The system was not only useless, but also a complete goofball

The moment the white light struck, Lu Ping thought he was dead.

Then he found there was nothing before his eyes.

No mine tunnels, no overseer, no chipped pickaxe.

No sound, no smell, no physical sensation whatsoever.

There was only a blindingly clean white expanse, filling heaven and earth without an edge in sight.

Then the words came.

A line of black Song typeface materialized in the very center of the white background.

The characters popped out one by one, neither fast nor slow, with the rhythm of an old-fashioned typewriter.

[Simulation begins.]

[You are Lu Ping, eighteen years old, a slave at the Black Tiger Gang's mine.]

[No cultivation, no backing, no resources. You hold a chipped pickaxe, and the rock face of mine tunnel number three stands before you.]

Lu Ping froze for a moment.

Black text on a white background, dry as dust, without the slightest bit of grandeur.

A text adventure game?

Was transmigration this shabby these days?

Before he could complain, new text popped up.

[New recruit onboarding. Drawing new recruit benefits...]

[New recruit onboarding. Generating new recruit benefits...]

Those two lines stayed there for a full three seconds and flashed twice.

Then a third line popped up inside a gray border.

[Congratulations, you have obtained a Trait: Flattery (B-grade)—all beings with higher cultivation or status than you will feel pleased by your flattery, and their favorability toward you will increase substantially.]

[Current Trait slots equipped: 0/3. Equip this Trait? (Trait slots are not full; equipping is mandatory)]

Lu Ping looked at the first Trait the system had given him and felt somewhat disappointed. Why couldn't it be an Innate Dao Body, or something like starting off with time stop?

Even gaining one point of strength every day would have been fine.

For his new recruit benefit, he really had gotten an office skill, the ability to kiss ass.

Fine. Better than nothing.

Besides, what did this B-grade mean?

Lu Ping focused his attention on "yes."

The instant he equipped the Trait, the color of the text against the white background remained unchanged, but the content that rolled out next took a turn.

[You discover that every flattering word you say has become unusually natural and unusually precise.]

[The triangular-eyed overseer begins to see you in a different light, occasionally sparing you a couple of lashes.]

[When the fat steward from the back kitchen passes the mine tunnel, you say, "Steward, sir, you're looking well! Has the food gotten better lately?" He bursts out laughing.]

The corner of Lu Ping's mouth twitched.

In his previous life at the company, he had never managed to flatter anyone just right; instead of patting the horse's rump, he always hit its leg or its hoof.

Now the system had gone and given him auto-aim.

The text didn't give him much time to reflect before it continued scrolling.

[At dusk, the mine suddenly begins to tremble.]

[A supporting timber breaks with a crash, and everyone runs for the exit.]

[The triangular-eyed overseer's whip lashes out, sending anyone in his way flying.]

[The old slave Uncle Sun's leg is pinned beneath a falling rock, and he screams.]

[Without hesitation, you turn back and grab Uncle Sun's clothes, trying to pull him out.]

[Uncle Sun's scream cuts off abruptly.]

[Falling rubble breaks his neck, and all you pull free is half a piece of bloodstained coarse hemp cloth.]

Lu Ping was slightly taken aback, then continued reading.

[You mine for thirty days.]

[Seven layers of calluses form on your hands.]

[Slave number four, beside you, dies, crushed by ore.]

[Slave number five dies too, beaten to death by the overseer.]

[You are still alive.]

Five lines of text, thirty days, three lives.

Lu Ping stared at the words "you are still alive," a chill slowly spreading down his back.

He was "reading" his own life.

That life was being presented as a list of the dead, and his name had yet to come up.

[Day 37. The triangular-eyed overseer is in a bad mood and is looking for someone to take it out on. His gaze sweeps toward you.]

At that point, the text suddenly stopped.

The white background remained still and quiet for two seconds.

Then three options popped up all at once, each preceded by a letter.

[A: Lower your head and play dead, shrinking yourself into the most inconspicuous shape possible.]

[B: Step forward of your own accord, present the largest piece of ore you mined today with both hands, and say with a fawning smile, "Sir, thank you for your hard work."]

[C: Throw out your chest, look the overseer straight in the eye, and shout, "I want to see your boss! I'm filing a complaint against you!"]

Lu Ping's attention lingered on C for three-tenths of a second.

File a complaint? With whom?

The leader of the Black Tiger Gang?

Or the cultivation world's labor arbitration committee?

That option had to have been slipped in by the system to test the lower limits of his intelligence.

Lu Ping decisively chose B.

Since he had equipped Flattery, he might as well use it to the fullest.

[You chose Flattery.]

[The triangular-eyed overseer takes the ore and grunts, then turns his whip on slave number nine beside you.]

[Slave number nine receives seventeen lashes and dies that night in a corner of the mine tunnel.]

[You survive.]

[You feel a wave of indescribable nausea.]

[But you survive.]

That last sentence was repeated.

The black text on the white background had no warmth, no smell of blood, no sound of slave number nine's dying gasps.

But Lu Ping realized this wasn't a game.

This was the real future he was about to experience.

Slave number nine might also have been a living person with a name of his own.

Maybe he had a family; maybe he had once been a good person too.

But in this mine, he had died, after Lu Ping handed over that piece of ore.

The system hadn't given him the option to "feel at peace with himself," much less an option to "have the best of both worlds."

The text continued scrolling, and Lu Ping's "first year" was compressed into a weekly report.

[You learn to quietly wipe the stone stool the overseer often sits on with your sleeve lining before work each day, leaving not a speck of dust.]

[You learn to bow lower than anyone else when the overseer passes by.]

[You learn to reduce your presence to zero when someone is being beaten.]

Every one of them was a skill for clinging to life.

But Lu Ping read them one by one and even began silently taking notes in his head.

After the simulation ended, he would return to reality and face the same mine, the same overseer, and the same rules.

Lu Ping's eyes darkened slightly. Even if he gained nothing but these memories, this simulation had already been worth it.

[Day 289. A small cave-in occurs at the mine, sealing off mine tunnel number three, where you are, for three days and three nights. Seven slaves are trapped inside.]

[Options appear.]

[A: Calm the other slaves and organize everyone to take turns digging, conserving strength while waiting for rescue.]

[B: Take advantage of the chaos to steal the half piece of dry rations hidden on a dead slave, ensuring you can last until the end.]

[C: Shout at the collapsed rock face, "The management of the Black Tiger Gang's mine has a serious lack of workplace safety awareness! I'm reporting you to the relevant authorities!"]

This time, Lu Ping couldn't even be bothered to look at C.

He stared at option A for two seconds.

Calming everyone down and organizing their own rescue sounded very decent.

But with seven half-starved slaves crammed together in the dark for three days and three nights, could decency put food in their mouths?

Besides, this was a simulator.

The simulator didn't reward kindness; it only recorded results.

Lu Ping chose B.

[You steal the dry rations.]

[When the mine tunnel is dug open three days later, only three of the seven are still alive. You are one of them.]

[No one knows about the dry rations.]

[Your conscience learns to shut up in the first year.]

Lu Ping found, to his surprise, that he felt hardly any emotional stir.

In his previous life at the company, he had fought competitors for clients and climbed upward by stepping on other people's proposals.

In essence, how was that any different from stealing that half piece of dry rations?

The only difference was that in his previous life, he had fought for performance results; now he was fighting for his life.

The stakes were different, but the logic was the same.

[Age nineteen, one year of service completed. Generating Trait...]

The text flashed a few times, and a Trait in a gray border emerged from the white background.

[Congratulations, you have obtained a Trait: Paid Pooping (C-grade)—your earnings are unaffected while you use the toilet.]

Lu Ping stared at the Trait's name in silence for a full five seconds.

Paid Pooping, C-grade.

He had struggled through an entire year in a mine where human lives were worth less than grass.

He had nearly died who knew how many times, and in the end, the Trait the system generated for him was Paid Pooping.

C-grade. Lu Ping thought that rating was too high.

[Current Trait slots equipped: 1/3. Equip this Trait? (Trait slots are not full; equipping is mandatory)]

Once again, equipping it was mandatory. He had no choice.

Paid Pooping it is, then. At least it's better than "Unpaid Pooping."

Lu Ping fooled himself for a moment and reluctantly swallowed his frustration.

The text continued moving forward.

[You equip Paid Pooping.]

[Currently equipped: Flattery (B-grade) / Paid Pooping (C-grade).]

[This year, the back kitchen is short-handed.]

[The fat steward remembers the sweet-talking kid from the mine.]

[You leave the mine and are transferred to the Black Tiger Gang's back kitchen to do odd jobs.]

[The death rate drops from ninety percent to twenty percent.]

[Though twenty percent is still deadly enough, at least you no longer have to sleep with your head on ore every day and eat with the smell of corpses in your nose.]

[You learn to chop vegetables, tend the fire, and scrub pots.]

[You also learn to secretly hide leftovers inside your clothes and take them back to eat.]

[The Trait Flattery has saved your life.]

[You are full of anticipation for the coming Trait.]

[If you can just get another B-grade, you might be able to enter the Black Tiger Gang directly from the back kitchen.]

[You feel you are only one step away from defying heaven and changing your fate.]

[Age twenty, two years of service. Generating Trait...]