That Power Is the Reason to Become a Soul Reaper

Yexing Hu didn't remember how he had gotten back to the Fon Clan.

His consciousness was like a stone sunk in deep water. Whenever it occasionally surfaced, he could see Cilian holding him by the collar with his one arm, see members of the Onmitsukidō silently escorting something away by another route, see Shimizu—was that Shimizu?—being supported by two people, limp as a pile of mud.

Then came the white light of the medical room. Someone put something on him, cool to the touch and smelling of herbs. The light of Kaidō flickered before his eyes as Reishi flowed slowly through his body, repairing the places that had been drained dry.

"That's it," a voice said. "Lie down for two hours and you can leave. Change the muscle fatigue patches again tomorrow."

The person left.

Hu kept his eyes closed, letting the coolness spread through his limbs. After an unknown amount of time, he felt most of the soreness and swelling subside, and he could move his hands and feet again.

He sat up and looked down at himself. Several palm-sized paper talismans were stuck to his body, covered in patterns he couldn't understand. He flexed his fingers—not bad. He was still a little weak, but walking wouldn't be a problem.

Someone lay in the other bed, facing away from him, wrapped in a blanket and motionless.

Hu walked over to take a look.

It was Shimizu.

His face was as white as paper, his lips were dry and cracked, and his brow was tightly furrowed. Even in his sleep, he looked to be in pain. His breathing was shallow, his chest rising and falling so slightly it was almost impossible to see.

Hu stood by the bed for a while without speaking.

He remembered how Shimizu had looked when he was carried away, the look in his eyes as he knelt and begged Cilian to give him a quick death, and how he had looked before leaving that day, a little nervous but full of hope...

Hu turned, picked up Jiku'a from where it rested nearby, and pushed the door open.

There was no one in the corridor. It was late at night. Hu walked back to his room, opened the door, and threw himself onto the bed.

He stared at the ceiling, his mind blank.

But that blankness didn't last long.

Images of Sizhuzhai rose bit by bit like the incoming tide: Shimizu's face hidden beneath the octopus mask, the wails of those clothed Hollows, Cilian asking him coldly, "How many people can you still save?" And himself, lying on the ground, unable to move like a dead dog—

Those Hollows... how many had there been?

He didn't know. By then, he could no longer see anything clearly.

Hu closed his eyes.

He remembered the things he had shouted at Sizhuzhai yesterday—"I'll change everything I can't stand until I'm satisfied!" "I'm here to have a blast fighting!" How imposing, how cool he had been. Jiku'a had responded to him then, giving him power and a finishing move to defeat the Gillian.

And then?

Then he had lain on the ground without even the strength to count how many people still needed saving.

"How many people can you still save now?"

He didn't know.

Hu clenched his fists, then loosened them. Jiku'a lay beside his pillow, its blade gleaming dimly in the moonlight. He stared at the sword and suddenly felt unworthy of touching it:

Jiku'a chose me because of the things I shouted, right? Because I was determined to change everything, right?

But what use was determination? Could it have given him the strength to save the others after cutting down the Gillian? Could it have kept him from being struck speechless when Cilian questioned him?

He thought of his life before he transmigrated. Back then, he had played games, watched anime, and occasionally imagined what he would do if he had power. But what had happened when he really got it? He had become a selfish nobody, carried away with himself and blind to the bigger picture.

Maybe... he should never have become a Soul Reaper at all.

Once that thought surfaced, he couldn't suppress it again.

Hu stared at the ceiling and lay awake all night.

Early morning

The sound of the door sliding open interrupted Hu's thoughts.

He turned his head and saw Cilian standing in the doorway. His single eye glanced over Hu's condition before he came in and sat down at the table.

"Awake?"

Hu said nothing.

Cilian didn't mind. He was silent for a while before he spoke.

"You passed the 'cutting' assessment."

Hu froze.

He stared at Cilian, thinking he had misheard. He immediately sat up and asked again.

"What?"

"I said you passed the 'cutting' assessment," Cilian repeated. "Releasing your Zanpakuto's Shikai was the assessment. You did it yesterday."

Hu opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. After a long struggle, he finally managed to ask:

"Why?"

Cilian raised an eyebrow slightly. "Why what?"

"I..." Hu's voice was hoarse. "I got carried away at Sizhuzhai. I was so busy trying to look cool that I forgot there were so many people left to save. Instructor Cilian, you were right to scold me yesterday. I'm not qualified at all—"

"Wait." Cilian raised a hand to interrupt him. "You think I scolded you yesterday because I thought you weren't qualified?"

Hu froze.

Seeing his expression, Cilian suddenly sighed. He stood up, walked to the window, and turned his back to Hu.

"Yexing Hu, I scolded you yesterday because you got too carried away at Sizhuzhai." He turned around, his single eye fixed on Hu. "Because you were foolish enough not to understand how to allocate your strength. The Onmitsukidō members present could have dealt with the Gillian, but they couldn't save the residents who had been turned into Hollows. You could have, but you didn't."

Hu opened his mouth.

"You saved Shimizu and released your Zanpakuto's Shikai." Cilian's voice was even. "You did both those things beautifully. But what did you do next? You ignored your orders and took on the Gillian alone, and in the end you wound up lying on the ground, unable to move, leaving everyone else helplessly staring at a group of victims. Your mistake was in your judgment of your own tactical role, not in your qualifications to become a Soul Reaper. And yet you think you aren't qualified because you couldn't do everything in one go?"

He walked back to the table and looked down at Hu.

"I scolded you so you would remember that mistake. Not so you'd think you were good for nothing."

Hu was left speechless.

"Yexing Hu, let me ask you something." Cilian sat down across from him. "What do you think a Soul Reaper is?"

Hu opened his mouth, but he didn't know how to answer.

"Someone who cuts down Hollows? A member of the Gotei 13? Or someone who has a Zanpakuto?" Cilian's single eye remained fixed on him. "None of those."

He paused.

"A Soul Reaper is someone with power."

Hu fell silent.

"I know what you're thinking right now." Cilian's tone was as calm as if he were discussing the weather. "You think you messed up yesterday, that you were only interested in showing off, that you don't deserve this power. So let me ask you: what were you thinking when you released your Shikai at Sizhuzhai yesterday?"

Hu opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Cilian didn't rush him. He simply watched him.

"...I wanted to save Shimizu," Hu finally said, his voice low. "My Zanpakutō spirit kept saying I wasn't resolved enough, that I didn't know why I was fighting. But then I saw Shimizu like that, saw that he was still thinking about protecting Keiko even with that mask on... and I thought, I can't let him die like that."

"What else?"

"And..." Hu frowned, trying to remember. "The things I shouted... I said I didn't want to see tragedies like that, and that I would change everything I couldn't stand."

"Do you still want to?"

Hu froze.

"You wanted to save Shimizu yesterday. Did you?"

"...I did."

"You wanted to kill that Gillian yesterday. Did you?"

"...I did."

"Then what are you so lost about?" Cilian's voice grew grave. "Because you didn't have the strength to save the rest after killing the Gillian? Do you blame yourself for not being some immortal who could do everything in one go? No one can solve everything right from the start. When you can't solve everything on your own, you should find the thing that needs you most and take care of it."

Hu had no answer.

Cilian looked at him and suddenly sighed again. This time, the sigh was heavier than before.

"Yexing Hu, do you know about the original Gotei 13?"

Hu froze. The change of subject was too sudden.

"The history books of Soul Society don't go into much detail, and there are only scattered mentions in the Fon Clan's records." Cilian looked out the window, as if recalling something. "But as an old man who has served the Fon Clan for four hundred years, I know a few legends."

He paused.

"The captains of the original Gotei 13, every one of them—and I mean every one—was a so-called great villain."

Hu's eyes widened.

"Some slaughtered people without number, some made rivers run with blood, and some would destroy an entire district for their own selfish desires." Cilian's tone never wavered. "Few people today can name them all or describe all their abilities. A lower-ranking noble family like the Fon Clan can barely even scratch the surface. But one thing is certain: not one of them became a Soul Reaper because they wanted to be one."

He turned his head and looked at Hu.

"They became Soul Reapers because they had power."

Hu fell silent.

"Do you think those original captains knew, when they gained their power, that they would one day form the Gotei 13? That they would become the guardians of order in Soul Society?" The corner of Cilian's mouth twitched slightly. "They didn't. They simply held the swords in their hands and survived those chaotic times."

"But..."

"But what? But they later became part of that order?" Cilian cut him off. "Do you know how many 'villains' there still are in the Gotei 13 today?"

He paused.

"The captain of the 11th Division is called Kenpachi Zaraki. He's a madman who became a Soul Reaper so he could fight and kill. He became captain by killing the previous captain of the 11th Division. He isn't a captain to protect anything; he just wants to cut down stronger opponents. And almost every captain of the 11th Division has taken the position the same way. Do you think they're good people?"

Cilian looked at Hu.

"But they are Soul Reapers. They are captains of the Gotei 13. Can you say they aren't qualified?"

Hu couldn't answer.

"Yexing Hu, being a Soul Reaper isn't a job you can take when you feel like it and abandon when you don't." Cilian's voice grew grave. "Being a Soul Reaper is the destiny that comes with power. If you have power, you have to shoulder what comes with it. You want to hide? Where would you go?"

He pointed at Hu.

"Yesterday, when you released your Shikai, Jiku'a responded to you. Why? Because at that moment, you had resolve. Not because you wanted to be a Soul Reaper, but because there were things you wanted to do, people you wanted to save, tragedies you wanted to change. Those feelings, that power, are already part of you."

Hu looked down at his hands.

"Now you think you aren't qualified to be a Soul Reaper, that you messed up, that you don't deserve this power—" Cilian stood up. "So what are you going to do? Throw Jiku'a away? Pretend you never released your Shikai? Next time you see someone turn into a Hollow, or someone who needs saving, are you going to hide off to the side and say, 'I'm not qualified'?"

He walked to the door and looked back at Hu.

"We caught twenty-seven clothed Hollows yesterday. Remember yesterday's mistake, then keep moving forward!"

The door slid shut.

The room fell silent.

Hu stared at the ceiling, his mind in turmoil. Cilian's words had struck his heart like stones, each one painfully hard.

Remember yesterday's mistake, then keep moving forward.

He wasn't telling Hu to forget, but to remember. Remember the consequences of getting carried away, remember the wretched sight of himself lying on the ground, unable to move, and then—keep moving forward.

He thought of what Jiku'a had said to him yesterday, sitting on the Throne in his Inner World. He hadn't understood then, but now it seemed... he understood a little.

If you do not know what it means, then there is no point in speaking of my name.

That man's lonely, broken early life will be your fate.

He had pursued power all his life, and what had he gained in the end? A son who didn't recognize him, a younger brother who fought him to the death, and years of loneliness and obsession.

But what about Hu himself?

He wasn't that man.

He had Jiku'a chattering beside him, an instructor like Cilian to set him straight when he went astray, the girl Fon Shaoling, who had always thought highly of him—and his friend Shimizu...

Yesterday, there was someone you wanted to save, and you saved him. There was a Hollow you wanted to kill, and you killed it. What are you so lost about?

Hu rolled his shoulders. His body was no longer sore, and his strength had almost completely returned.

He pushed open the door and headed for the medical room.

In the medical room, Shimizu was still lying in the same position. Hearing the door, he turned his head and saw Hu enter.

"Hey." Shimizu forced a smile that looked a little comical on his pale face. "You're up and walking already?"

"Kaidō works fast." Hu went to his bedside, pulled over a chair, and sat down. "How are you?"

"I just need to lie here for a few days." Though Shimizu's voice was weak, it was much stronger than last night. "The people here said a large amount of my Reishi was stripped away, so it'll take some time to recover."

Hu looked at him.

Shimizu looked back. After a few seconds of silence, Shimizu spoke first.

"Hu, thanks for yesterday."

Hu said nothing.

"I mean it." Shimizu lay flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "I really didn't think I'd make it out alive. Yesterday, I thought I was dead for sure. Then you cut me and sliced the Hollow out of me."

He paused.

"It hurt like hell. But it was worth it."

Hu looked at him.

"Do you know what I was thinking?" Shimizu turned his head and looked at Hu. "I was thinking that Keiko was still waiting for me. If it weren't for that cut yesterday, she would have had to wait her whole life."

Hu fell silent.

"And another thing." Shimizu's gaze grew serious. "If I'd died like that yesterday, what would I have died as? A loser who'd fallen and become a Hollow? A disgrace to the Fon Clan?"

He took a deep breath.

"I didn't disgrace the Fon Clan. I didn't betray the Fon Clan. I just..." He paused. "I just couldn't beat those damned Hollows."

Hu opened his mouth.

"You gave me a chance." Shimizu looked him straight in the eye. "A chance to go on being Shimizu. A chance to give Keiko happiness myself. A chance to keep training and keep moving forward."

He reached out and gave Hu's arm a firm pat.

"So thank you. Not just because you saved my life, but because you let me keep standing on my own two feet as myself."

Hu looked at him and suddenly felt a sting in his eyes.

"So what are you going to do from now on?" he asked.

Shimizu smiled.

"Keep training, of course," he said. "I wanted to become a Soul Reaper already, and now I want it even more. Once I'm better, I'll keep training and toughing it out. One day, I'll make it into Shin'ō Academy."

He looked at Hu.

"When that happens, if you haven't graduated, we'll work hard together. If you have graduated... wait for me in the Second Division. Either way, I'll definitely catch up to you."

Hu stared for a moment, then smiled.

"Okay."

By the time Hu came out of the medical room, it was already broad daylight.

Sunlight on Bamboo Creek Plain filtered through the bamboo grove and fell warmly on him. The distant sound of a stream drifted over, accompanied by the rustling of bamboo leaves, like a gentle tune.

He stood in the corridor, looking at the bamboo grove, and thought of what Shimizu had just said.

Let me remain standing and continue to be myself.

Twenty-seven!

There were still twenty-seven souls waiting for a Soul Reaper who could turn them back into "themselves."

It wasn't because he wanted to become a Soul Reaper that he gained power.

Rather, it was because he had power that he became a Soul Reaper.

Hu gripped Jiku'a at his waist and walked toward Fon Shaoling's study.