You Can't Do This or That Either

"..."

Ruidio brushed the sand off his clothes, sighing inwardly.

He had been just another rookie, minding his own business in the East Blue and heading off to fight a little rookie like Kuro. How had he ended up facing the great Crocodile, one of the illustrious Shichibukai?

Judging by the mission's estimated difficulty, was Crocodile's overall strength probably four stars?

What a mess!

He had teleported all that way, only to come back without getting Robin's mission and with an extra problem he couldn't solve for the time being...

"Hmm?"

Something moving suddenly caught the corner of Ruidio's eye. He looked closer and saw what seemed to be... thick smoke pouring into the cabin through the gaps?

Wisps of white smoke rolled across the floor and silently gathered behind him, forming the upper body of a burly, white-haired man with two cigars clenched between his teeth and a short, forked staff in his hand. He brought it down hard on the back of Ruidio's head.

Bang!

Blood splattered. Ruidio stumbled forward, caught himself on the solid-wood banquet table, and swung it around at whoever was behind him.

He really wasn't just talking tough. When Ruidio saw the thick smoke flowing across the floor as though it were alive, he had already had a suspicion.

But the bastard who had ambushed him from behind was no pushover. By the time Ruidio realized something was wrong behind him, he had already taken a heavy blow to the back of the head.

Fuck you, Smoker!

Bang!

As the solid-wood table swung toward him, the white-haired Smoker turned into a cloud of smoke. The table passed right through him and smashed a hole in the cabin wall instead, while the swirling smoke gathered back into Smoker's form.

A little booklet fell to the floor with a clatter.

Smoker glanced at it and said coldly, "That's Tashigi's Famous Sword Manual. I'm warning you, Buggy Pirates lackey, she's a Marine. If you dare—"

"Look again," Ruidio said, stepping on the book.

Smoker frowned and looked back down at the book on the floor. It was gone!

Whoosh!

A faint rush of air came from above.

With a sword fanatic like Tashigi always around, Smoker was all too familiar with the sound of a blade slashing through the air.

Tashigi had even eagerly told him that Famous Swords of different quality made different sounds as they cut through the air, as though each blade had a unique voice and even a personality of its own...

And just from the sound of the blade swinging at him now, he could tell it was a first-rate Famous Sword with an arrogant "personality"!

Smoker's face and torso were split apart, but there was no flesh or blood at the cut, only billowing white smoke. With two cigars clenched between his teeth, he said calmly, "It's no use. No matter how good the blade, if—"

"Fuck your if."

Ruidio swung Malevolent Shrine at his head again.

Impatient, Smoker raised his Jitte to block, intending to subdue his opponent at once and demand Tashigi's whereabouts. But as soon as he raised his weapon, there was a clang, and the other man's blade bounced away easily, as though there had been no force behind the swing at all. It was a feint!

Instead, the Jitte in his hand suddenly dipped as his opponent grabbed it and pulled hard—

Smoker realized at once: this kid not only knew about Logia users, he also knew Seastone could counter them! And he had recognized at a glance that the weapon in Smoker's hand was tipped with Seastone...

"Still haven't found him?"

"No. Isn't this weird? Did he sneak off on his own?"

Tashigi and Nami had searched the ship over and over, but they still couldn't find Ruidio anywhere. They couldn't help wondering if he had left without a word.

Nami was puzzled. She had thought the guy wanted something from her; otherwise, why would he have sought her out for no apparent reason? But now he had vanished again. What a weirdo!

Tashigi suddenly said, "Oh, right, the same thing happened on the passenger ship. I followed him aboard, but once we were on the ship, I couldn't find him anywhere..."

"Wait." Nami suddenly raised her index finger. "Listen—" She looked toward the depths of the ship, where the faint sounds of someone smashing things could be heard: bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Boom!

The deck near them suddenly burst apart, and a huge cloud of thick smoke shot out.

Nami burst into tears and raised her hands. "What the hell is that? Did some explosives go off?"

The cloud of smoke crashed and hurtled across the deck, rolling this way and that with tremendous force. The bound members of the Buggy Pirates shrieked in fright.

Gradually, two figures became visible inside the smoke, grappling with each other. Voices came from within:

"Let go!" The voice sounded a little familiar.

"That's mine." It was the steady voice of a man, though his words were muffled, as if he had something in his mouth.

Tashigi adjusted her glasses and exclaimed, "Mr. Smoker?"

"Tashigi?"

The cigar-clenching figure in the smoke sounded a little surprised.

"Ruidio?" Nami said with a smile. "What are you doing?"

The thick smoke drew back into Smoker and disappeared. Clenching his cigars, he saw Tashigi standing nearby, safe and sound, and noticed the pirates tied together on the deck. Buggy, in particular, was unmistakable with his red nose. Smoker suddenly understood.

Tashigi didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Mr. Smoker, I think you've misunderstood."

"..."

Smoker sighed and said to Ruidio, who was struggling with him over the Seastone Jitte, "Sorry. I was reckless."

He loosened his grip and let Ruidio take the Jitte.

Ruidio hefted the heavy Jitte, then looked at Smoker and beckoned him with a finger.

??

Tashigi and Nami, and even Buggy and the other pirates, were all baffled.

Smoker folded his arms and silently turned his back to Ruidio.

Ruidio swung the Jitte and struck Smoker hard on the back of the head.

Bang!

Blood splattered. Smoker spun forward through the air.

Tashigi cried out and tried to rush over, but Smoker raised a hand to stop her as he landed with a stumble.

Blood dripping from his head, Smoker looked back and smiled. "Even?"

"Just about." Ruidio waved the Jitte, then suddenly thought of something and whipped his head toward Buggy. During his scuffle with Smoker, the large water jar containing Buggy's torso had been knocked over.

And because they had been soaked for so long, the ropes binding Buggy's torso and limbs were inexplicably on the verge of breaking...

Ruidio walked over and planted a foot on Buggy's torso and limbs as they tried to sneak back together with his head. He laughed. "Well, would you look at that. For other people it's 'death comes,' but for you it's 'death leaves,' huh? I looked away for just a moment, and you almost got away."

So this is Conqueror's Haki luck? How terrifying!

Chapter 9: You Can't Do This or That Either

What a beast!

Ruidio kicked Buggy's head aside and tied his limbs and torso up tight again. With the large water jar overturned, Ruidio couldn't be bothered to fetch more water. Instead, he hung Buggy's limbs and torso from a rope and lowered them over the side, straight into the sea breaking against the ship.

Buggy's round nose grew even redder and bigger with anger, until it looked ready to burst.

Meanwhile, Smoker explained what had happened on his end. As it turned out, he had been patrolling the sea on his motorcycle—Nami: "A motorcycle? At sea?" Ruidio: "A sea bike?"—when the Den Den Mushi on his vehicle suddenly received a distress signal. He had rushed over to find a passenger ship that had been attacked by pirates.

It was the Kira, the passenger ship Ruidio and the other two had been on earlier.

Smoker heard that a short-haired swordswoman with glasses had been taken by the pirates and guessed it was Tashigi, who was on leave. He immediately went full throttle, speeding across the sea on his motorcycle in pursuit.

When he spotted the Buggy Pirates' large ship, he had no intention of concealing himself. Yet even when he drew close, no one aboard the pirate ship noticed him—Tashigi and Nami were searching the cabins for Ruidio. There wasn't even a pirate on lookout.

Suspicious and worried that something was wrong, Smoker turned his whole body into smoke and quietly slipped into the cabin. That was how the misunderstanding with Ruidio had led to their fight...

"This is Mr. Smoker, a Marine Headquarters captain stationed in Loguetown."

Tashigi introduced him to Ruidio and Nami, then said, "These are Mr. Ruidio and Miss Nami. They..." She briefly told Smoker what had happened: how Ruidio had stepped forward when the pirates attacked the passenger ship, how he had spent a fortune to persuade the pirate ship to withdraw, and how he had immediately sprung into action and subdued the despicable Buggy Pirates after the passenger ship sailed away.

"Marine Headquarters?" Nami exclaimed.

Marine Headquarters and its branches were entirely different things; the intensity and standards of their training couldn't be compared. Her late adoptive mother had been a Marine, so Nami had heard a little about them.

"Captain?" Ruidio said in surprise.

Smoker clenched his cigars and gave Ruidio a careful look. "You defeated Buggy, a Devil Fruit User with a bounty of fifteen million Beli. That's really impressive for someone your age! And you're strong enough to match me, too. What do you do? Are you a swordsman?"

Ruidio laughed. "Match you? You're too modest. You weren't using your full strength, were you? As for me, a swordsman... heh, I wouldn't say I am yet. I'm still working on it."

Nami felt as though the two were flattering each other, and found it rather amusing.

Now that the misunderstanding had been cleared up, however, Smoker didn't plan to stay long. He looked around, already intending to take the Buggy Pirates away with him.

Smoker added, "If you want the bounties on these people, you can come with us."

Ruidio smiled. "Thanks, but I'll pass."

Smoker still felt a little guilty. After all, he had been too hasty: Ruidio was a civilian who had subdued pirates, yet Smoker had ambushed him and struck him on the back of the head without a word...

Ruidio said, "If you really want to apologize, how about teaching me a move or two?"

"That's easy enough," Smoker said. "What do you want to learn? I'll say this first: I got my smoke powers from eating a Devil Fruit, so I can't teach you those."

Nami thought that Devil Fruits were absurd, actually letting a living person turn into a cloud of smoke! Then what about Ruidio's so-called magic...?

"I want to learn Haki."

Ruidio didn't waste words. "Armament Haki would be best, but Observation Haki is fine too. If you can teach me Conqueror's Haki, I'll settle for that."

Do I look like someone who can use Conqueror's Haki?

Smoker was speechless.

Tashigi was a little surprised that Mr. Ruidio knew about Haki.

Still, it wasn't a secret. The seas were full of extraordinary people, and even the East Blue, known as the weakest sea, had produced a world-renowned powerhouse like Pirate King Roger. She was making too much of the fact that someone here knew about the Three Types of Haki.

"I'm sorry,"

Smoker said in a low voice, "but I haven't learned Haki yet."

Didn't you get patched?

Ruidio said in surprise, "Marine Headquarters is a super-elite organization. They don't teach Haki?"

Smoker said, "Do you know how many people train in each Marine Headquarters intake? We all train together in large groups, focusing on physical conditioning and the use and maintenance of blades, firearms, and warships. We also have to learn all kinds of navigational knowledge, basic geography of the four seas, and the basics of more than a hundred Affiliated Nations... A person's time and energy are limited, and an instructor's even more so. The training camp teaches the fundamentals. Haki is an advanced power, and it isn't a requirement for becoming a qualified Marine, so naturally they don't teach it."

Ruidio remembered that when Kuzan had sought out Garp as his master in his youth, he hadn't known Haki either, yet had claimed there was nothing left for him to learn at the training camp...

Nami grinned. "I think I get it. I don't know what this Haki is, but since it isn't required, is it possible your Marine recruit instructors don't know it themselves?"

Tashigi added, "But if Captain Smoker wanted to train in Haki now, he could easily find a Haki expert at Marine Headquarters to ask for guidance."

Smoker said to Ruidio, "Pick something else you want to learn."