 hour]

Huh?

Ruidio was a little surprised. He instinctively grabbed little Robin's shoulder as she struggled with all her might, then decisively chose [Delivery] to return.

The scenery blurred, and Ruidio found himself back in the guest bedroom Kaya's family had prepared for him. The endless roar of cannon fire cut off, and the suffocating smell of gunpowder smoke vanished. Only a faint floral fragrance lingered in the bedroom, from flowers Kaya had picked that morning.

"..."

Ruidio looked at his empty hand. Eight-year-old Robin, whose shoulder he had still been holding when he returned, had not been brought along.

I can't bring people back?

If I can't bring people back, why the hell did you say she was hired?! You dog-brained system, don't go crashing yourself with some bug.

Ruidio shook his head speechlessly, then turned and fell backward onto the bed.

After going back and forth so many times, even Ruidio was exhausted. Keeping an eye out for falling shells all the time was seriously nerve-racking!

The instance might be reset many times, but he had only one life.

He would rest and recover, then deal with this lousy mission tomorrow.

The next day—

After breakfast with Kaya's family, Ruidio had Merry change his dressing and wrap him in fresh bandages. Merry asked in confusion, "Did you go swimming in the sea yesterday, Mr. Ruidio?"

Meanwhile, he quietly considered the several plans he had prepared for the day. Once he was alone, he decisively opened Robin's five-star difficulty mission.

Delivery!

His luck was bad this time. He was a little far from the Tree of Knowledge.

Ruidio got his bearings, stretched his legs, and sprinted off at full speed.

By the time he arrived, the three from Cipher Pol No. 9 had already hurried away. Olvia and little Robin were still holding each other and sobbing, while Jaguar D. Saul came thundering over from the west, almost upon them—

Ruidio rushed in first and struck twice with the edges of his hands, knocking both Olvia and little Robin unconscious. Then he picked Olvia up and raced due south, in the direction the three from Cipher Pol No. 9 had gone.

As for the unconscious little Robin, leaving her there would hold Jaguar D. Saul up and keep him from following and getting in the way.

Kalifa's father Laskey and the tall Red-Haired Shanks Cipher Pol No. 9 agent were indeed experts, but their superior Spandine was hardly any stronger than an ordinary person. A trio like that naturally couldn't run very fast.

Carrying Olvia in one hand, Ruidio raced along, expertly dodging the shells that kept falling at random overhead. Soon he spotted the three men in black suits ahead, making their way through the woods toward the Cipher Pol No. 9 ship moored on the southern coast.

"Hey! Wait!" Ruidio shouted. "You dropped something!"

If he remembered correctly, hadn't Cipher Pol No. 9 still wanted to interrogate Olvia for some information? In that case, all he really had to do was get her onto their ship. Never mind whether she survived in the end; surely she would at least live through the buster call and let him complete his mission, right?

The three from Cipher Pol No. 9 spun around at the shout behind them. They were somewhat surprised to see a black-haired boy catching up with Olvia in his grasp.

The tall Red-Haired Shanks man in the black suit and Kalifa's father Laskey, both Cipher Pol No. 9 agents, stopped and immediately moved to snatch Olvia from Ruidio. But just then, several shells came whistling toward them overhead—

"Hey! Forget that woman! Get over here and protect me!!" Spandine cursed at them. A shell landed at his feet with a boom, scaring him into jumping aside. Another came whistling down, about to hit him squarely. Laskey, who had been charging at Ruidio, decisively turned back. He stepped through the air with a pat, pat, actually flying, and kicked the shell aimed at Spandine away. It exploded into a ball of fire in midair with a boom.

"So that's Geppo, one of the Six Powers," Ruidio said, watching.

Chapter 29: Akainu, Fuck Your Mother

[Cover serial: Bonney Basking in the Sun, Part 5: "Wah!!"]

[In the woods, Bonney curiously chased butterflies; Bonney swung a stick while chewing on a wildflower; Bonney cried as she ran from a flying beetle.]

With the buster call underway and its indiscriminate cannon fire carpeting the island, this little island had already become an apocalyptic wasteland where all order had collapsed.

In such extreme conditions, Spandine knew full well that his title as a Cipher Pol No. 9 chief could not give a weakling like him, who had little strength, power or a sense of security.

The two Cipher Pol No. 9 experts beside him were his power; they were the ones who could make him feel safe.

"Come back!!"

Spandine shouted at the tall Red-Haired Shanks man in the black suit.

The man had been about to go over and investigate after Ruidio caught up with Olvia, but he hesitated at the order. "But we should take this woman..."

If we bring this woman along to slow us down, who's going to protect me?

Is the government's mission more important, or is my life as your superior more important?

Spandine said coldly, "Are you disobeying a direct order?"

The tall Red-Haired Shanks man and Kalifa's father both seemed long accustomed to Spandine's behavior. Not bothering to argue further, they lifted him up between them and raced away.

Wait, guys?

Ruidio watched in disbelief as the three Cipher Pol No. 9 agents in black suits ran off toward the southern coast without looking back, vanishing in a flash.

Ruidio was unwilling to give up and continued chasing them with Olvia in hand. Suddenly, a horizontal slash nearly ten meters long flew straight at him, cutting through the trees in its path with overwhelming force.

So that's Rankyaku!

Ruidio hurriedly dodged the enormous, razor-sharp slash, then suddenly noticed that the weight he was carrying had grown lighter. Olvia?

[Nico Olvia has died. This mission has failed. Returning shortly...]

Ruidio sighed and was delivered to Ohara yet again.

Even the dense cannon fire of the buster call sounded monotonous.

"Robin!"

"Jaguar D. Saul!"

"Mom!"

Ruidio shook his head and withdrew to the side for the time being.

Mother and daughter said their final goodbyes...

Jaguar D. Saul held the sobbing little Robin in his palm and thundered away to the west...

Ruidio went over and knocked Olvia unconscious with a practiced chop of his hand.

This time, however, he did not rush to chase the three Cipher Pol No. 9 agents. Instead, he hid in the southern woods and jumped to the top of the canopy, watching Jaguar D. Saul's conspicuous figure from afar.

Ruidio waited, silently counting the time.

Once he figured Kuzan should be busy arresting Jaguar D. Saul and have no time to come cause him trouble, he took Olvia and headed south after the three Cipher Pol No. 9 agents without looking back.

"You are..." Olvia slowly came to, her eyes widening in shock. But in the next second, her pupils trembled and her gaze went vacant as she was knocked unconscious again.

Whoosh—

On the southwestern coast, Ruidio burst from the burning woods with Olvia in hand, wreathed in smoke and heat. He saw Cipher Pol No. 9's World Government ship, its deck packed with agents in black suits and apparently about to sail away.

"Hey! You left something behind!"

Ruidio held Robin's mother high, her distinctive white hair fluttering in the wind.

Aboard the Cipher Pol No. 9 ship, Spandine turned and said something to Kalifa's father Laskey beside him. But just as Laskey was about to move, he suddenly looked to the side and stepped back.

A mass of blazing lava, like a meteorite, like a shooting star, whistled through the air in a shallow arc, flying straight toward Ruidio and Olvia on the shore.

Ruidio had had enough!

You Marines, can't you coordinate your work with the other departments?

Bunch of vermin!

The heat of the Hell Hound meteorite descended from the sky. Ruidio shook his head and sighed in the firelight.

Fuck your mother, Akainu.

"Robin!"

"Jaguar D. Saul!"

"Mom!"

Ruidio looked utterly bored as he walked past the three of them in the midst of their parting, his hands in his pockets. He paid Olvia no further attention.

The fiercely burning Tree of Knowledge receded behind him as he went alone in pursuit of the three Cipher Pol No. 9 agents.

This goddamn mission had really set a fire in him. He would go have a couple of fights to vent.

East Blue, Syrup Village, the guest bedroom in Kaya's house—